Hey Smiddy,
I'm 68 now and had been a dub since I was 4. Like most life long dubs I had no choice due to my mom's influence and the threat of being df'ed. For a long time I think I really and truly bought into the wtbts crap. I was a 'golden boy' for the wtbts. Baptized at 12, pioneer at 18, giving public talks throughout the circuit by 19, lots of circuit assembly parts, 2 year sentence for not going to Vietnam, elder at 23 when the 'elder program' started, and the list goes on. By the time I finally 'really' woke up and started doing the research that my logical, reasonable mind demanded, I was nearly 60. By that time I had been suffering tremendously from cognitive dissonance an needed several weeks in a mental health facility to help me realize why I was so depressed and ready to end it all.
Needless to say I survived and today I'm a truly happy person. No more fear of the borg, no more toiling endlessly for the borg. My wife isn't especially happy about my 'awakening' but she certainly sees a better me. My children see me differently but I know that they like the "real" me. I now actually have genuine time for my family to enjoy life. The TRUTH (aka ttatt) really does set you free.
just saying!
eyeuse2badub