Posts by calamityjane

31

Sorry that I am a bit grumpy :(

by caspian in

jw
friends

i took a specialised law exam yesterday, and i should really have been revising hard this past month, but because of what happened with my dad, i didn't.

even though i won't get the results till next week i know that i have failed , and the company that i work have never had anyone fail this exam before.

so i am a bit cheesed off.

calamityjane

Don't Swing...
> >
> > Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to hit his ball
> >
> > into the woods finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups.
> >
> > Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about
> > every buttercup in the patch.
> >
> > All of a sudden . . . POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old
> >
> > woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it
> > took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any
> > butter for your popcorn the rest of your life; better still; you won't
> >
> > have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life..... as a
> > matter
> > of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"
> >
> > Then POOF!...she was gone.
> >
> > After Dave got hold of himself, he hollered for his friend, Fred.
> > "Fred,
> > where are you?"
> >
> > Fred yells back, "I'm over here, in the pussy willows."
> >
> > Dave yells back...... "DON'T SWING, FRED!!! For the love of God, DON'T
> >
> > SWING!!!"

9

This REALLY made me laugh!

by nicolaou in

who would be a property developer?

this is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the australian equivalent of the workers' compensation board.. a true story.

dear sir,.

calamityjane

ROFLMAO, and trying not to get caught at work.

49

Food in Due Season GET IT NOW - FREE

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

the second jwd cookbook food in due season - the jwd holiday cookbook is completed and simon has posted it here.

this cookbook is a gift - free!!!

so enjoy.

calamityjane

Thank you so much for you hard work.

cj

6

How To Stop JWs From Knocking On Your Door

by xjw_b12 in

ok i've seen the decals people can put on their doors, such as :

the one with the doberman on it......saw that here somewhere this week but can't find it now.

or this one, that wildhorses made up for me:

calamityjane

There are soooooooooooo many single sisters dying to find a mate in the Borg that a good grope of such a knocker would make their day and you'd NEVER get them off your door then

Dansk that is so true. I saw that picture and knew that wouldn't hinder the "sex deprived" sisters from touching that.

28

Larc is back

by larc in

jw
friends

for some reason, my webtv system is working again, and i am back, at least for awhile.

hopefully, it will keep working.

for some time, i could only read the friends area, but could not respond.

calamityjane

Welcome back.

cj

33

First Christmas

by yxl1 in

when we first left the dubs, we celebrated x-mas pretty much straight away, but had no decorations or tree, and only gave gifts to each other.

for some reason it just seemed wrong to put up decorations and we continued to celebrate this way for about 5 years.

we decided to put up decorations when it was my daughters 1st x-mas, and have never looked back.

calamityjane

The first year after we left we celebrated Christmas by decorating my umbrella tree plant with mini clear christmas lights, just so as not to bring attention to ourselves, as at that time I didn't want to upset my family.

But I believe the 2nd year that we were out, it was 2 days before Christmas. XJW called me from work and said that there was a sale on artificial Christmas Trees and asked whether I was interested, in looking, (we had no Christmas Decorations at this point, except for that string of mini christmas lights) I jumped at the fact, told him to get home and lets go shopping. By the time we had finished shopping (there were awesome sales at this point 70% off). So we bought this big honking seven foot christmas tree, regularly $500.00, got it for $100.00, plus tons of ornaments and lights. By the time we got home the little ones were in bed. I got our oldest up to show her the loot we came back with so that same night we spent the next couple of hours putting together the tree and decorating it. It was quite the sight, and the kids woke up Saturday morning to their first christmas.

The looks on their face were priceless.

We've never looked back, now I don't care who sees the decorated Christmas Tree, there is no mistaking it in our front window.

We are definitely the second place to the Clark Griswald's Christmas Vacation.

cj

33

HOW "TRUE" ARE JW HOURS ?

by josephus in

jw
friends

as a jw i admit to "massaging" my hours nearly every month to keep up with the expected amount.. my brother never put in hir report for nearly 2 years.

i was amazed when i asked the secretary he told me "i allways put a few hours in if people forget" !!!

so my brother was a regular publisher despite not going out on service.. he was one man.