LOL, Blondie!
I think you and I would have gotten along just fine!
I've said a few things too. One in particular was when the Watchtower Conductor ran across the word "flatulence", looked up at the congregation with a big smile and asked, "What does that word mean?"
I looked at him in astonishment, shrugged and thinking to myself that he'd asked for it, raised my hand. Everybody else was looking for a hole to crawl in. Sure enough, he called on me. "That's a fart." I chirped. He dang near fell off the stage.
Then after I was DFed, I went to meetings and did most everything else just like I always did, as I didn't give a damn what their opinion was anyway. One pompous idiot of an elder (the same one that went running frantically out to my aged father wanting to know if I was going to bomb the Kingdom Hall) was making it a point to be real snooty every chance he got. I just smiled and bided my time.
Finally, in a semi-public letter (2 congregations, the Society, 3 Circuit and 1 District Overseer) I recounted the experience I had in a Kingdom Hall back in Charlotte, NC when I went back to see my daughter and family. I was sitting about 2/3's of the way up towards the front on the aisle when an elder walked up beside me, dropped his hand to my shoulder and smiled real big when I looked up. "I hear that we're not supposed to speak to you." He said real friendly like.
"Yup! That's about the case!" I grinned back.
"Well, we wanted to let you know that we're glad to see you anyhow!" Then he gave my shoulder a squeeze and walked away.
As I continued in the letter, "How I wish you could have experienced that and then came back to this congregation and have Br. XXX come sailing by with a hostile attitude and his nose so high in the air that it is in danger of frostbite! What a contrast!
"I suppose that he thinks that he is inspiring me to come back into the congregation with this conduct, and he is, oh, yes! For every time he does it, it reminds me of the 400 lb. fat lady I saw waddling down the street in stretch pants in Southern California many years ago. In short, they are both ludicrous, hilarious, and equally inspiring."
It's funny, but for some reason he's been as nice as pie ever since. ROTFLOL!!!
Oh, by the way, both Alan F. and Farkel have been in dire need of a good enema for a long time now. (Please let them know I said this) I've been meaning to get to this little job for some time, but have been clear up to my rear in alligators and haven't had the chance yet. However, the Good Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, it won't be long now.
LoneWolf