Whoa vanyell! Have you let your wife in on your plans to bounce once you have enough $$$ saved? Are you going to give her a fighting chance to start fresh after separation?
losingit
JoinedPosts by losingit
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67
Raising kids - JW mother, agnostic father
by Zana inmy wife and i have two wonderful children aged 1 and 3. i was raised as a lutheran but stopped believing in my late teen years.
my wife is what i would call a liberal jw (yes, i believe such people exist .
sooner or later our children will have questions about religion and the differences mom and dad show towards it.
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26
how long before you felt refreshed and new?
by losingit inwaking up from jw-land is an extremely exhausting process.
about 3 years ago, i attended a month-long institute for grad school students.
during this time, i was surrounded by people from all over the united states and had active, deep conversations with so many about personal topics, such as religion and divorce.
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losingit
How do I even get out of bed? What are some things that I can do besides meds to make me feel better? How do I start? I've never been like this in my entire life! :-( :-(
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26
how long before you felt refreshed and new?
by losingit inwaking up from jw-land is an extremely exhausting process.
about 3 years ago, i attended a month-long institute for grad school students.
during this time, i was surrounded by people from all over the united states and had active, deep conversations with so many about personal topics, such as religion and divorce.
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losingit
Yeahhhh it looks like a major depression... the grad school situation, where I was threatened with not graduating and not getting my license, put me over the edge. Yeah, before, I was down but I kept going to my internship, I was still on top of stuff around the house. Yeah, I was down about my girls' father disappearing and the lack of funds really made me sick. But I kept trekking along. Of course not having my crew of friends made me sad but I.still met up with the Japanese neighbor downstairs for tea. But that grad school situation... it felt like I got jumped and got beat by a gang of thugs. The power lorded over me was just too much.....
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26
how long before you felt refreshed and new?
by losingit inwaking up from jw-land is an extremely exhausting process.
about 3 years ago, i attended a month-long institute for grad school students.
during this time, i was surrounded by people from all over the united states and had active, deep conversations with so many about personal topics, such as religion and divorce.
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losingit
Eyeuse2badub...
Time...I'm becoming impatient with time. I talk to my cousin sometimes (she's Christian, never a jw) and her way of seeing things gives me hope. I lost faith in love, marriage, and friendship so sometimes it's refreshing to hear her speak so confidently in God's plan for me and how things will get better.Sometimes I wish I lived nearby her bc her energy is so positive.
Something that brings me down a lot are things that my ex says about me-- that I'm so negative and how I bring other ppl down. WOW. I know I'm intense and passionate. But I hate to think he's right. Myboyfriend tells me to focus on the positive too. I guess I could list them as a reminder?
I have my beautiful girls who are healthy and happy and smart. Despite this crazy year, they have grown so much,it's amazing. To know that I provided the safe stimulating environment they needed for that growth to take place makes me hhappy. They deserve the best, and I'll do anything and everything to provide that for them.
I have my caring and loving boyfriend, who has gone out of his way to help me and the girls during this ttremendous time of transition. Even when it looked like we might break up, he made it clear that he'd never abandon us. He's invested in our future, and that makes me happy.
I have my parents, andespecially my mom, who has comforted me over the phone when I was in enormous pain over the separation and abuse I was receiving from my ex. Her supportive words have calmed me down.
Ihave my volunteering at the girls old preschool and current school. I love being there in their school. The little ones bring me so much joy just from their cuteness and the older ones make me so happy with their inquisitiveness and hard working attitudes.
Ofcourse, there are so many thngs I wish I had-- like $$$, a job, friends. When I allow myself the luxury of letting that positivity penetrate my senses, I'm happy. I wish I did that more often.
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26
how long before you felt refreshed and new?
by losingit inwaking up from jw-land is an extremely exhausting process.
about 3 years ago, i attended a month-long institute for grad school students.
during this time, i was surrounded by people from all over the united states and had active, deep conversations with so many about personal topics, such as religion and divorce.
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losingit
I do need to call up my therapist again. I was going regularly then stopped bc i just didnt have the time. I feel the need to go again.
I do think leaving the jwlifestyle takes a tremendous amount of energy. I can only imagine how much more life-sucking it would be if I had family in the cult. It would be nice to go to a friend's house for dinner and laugh up a storm like I used to. I MISS relaxing with my friends, feeling safe and loved. I MISS having friends over and cooking a delicious meal for 8. Ultimately, the social network was not enough to keep me in. But ohhhhh how I miss those times! :'(
I wish I were more open to meeting new people. I try to.make new friends, but then they turn out to be looney tunes like Hannah. Ugh. :-( :-(
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63
What are your turn offs in a guy or girl?
by Iamallcool inone of them is nose rings/piercings.
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losingit
I can't stand arrogance or selfishness. I love a brilliant or quirky mind. Fun-loving and adventurous- - those are great qualities too. Loyalty and commitment are impressive as well. I don't have time for games, so a frivolous nature really irks me. I love a man with a BIG HEART.
As far as looks-- I like a rugged man. He can be hairy, or he can have no hair. But he's got to be rough and tumble, athletic. If anyone here knows who Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock, is-- I could fall in love with that man. Besides the fact that he is so handsome, he is a gentleman, he's definitely rough, he's got that killer smile, his heart is HUMONGOUS, he's. ... perfect!
But definitely- - he has to be a good lover and feel like a man. It's so GROSS to touch a man whose chest and arms feel as soft as a woman's.
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26
how long before you felt refreshed and new?
by losingit inwaking up from jw-land is an extremely exhausting process.
about 3 years ago, i attended a month-long institute for grad school students.
during this time, i was surrounded by people from all over the united states and had active, deep conversations with so many about personal topics, such as religion and divorce.
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losingit
Waking up from jw-land is an extremely exhausting process. About 3 years ago, I attended a month-long institute for grad school students. During this time, I was surrounded by people from all over the United States and had active, deep conversations with so many about personal topics, such as religion and divorce. I didn't once attend a meeting at the Kingdom Hall. To say that I woke up, is really an understatement. Besides the day-long seminars, intellectual discussions at lunch, and field trips to important monuments, I was also learning about how life outside Watchtower was like. I felt like my heart got an electrical jump start. Once I returned home, nothing was ever the same again. I didn't know what was wrong. All I knew was that I could no longer be a Witness anymore. I really did not know why.
The 3 years since that summer have been torture. In that time, my husband and I separated-- that process alone was devastating, to say the least because I loved him so much and wanted my marriage and family so badly. He moved out, and although there was finally peace in the house, I was sooooo depressed. He was disfellowshipped, and then so was I. In an instant, whatever support I might have needed to survive the next year disappeared. A few months after that, I was given 30 days to pack 13 years worth of stuff and find an apartment for me and the girls. Soon after, he stopped paying child support, and whatever money I had saved to pay my last semester's worth of tuition was transferred to taking care of the girls and myself. My internships started, and while my first placement was a success, my second one ended with lots of controversy. I am summarizing as best as I can here, but really, what I want to say is: I am SO TIRED.
I am EXHAUSTED. Besides visiting the lawyer to find out options after my grad school crapped on me, I have not gotten out of bed for 2-3 weeks. I ask my boyfriend to cook up a hot meal for me; when I'm done, I ask for a massage because my neck and shoulders are so tense, and then I fall out, in a flash, snoring loudly and sleeping as hard as a rock. I can sleep all day, all night, only to wake up to eat. I haven't left my bedroom in weeks. I can't handle emotional turmoil-- I had a very heavy emotional conversation with my ex-husband two nights ago, my eyes in the end were puffed up, and I looked like hell til basically this morning. I just want peace in my life. I want to feel stable, secure, and safe. When will that feeling come?
I am waiting for the heat of this summer. I'm hoping that the warmth of the sun on my skin and swimming in the pool will help me feel better.
I just wonder-- did you feel this tired after leaving jws? How long did it take before you felt refreshed and new?
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losingit
The point is you have to search within the site .It's not readily available.
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Looking Back, Are You Embarrassed By Your Attitudes, Speech, Actions as a JW?
by minimus ini think of how judgmental we were as witnesses.
"worldly ones" were almost as bad as disfellowshipped ones but not as bad as "apostates"..
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losingit
I'm embarrassed I ever became a jw. But the truth about the cult didn't come out til much later as time progressed. I tried to b a hardcore jdub but i wasnt that great at the hate and judgment part. I miss the family that I had, tho, but that can't be anymore.
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Starting to believe in "new lite" .......
by Blttex ini'm now fully convinced that the society provide new lite!
well, at least the lite that is defined by miriam webster.
they were right all along, just had the wrong spelling.. lite- 2: diminished or lacking in substance or seriousness <litenews>; specifically : being an innocuous or unthreatening version often used postpositively <it is film noir lite james greenberg> .
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losingit
Cute analysis :-)