"That's my problem: I care. Damn it, I fucking care. It's one of my bests strengths. It's also the cause of every single one of my downfalls. It will always cause me to land on the dungheap of dispair and disappointment. If only I could cut out my heart and never care about anything or anyone ever again."
Scully - I don't know you and don't know what has happened to make you feel so bad. But I just wanted to say something. You say that because you care, you end up getting hurt all the time - that's probably true. But it is better to be a person with feelings, who cares about things and people, than be a heartless person who only looks out for themselves. You sound like the sort of person who would be so valuable as a friend - there aren't that many people like you. I have been let down so many times by so many people. I know what it is like to wear your heart on your sleeve, to go out of your way for others, only to be let down (again!). But I would rather go on as I am and care about others and love them and try to help, even if it means getting hurt, than to be someone with an icy stone for a heart. You sound such a genuine, warm, loving person and anyone would be privileged to have a friend like you. I always like reading your posts. Don't let stupid, unthinking, cruel people get you down. I hope you feel better soon.
Warmest love
Roz
xxR