Posts by TheSilence

25

How can I get past the anger?

by Rocky_Girl in

jw
friends

i have gotten through so much of the anger i felt toward my parents for their part in my screwed up childhood.

i know they were just doing what they thought was right.

but now, as i celebrate holy and special days with my children i feel a new anger because i cannot give them the big family celebration they deserve.

TheSilence

Sorry... my paragraphs didn't go through the first time... I think I've fixed it. :)

25

How can I get past the anger?

by Rocky_Girl in

jw
friends

i have gotten through so much of the anger i felt toward my parents for their part in my screwed up childhood.

i know they were just doing what they thought was right.

but now, as i celebrate holy and special days with my children i feel a new anger because i cannot give them the big family celebration they deserve.

The only way to get past it, I think, is to forgive them. You've already said you know they were just doing what they thought was right. Isn't that the best any parent can do? Isn't that what you do? Every parent makes mistakes, some bigger than others. You hope that your children forgive you for yours so extend that same courtesy to your parents.

Rather than looking at what they are denying your children see also what they deny themselves. Your children have you and a chance to experience the love, laughter, and happiness that goes along with it... and your parents deny themselves the opportunity to share those memories with your children. They miss out on knowing your children as intimately as they could.

If they were just being mean and vindictive it would be one thing... but they are victims of a cult just like you were. The only difference is that they had a choice, and that is only assuming that they, too, were not raised in the religion. They are the ones still stuck in. They are the ones missing out on life.

Every parent is human and makes mistakes, some are just greater than others. We all have to accept at some point that dad can't fix everything and mom's hugs don't always solve the problems of the world. We all grow up and learn that our parents are fallible. The choice is to hold them to an impossible standard and judge them for it or to forgive them and love them despite their faults. It's hard, I struggle with it myself... but forgiveness is for you, not for them. It allows *you* to move on in your life and get past it. And, as far as I know, it's the only way to truly get past the anger.

Best,

Jackie

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