Posts by TheSilence

I also agree he should stay with you and not your sister. Who cares if your ex-husband blames you... it is what your son thinks that matters, and your son knows that this was his own decision not yours.

31

Pinch me. Am I Dreaming?

by headisspinning in

jw
friends

i can't even believe what's happened.

i'm really in shock.. without any warning i got an email from my son yesterday afternoon.

"ive been doing a lot of thinking lately, and i have decided i no longer want to be a jehovah's witness.

TheSilence

Hello, headisspinning,

This resonates with me because I was 14 when I told my dad I didn't believe. I lived in the same house with him and for 3 months he did not speak a word to me... after the initial tirade maligning and disowning me, of course. Even today our relationship is stilted.

I would offer you this advice: My mom never once vilified my dad. Even after the things he said to me she said she disagreed with him but to remember that what he did he did out of love because he was trying to save my life. Here's what that did for me: it allowed me an avenue to forgive my dad, which was better for me than for him. It allowed me to see my mom as the bigger person. And it did not for one moment convince me that my dad was not wrong, it simply allowed me to understand his motivation. Let your son see on his own that his dad is wrong. Support your son without maligning his dad, your son will see for himself what kind of person his dad is one way or the other. I haven't been any closer to the religion than I have had to be since coming of age, I have the best possible relationship I could have with my father given than he is an ass ;), I am able to forgive him the things he does knowing that he does love me which is good for me to be able to do so I don't carry it for the rest of my life, and I am best of friends with my mom and respect her and how she chose to handle the situation. I wish for your son the same things.

Best,

Jackie

16

I Miss the Naughty Librarian

by watson in

jw
friends

haven't been on the site as much as in the past.

what happened to beks??

watson.

TheSilence

I think I can get word to her, but she has probably already seen this post anyway. I'll pm her anyway just in case.

24

What action should I take with my favorite cousin who is very condescending?

by RULES & REGULATIONS in

jw
friends

i think i had enough of my cousin!

i'm planning to cut him from my life.

this is a cousin who has complained to me the last 10 years about his wife,kids,work and troubles with his brother and father.

TheSilence

I think if he's your *favorite* cousin {though can't say I'm sure I understand why he would be if he "hates" people like you, but okay} then at least do yourself the courtesy of giving him a call and saying, "Hey, Jackass, have you noticed how your condescension and lack of empathy seems to have driven your wife and family to the edge of patience with you? Well, you reached that point with me the other day. I'm willing to let it go but you *have* to start thinking about the perception you give other people before you open your mouth because if you can't be supportive when I need your support then this relationship is not going to work for me." And then let it go. If it happens again drop him. ;)

11

A non-JW gets it!

by MrFreeze in

in my attempt to seperate myself from the jw's completely, i am finding all kind of awesome people.

of course, if we are talking by jw's standards these people are "awful".

anywho, there are a couple of them who are absolutely fascinated with the fact that i used to be a jw.. the reason they are fascinated is because they are aware of cultish mind-control and understand just how difficult it is to walk away from it all.

TheSilence

Nary a one.

59

Descended from animal? Explain language.

by StopTheTears in

jw
friends

if, as evolutionists claim, all of mankind evolved from the same primitive life-source, then how did we end up with 7,000 different languages?

did one gorilla get angry at another gorilla and decide to start a new language?

i'm intrigued to know.. .

TheSilence

At work a few weeks ago I corrected one of my staff on a policy violation. This employee decided that I was, in actuality, harassing her. I was not coaching or correcting her, it made no difference that she had broken the policy repeatedly and it is my job to correct it... clearly I was simply harassing her for harassment's sake. So she went to my boss and complained. My boss decided we needed to clear the air between us so we all sat down while I calmly tried to explain that I had no issue with her personally, I wasn't harassing her, I was simply doing my job and expecting her to do hers, and that I would correct any employee who did the same thing. We ended the meeting with this employee still of the opinion that I was simply harassing her. Afterwards I told my boss that I may as well have just cut off my thumb... the meeting with her was just as painful and just as useful. I mention this because that is much how I feel about discussing anything with Stop The Tears. If I'm going to try to discuss something with her coherrently I may as well just cut off my thumb... just as painful, just as effective. But, hey, good times, right? ;)

80

You need a messiah

by StopTheTears in

jw
friends

you might well ask that question, do we need a messiah?

yes, it would be logical to wonder whether a messiah would have any real effect on you.. .

some whose opinion you may respect would assure you that the answer is clear and unequivocal: you definitely do need a messiah, just as much as everyone else does.. .

TheSilence

Many people only address one of the questions, but not both.

Well hello, Pot.

7

Who is your boss?

by anewme in

have you ever been the boss, owner, or manager of a company?

have you ever tried to accomplish a goal using lots of other people?.

what problems arose?

TheSilence

Leader is probably better than my usage of the word manager, Outlaw, and better conveys what I was trying to say. I agree. It's what I aspire to. Some days I am very good at it, other days not so much. ;)