JohnR

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Posts by JohnR

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  13

  The Soap Opera Continues

  by JohnR in

  1. social
  2. family

  after reading many stories here i guess i should have seen this coming but i would not have thought it possible with my family.. my brother and his family went over to the org over ten years ago.

  we were informed recently that one of my nephew's(jeff) got out and we could not be happier.

  jeff is seeing a woman who is very nice.

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  JohnR

  Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. It is strange that my brother has not met Jeff's girl friend yet but Jeff's brother and sister have. I wonder what my brother thinks of that? In any event my mother has decided to have just the JW side of the family over for dinner. Yes I know what it seems like but my mother wants to keep the lines of communication open with her son. We will see what happens. I do find it odd that he will visit his non JW family but will not see his former JW child. So, dinner is in a week. I wonder what we will talk about? Thanks, John
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  13

  The Soap Opera Continues

  by JohnR in

  1. social
  2. family

  after reading many stories here i guess i should have seen this coming but i would not have thought it possible with my family.. my brother and his family went over to the org over ten years ago.

  we were informed recently that one of my nephew's(jeff) got out and we could not be happier.

  jeff is seeing a woman who is very nice.

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  JohnR

  After reading many stories here I guess I should have seen this coming but I would not have thought it possible with my family.

  My brother and his family went over to the org over ten years ago. We did not like it but what are you going to do? We were informed recently that one of my nephew's(Jeff) got out and we could not be happier. Jeff is seeing a woman who is very nice. We met them for dinner and learned that he has not been in the org for a few years and she has helped him with being with people for holidays and the like. My brother has known this for over 8 months but did not say anything to us even when we asked how Jeff was.

  Now to what happened yesterday. My mother wanted to have the entire family over for dinner in May. She talked to my brother's wife, agreed on a date and mentioned that she would call the grandchildren that are not living with my brother. She called the grandchild(Mike) that is still a JW but he and his wife did not answer so she left a message. An hour or so later she received a call and thought it was Mike. However it was my brother who informed my mother that if Jeff was going to be at the dinner then he would not be coming. My mother tried to reason with him but he would not discuss it with her. So I guess he is shunning his kid. I never thought it would come to that. At the moment it looks like we will be having the dinner without Jeff just so we see my brother and keep the peace. Has anyone else had a situation similar to this and how did you handle it?

  TIA

  John
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  6

  What if a close family member decided to join the org?

  by ohiocowboy in

  1. social
  2. family

  scary topic, and knock on wood it doesn't happen to anyone, but.... what if one of your closest family members; spouse, sibling, parent, or child came to you and told you that their mind is made up, and they have decided to join the organization.

  how would you respond?

  what unbiased, loving council would you give them, so as not to ruin your relationship with them?.

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  JohnR

  My brother and his family went in to the org over ten years ago. They were looking for something that they thought was lacking in their lives. By the time we knew they were studying with JW's it was too late. I think once people have made up their mind it is counter productive to try to talk them out of it. Just point out that you think they are making a mistake and that you are available for them if they have questions or change their minds. Keep the lines of communication open and hope that at some point they will come to their senses.
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  7

  Nephew Out...Now What?

  by JohnR in

  1. social
  2. family

  just recently i have found out that my nephew (i'll call him r) is no longer a jw.

  my brother and sister-in-law (his parents) are still in along with there 2 other children.

  the other son married an elder's daughter a year ago and my niece is a pioneer.

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  JohnR

  Thank you all for your comments and suggestions you have all been very helpful.

  I have made plans to have dinner with R and his girlfriend in about a week. So, some things may be answered or become more clear at that time. I do not think he was DF'd. I think it was a slow process that began when he went to college. Although he stayed at home and commuted I think that was the begining. It accelerated when he moved out of the house about 3 years ago and was not able to keep up with the JW work load or maybe he did not want to? He has been dating this woman for over 6 months now and we only heard it from him. His parents knew about her but have said nothing to us so far. I doubt they ever will.

  Part of me is very happy in a gloating sort of way that he is no longer a JW but another part knows this is not some contest between us and his parents. I do know that my brother's decision around 15 years ago to join the JW's not only affected him, his wife and children it also affected myself and the rest of the family.

  Thanks again for the comments and suggestions. I am glad this forum is here. It has been a great help.

  JohnR
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  7

  Nephew Out...Now What?

  by JohnR in

  1. social
  2. family

  just recently i have found out that my nephew (i'll call him r) is no longer a jw.

  my brother and sister-in-law (his parents) are still in along with there 2 other children.

  the other son married an elder's daughter a year ago and my niece is a pioneer.

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  JohnR

  Just recently I have found out that my nephew (I'll call him R) is no longer a JW. My brother and sister-in-law (his parents) are still in along with there 2 other children. The other son married an elder's daughter a year ago and my niece is a pioneer. R has a job in advertising which keeps him busy so I always wondered how or if he was keeping up with his JW work. When ever we would question his parents about R they would say he is busy and they really weren't sure how he was doing because he would not call or return messages. R is dating a woman from his office who is Catholic which is what the rest of the family is so we could not be happier. The family would like a closer relationship with R that is have him over for holidays and the like. My question is how should we go about this? Does he need time to sort things out since his parents and siblings are still in? Thanks, JohnR
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  20

  Curiousity about current JW Views on going into churches

  by Brymichmom in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been following a thread on another forum where jw's are insisting that it is ok for them to go inside churches for weddings, funerals, etc.

  they say it's quite ok to go inside any church just as long as they don't participate in the service by singing, praying, kneeling...etc...some of them say that they have seen "guest speakers" in churches who came as watchtower representatives.

  when did this ever change?

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  JohnR

  My Grandmother had died and we were wondering if my brother and his family, who had recently turned JW, would be attending. To our surprise they did come to the wake and the funeral. My brother told me that he had checked with an elder who said as long as they don't participate it should be alright. As he told me this I was thinking you had to ask permission to go to a relatives funeral! And he did not think that was odd. What was even better was when we started praying at the funeral home I had my niece on my lap and the rest of his family just sat there doing nothing.

  Our father died about 5 years ago and they did attend that funeral also. He even let my two nephews be pallbearers and accompany the coffin in to the Catholic church. His family sat there through the entire mass and did nothing else but sit and stand. At the wake the night before the funeral home and viewing room were packed with people. I did not realize how many were JW's until the priest started prayers and about half the people left the room to continue their conversations. They were very loud and my mother was not very happy with them.
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  13

  Another WTdouble standards

  by Stan Conroy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i had the misfortune of looking through the june 8 2002 awake, and stumbled across an article on hawaiian luahas (pardon my spelling as i don't have it here in front of me).

  the footnote said something along the lines of it originating with false religion, but now it's just considered a banquet, so many christians participate with a clean conscience.. wait a minute!.

  what ever happened to "if it had pagan origins it's bad"?

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  JohnR

  Utopian_Raindrops

  You said,

  "I have stayed away from my family for so many years......only realy associating with my parents who bent over backwards to find days off that were not on holidays to spend with thier Grandkids."

  "People work today and a lot of times only get Holidays off!! So this is a real seperating in a sneeky way of people from thier familys. Making you feel uncomforatable with them because they are suposedly"Pagan"."

  Those are both excellent points. My Father always believed that was the purpose behind the teaching. To seperate the JW from their family and then substitute the KH as their new family. It makes them easier to control!

  John
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  10

  JWs accept gifts from Santa's Helpers

  by blondie in

  1. social
  2. current

  http://www.masslive.com/news/unionnews/index.ssf?/base/living-0/103994100286828.xml

  today's news

  santa's helpers cheer youngsters .

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  JohnR

  I am shocked (ok maybe not) that they would accept those presents. I would guess the mother justified it by thinking they were just run of the mill gifts not Christmas gifts. Contrast that with my JW brother thinking he should not come over for dinner a few days after Thanksgiving just because we were serving turkey.

  John
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  2

  Christmas Lights

  by SweatPea in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  check out this sight http://www.mcadenville-christmastown.com.

  this little town is about a 20 minutes from where i live.

  it is absolutely breath taking during christmas time.

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  JohnR

  It looks like they put a lot of work into making the town look nice for the holidays. Nice to see the JWs decorating their homes for the benefit of the community. LOL
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  33

  Oh S#*t! what do i do now?

  by Pleasuredome in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if i survive it thru the coming inquisition of jan,feb & march....what am i gonna do for the memorial?

  if i dont go big questions are going to be asked!

  i dont agree with the rejecting passing of the bread and the wine... so what do you think i should do?

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  JohnR

  From what I have personally experienced with my JW brother and also read here the JWs do a lot of rejecting. They make a big production out of not taking bread and wine. They shun and DF. They break up families. They tend not to associate with anyone outside of the hall. I knew it was bad but I must say I never realized just how bad it was.

  This continues to be an eye opening experience

  Thanks,

  John