I was raised a witness by my mom, but am sorta drifting now to speak with really no practicing religion, but still deep in my heart believe it to be the truth, but guess I am stumbled by the many shortcomings of the people within the organization. One of the many messages I always remember was not to trust any outside organizations, not to talk to anyone, to seek counselling, or to even have any QUESTIONS??????
I think I really feel sorry for my mom, who has lived with an alcoholic all her life who was not in the truth, and she herself to escape, I am sure, drank as well, to relieve the pain of it all. Well we saw, and lived all of this while growing up, despite her denial that we were affected by an alcoholic father and a co-dependent mother.
At my young age of well lets say just left my 30's, I hit a wall and realised my life had been out of control for way too long now. With much help from my sister who is very enlightened, (also raised in the truth, but long gone from it), she gently showed me the "way"
I am looking forward to being able to go to this support group (ACOA) to help me deal with my up-bringing and to be able to talk to others in the same position.
I want to heal and grow, to gain self-esteem, and to learn to unlearn my "co-dependency behaviours" that were modelled for me from my childhood.
What I hate is the fact that I am telling my mom to seek counselling, support groups, to help her with her stuff, but she is against it and denys she has any problems, telling me she gets comfort from studying and the hope of things changing for the better when the new system comes. Yet she has had this hope for 40 years or so now, and what a life that has been..unhappiness with my dad..
I can't understand this at all.. The organization in my mind BRAINWASHES YOU TO BELIEVE YOU ARE MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY CAPABLE OF COPING WITH WHATEVER YOUR LIFE DISHES OUT TO YOU,, and discourages you from gaining any insight into your well-being via OUTSIDE SOURCES...
LIKE, ARE ALL BROTHERS TRAINED PROFESSIONALS IN DEALING WITH ALL THE PSYCHOLOGICAL, EMOTIONAL, ETC, PROBLEMS WITH THE FLOCK? She tells me she seeks councelling from the elders when she feels the need, but I think thats a crock of """"""""
The elders are just ordinary people, not trained in these special matters,,
Anyways, we all need help from time to time..