Punk,
Two great statements: "I have observed myself, that those that genuinely want to show love within the congregations are the first ones to leave the cult." AND
"That there is no love is a reflection of what is filtering down from those above in the corporation."
Over a period of several years, these two issues began eating at me, to the point that it was apparent that the problems were not with individual men in the congregations - they were caused by the leaders in Brooklyn.
Every organization gets exactly the type of management it desires, and the Dark Lords are no different. Those who excelled in the Dark Tower were typically the task masters, those who cared more about the 'company' than individual sheep, and the mini-me Legalists and Pharisees - exactly like the Dark Lords.
These two issues you identify were the catalyst to my questioning, along with the oppressive control.