Before I read your story, you were one of my favorite posters, because of your outstanding, mature insights into various issues. Thank you for posting your story.
I can see now that we even have backgrounds that are similar...except in my case, family is reunited the best it can be, and that is a great relief and blessing to be sure. I hope that you experience similar reconciliation in time. That's cathartic, too.
I reread your story and I'm missing something...you said you were in Missouri, and all of a sudden, you moved back from Hawaii? I must have missed something in there.
Anyways, you said: After I graduated from high school, we moved to Wichita, KS. That’s where things went downhill fast. All of the friend, love and support I’d had in the Hawaiian congregations was suddenly gone. The personality of the Wichita Linwood congregation was very legalistic and judgmental compared to Hawaii. The elders seemed hardnosed, unloving, and at times not even friendly.
That's the type of cold congregation I was in before I left, too. Pharisaical to the core.
Personally, I think that some congregations are actually practicing a different religion entirely than that of the JWs because of their warmth. It's almost like some of these congregations don't even know Brooklyn exists. I've heard great stories about Hawaiian congregations, as well as Fiji, Tahiti, etc. It must be because of the people in those Pacific Islands. It's like a different world. Rural Kansas, or rural Ontario, same s*** different pile, as far as legalism goes. It's like night and day.