Alligator
Hi and welcome, I am a Newbie here myself.
I have and am living the 'faded out' life. I had to move countries to do it and then states within the new country. I decided that I needed to evaluate things by myself, without the input of others, it has taken nearly four years so far and I wish now that I had found a board like this or at least someone (exjw or inactive jw) to speak to as I had this nagging feeling of being in some 'limbo land' - not quite in and not quite out. I experienced a lot of guilt and fear when in this state and chose to do the denial thing, just try to forget about the past, didn't work. I knew that some day I would have to face up to things and I am.
I feel 'together' like I know what I am about and I have found that many postings here have answered questions I had and gave me encouragement to continue (even though those writing them did not know).
Take your time, and ask as many questions as you want. Keep asking until you are satisfied that you have got the answer.
I discovered the fear/power factor that is the strongest tool engaged either by ourselves (though years of self practice as dictated though the WT) or by those who hold the power (Elders, MS, GB etc) to over come, once you do, and it is only by educating yourself that you can, you will feel the biggest relief.
Remember others only hold power over you if you allow them to.
Plan, track and accomplish.
J.