The elders said that there was nothing they could do to help the situation while he was there
Even when he is (and is doing the wrong thing) they `do` nothing!
but to allow him to be the head of the house and gave me a long counseling on being submissive.
My sisters experience was the same after years of physical, emotional and financial abuse. She was the one that recieved stern `reprimands`.
Hi out4good3
I left my first husband a dub after 2 yrs of marriage I was 22 at the time with two young babies - I consider I made the right choice and very lucky altho naturally I lost family and friends as well (being DF). The reason I consider myself `lucky` is due to watching / hearing what my sister had to endure being married to a dub for 13 yrs. Although she never attempted to leave the troof the whole time - she went through some pretty horrid stuff. I remember even on her honeymoon coming to me and my husband and my parents with a black eye, which was covered up by all that knew about it! On many many occasions she sought help from the elders who believed it was her making and convincing her own parents that she was in some way responsible. The final straw for her and her final release from the troof was that she was raped by her husband, she went to the elders onec more and guess what......it must have been her fault somehow!!! She left the state she was in and returned home to parents on the premise of a short holiday - after some yrs of adjustment she is now out fully and is very aware of the inappropriateness of anyone backing up male perpetrators of violence. She often asks me now `why didn`t anyone help me`..........mmmmmmmm sad eh!