When Worls Collide, or When Bored RPG'ers Meet The Kleenex and Keyboard Set:
WitchKing: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears27: Aight.
WitchKing: Shaitan, wench!
BritnetSpears27: scuse me?
WitchKing: I'm from austrialia. It means I'm really diggin you.
BritneySpears27: That is so sweet.
WitchKing: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears27: I slip out of my pants, just for you, King. My panties are wet.. oooh
WitchKing: Okey, alight. Alight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears27: Oh, I like to play dress up.
WitchKing: Me too baby.
BritneySpears27: I kiss you softly on your chest.
WitchKing: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears27: Hey...
WitchKing: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears27: Funny I still don't see it.
WitchKing: Its invisible. I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Coital Wave of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears27: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
WitchKing: Don't trifle with me, mere wench, I'm the mightiest plainswalker of the lands.
WitchKing: I steal your soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears27: Don't ever message me again you piece of shitt.
WitchKing: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
WitchKing: The Emperor congratulates me for destroying an evil army Masonic army from the Drgadondoom Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Merlin steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
WitchKing: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
WitchKing: Baby?
sexysusan: Thats ok. Ok I'm dressed like a japanese schoolgirl, what are you.
WitchKing: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
sexysusan: Haha, ok lets go.
sexysusan: I put my hand through your hair, and kiss you on the neck.
WitchKing: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
sexysusan: Haha, ok, you know that turns me on.
sexysusan: I start unbuttoning your shirt.
WitchKing: Rhinoceruses don't were shirts.
sexysusan: No, your not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
WitchKing: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They charge and stampede.
sexysusan: Stop, c'mon be serious.
WitchKing: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
WitchKing: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
sexysusan: Thats it.
WitchKing: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
WitchKing: Goddam am I hard now.
QT-Pie:Hey
Zero_Blackbird:whats goin on
QT-Pie:Nothing. Who are you?
Zero_Blackbird: I'm the Count, love. Wanna cyber?
QT-Pie:what does that mean?
Zero_Blackbird:what are you wearing?
QT-Pie:T-shirt. Jeans.
Zero_Blackbird:Garter belt?
QT-Pie:Ummm...no.
Zero_Blackbird:Are we gonna cyber or not?
QT-Pie: uh, okay.
Zero_Blackbird:Sweet, I start by using my retained rasa power to levitate and twirl your ass all around. You love this for some reason.
Zero_Blackbird: You're excited already. I can smell your stink from here.
QT-Pie: WHAT?!
Zero_Blackbird: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
Zero_Blackbird:You leave everything to Count Zero, luv.
Zero_Blackbird:I am completely inside of your mind. You are my compulsor's puppet. I put on a little play. I make you go rob the 7-11 for me and bring back a corndog.
QT-Pie:This is weird. I should go.
Zero_Blackbird: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
QT-Pie: A stripe?
Zero_Blackbird: Of mustard. I need a sandwich.
QT-Pie: You're a freak.
Zero_Blackbird: I was great. You loved it.
Katey69: Sure, you into vegetables?
WitchKing: What like gardening an shit?
Katey69: Yeah, something like that.
WitchKing: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
WitchKing: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
Katey69: is that it?
WitchKing: You water your tomato patch.
WitchKing: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katey69: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
WitchKing: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
WitchKing: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
Katey69: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
WitchKing: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
WitchKing: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
Katey69...
WitchKing: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katey69: What the fart is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
WitchKing: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
Katey69: whatever.
LizardKing: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears27: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears27: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
LizardKing: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears27: WTF, I told you not to message me again.
LizardKing: Oh shit
LizardKing: I wink at you through nictating membranes. Your heart palpitates a little faster. Oh hell yes.
BritneySpears27: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were harassassing me you goddam f*** up.
LizardKing: Oh shit. Oh jesus.
BritnetSpears27: I said STOP IT!
LizardKing: damn I gotta write down their names or something...
Mandy4u26: Yeah I'm here.
WitchKing: You ready?
Mandy4u26: Okay.
WitchKing: I take off my trenchcoat I'm nekked beneath, with pistols on my belt.
Mandy4u26: Cowboy boots?
WitchKing: World War I French infantry standard-issue boots.
Mandy4u26: uh okay...
WitchKing: Help me pull my boots off baby.
Mandy4u26: Whats that smell?
WitchKing: Rotting toes.
Mandy4u26: Ummm...
WitchKing: My boots pop off. My feet are black. The toes crumble off with the slightest touch. The dead black tissue that was once my skin chips off in large crispy flakes. A smell of death pervades the room. Gangrenous pus drips from the ends of the stumps where my toes were. I look deep in your eyes, and shove my tongue down your throat.
Mandy4u26: ...
WitchKing: You carress my ass, and put delousing powder on my groin....
WitchKing: Hello?
WitchKing:Your pretty funny
DirtyKate:I don't remember you.. but thanx
WitchKing:Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody (wink)
DirtyKate:Who are you?
WitchKing: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot.
WitchKing:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's
DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
WitchKing:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
WitchKing:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
WitchKing:Ok. X-Large supreme. Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate:Umm...Yes
DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
WitchKing:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
DirtyKate: King, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
WitchKing:You can't hurry good pizza.
WitchKing:I'm on my way now though
DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
WitchKing:How did you know?
WitchKing:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
WitchKing:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
WitchKing:So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
WitchKing:Succint and Fortuitous. I can no longer resist the pizza. It has a will and that will is focusing all its power upon me. There is but one solution. I open the box hungrilly and bite into the crust. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I swallow an entire slice in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate:wtf?
DirtyKate:You perverted piece of shit
