berylblue

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Posts by berylblue

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  6

  When you left the JW's

  by freedom96 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when you left, or were planning to leave, did you plan your exit?

  for myself, i had created a life outside the organization.

  new friends, etc, so when i did the fade away, it was not as harsh as it has been for others.

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  berylblue

  I was disfellowshipped. Although I didn't go to many meetings at the time anyway. But I had no "doubts" then either.

  Beryl
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  6

  Attempted or successful suicides

  by berylblue in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  anyone know of persons who tried to kill themselves or did kill themselves when they were df?.

  and while i didn't try, i certainly felt like it.. beryl

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  berylblue

  Oh, and I would tell Jehovah I'd save him the trouble of killing me at Armegeddon. Then I 'd feel awful and pray for forgiveness, because I knew it wouldn't be any trouble for him to kill me at all.

  Instead of praying for forgiveness for thinking of taking my life....

  Beryl
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  6

  Attempted or successful suicides

  by berylblue in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  anyone know of persons who tried to kill themselves or did kill themselves when they were df?.

  and while i didn't try, i certainly felt like it.. beryl

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  berylblue

  Anyone know of persons who tried to kill themselves or did kill themselves when they were DF?

  I know of two myself. And while I didn't try, I certainly felt like it.

  Beryl
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  22

  I have been free for 1647 days!!!

  by Elsewhere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been free for 1647 days!!!

  four years!!!

  i left the borg on august 9, 1998 and have been enjoying every minute of it!!!

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  berylblue

  3039 since I was disfellowshipped. I don't consider myself out yet, because I am still clinging to a lot of the beliefs.

  Is there anywhere I can discuss these respectfully with someone?

  Beryl
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  21

  Ever Had an Accurate Horoscope?

  by Robdar in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  have you ever had a horoscope be so accurate that it gave you goosebumps?

  here lately they have all been hitting close to home.

  today's was particularly right on.

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  berylblue

  No. Quite honestly, I believe they are written in a way to fit everyone's circumstances in one way or another. And the descriptions of each sign? Pretty generic. I'm a "Leo", by the way.

  And the Witnesses would tell anyone who went to astrology after leaving that they were doing worse than returning to vomit.

  That's not what I'm saying, of course. Just my observation that astrology doesn't cut it for ME.

  Beryl
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  11

  Jehovah's Witnesses And The Cycle Of Fear

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  witnesses are enwrapped in a cycle of fear.

  " .....somebody gets stumbled, misunderstands, or disagrees?

  "...they tell on me, ridicule me or judge me?

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  berylblue

  It is a religion based on fear. Of course, we weren't told that, in so many words. But I, at least, was (and still am) terrified that Jehovah really hates me. I -still- live in fear. I don't know how to change that. As a former Catholic, I was taught that God would destroy me (by letting me get hit by a car - that was usually the way the Catholic God did it) if I did something wrong, like not wear my scapular or pray the rosary.

  As a JW, I was told that the "truth would set me free". For all the "truth" in the WTS, it really didn't set me free. I was scared to death. And still am.

  Beryl
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  4

  The identity of a witness.

  by freedom96 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it seems to me, that most witnesses are exactly that: they are a witness.

  their sole existance is of being one.

  then comes, parent, spouse, friend, workmate, etc.

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  berylblue

  But did you ever -really- fall for that? That a lousy Witness would get life and a good non-Witness would not? I never did, and stated quite plainly that Witnesses were going to have a very big surprise at the time of the end; many, many Witnesses would not make it, so I stated, and many, many, MANY non-Witnesses would.

  No one ever seemed to take particular offense to my "observation". But then, I avoided any kind of real discussions with most Witnesses like the plague. It would serve no purpose other than to get me in "trouble".

  Beryl
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  8

  Just venting

  by dsgal in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i faded from the jws thirteen months ago and since then i have only been called on by two elderly pioneer "sisters" a couple of times.no loving shepherding calls from the elders,not even once.i always felt out of place at the kh because i didn't have any friends there.never once got invited to social gatherings the whole year i went there.what's with all the clique $hit?that's about as far from jesus' teachings as i've ever seen.now today out of the blue i have a message on my machine from one of the elder's mother.i didn't call her back.wonder what came over her to think of me anyway?oh well,you all might not understand my feelings but i feel better now that i sat down and typed it out.

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  berylblue

  DSGirl,

  I do understand and I care. Write whenever you want.

  [email protected]
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  23

  Paradise Reloaded

  by expatbrit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  everybody was doing the same thing, hugging and dancing in circles.

  and the hugging and dancing and laughing and crying started all over again.

  all day long.

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  berylblue

  You know what I HATED! Those damned, stupid, trite dramas at the District Assemblies. When the "bad, awful, terrible" worldly people died in those dramas, the audience would go wild with delight and applause. It disgusted me.
  
  "I take no delight in the death of anyone unrighteous". Is that it?

  Sick.

  Beryl
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  2

  This is how I feel now

  by Liquidizer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a broken heart

  my empty eyes staring at the wall

  a black heart always complaining

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  berylblue

  Please write to me at [email protected]. I will try to help if I can. Feeling like that myself.

  Beryl