Posts by lost_and

11

Please read this, these are the feelings I had come up again from CBS......

by Jesika in

well, i haven't been on silentlambs in a few months.

it makes me depressed and very emotional.

i didn't want to miss the cbs show tonite, but damnit, i am hurting all over again.

lost_and_searching

Sweet Jesika....just wanted to send some HUGGGGSSSSS your way.

The woman I have become weeps for the child I was......and the child you were. Words cannot express. I only hope you can feel my strength and support. You are in my thoughts and making me remember my own child within.

Someday I know I will post about this. My JW perpetrator was killed in a motorcycle accident last summer. For years he denied any wrongdoing and my own mother defended him. For months before his accident, he would speak directly to me in stores and in front of people and when I had family members with me, and I refused to acknowledge him or be friendy in any way. I have anger. And now I will never have any closure except that which I give myself.

Sometimes, I think we have to have the strength to give ourselves peace....and love ourselves enough so that our enemies can no longer have power over us.

Hugs of Strength, ~Bobbi

62

Would you change user name?

by JH in

jw
friends

.

if you had to choose another user name, what would you choose?.

lost_and_searching

YES! I definitely would! I think I must have been pretty down and depressed the night I found this great forum and joined. I suppose that at the time I truly felt "Lost and Searching". But everyday I am finding so much strength within myself, that I feel the name "Lost and Searching" sounds rather pathetic. LOL

Now, I think I would just like to use a simple "Bobbi" or even my initials or something like that. And I would love to be able to add a picture to my profile, too! ~Bobbi

12

Need Support Tonight

by Charmed in

jw
friends

i feel so alone tonight.

i thought i'd get on here and find some support.

my husband and i got into a fight last night.

lost_and_searching

Glad things have settled down for you tonight. I know only too well how a place like this is needed to just come and do a bit of venting. I wish I had had this place a long time ago!!! LOL My husband and I have been married almost 23 years and I left the cult for him. (or did I use him to leave the cult? hummmmmm.....) And we went thru that period which you described tonight MANY, MANY times. We women raised in the Borg, are taught to be subserviant to our husbands. And unless we stand up for ourselves from time to time and do some arguing, we will let ourselves be walked all over. Good for you for speaking out......and good for you for accepting your husband's apology and moving on. Afterall, that is all we CAN do.......move on......and keep growing outside of the Borg.

Anytime you need to vent.....feel free. Not only doess it help release the anger, but it also helps hearing others' viewpoints.

Hang in there, and BIG HUGS of support, ~Bobbi

55

music groups that pi$$ed JWs off

by Pleasuredome in

jw
friends

i always found it funny that jws hated pop groups with a passion.

here's some groups, that i was always being had a go at for listening to, or told that they shouldnt be listened to...

guns n roses - for sexist and viloent lyrics.

lost_and_searching

As for specific songs....

I remember that as a young girl I wasn't suppose to listen to "Joy to the World" (you know, "Jerimiah was a bullfrog. He was a good friend of mine...etc.) "Cause that song was saying Joy to this old system of things. Yeah rigghttt

And don't forget "Puff, the Magic Dragon" or "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds". SHAME to anyone caught humming those. They were all about DRUGS!!!!

sitting here giggling and singing, ~Bobbi

112

Back from the Memorial

by ScoobySnax in

jw
friends

well like i say, just got back from the memorial, have been going most years, but this year i went by chance (knew it was roughly at 7pm at the nearest kh) to my old congregation that i grew up in.

i didn't find the "evil" people spoke of here on this forum, or those too stupid to see.

all i did see was people i hadn't seen in years, and let me tell you, what lovely people they were.

lost_and_searching

Well Folks, I just got back from Memorial myself. Walked in my front door, kicked off my high heels, and grabbed another vodka to celebrate the fact that I don't have to set foot in that building again for anotehr whole year!!! YEAH!!!!

I gotta admit, the smile of happiness on my parents' faces made it worthwhile, and since I walked in as the first song was starting and we left immediately after that final prayer....I didn't have to put up with too many fake smiles or hugs from people. LOL

Now, is it just me......or are the prayers getting LONGER and L-O-N-G-E-R? I swear...each one of the brothers asked to give a SHORT prayer, gave his own mini-talk. I think one lasted an entire 5 minutes!!!!! Are they upset because they didn't get asked to give the main talk and want to get their own voice in? Geez.........that is one thing (among many) I really don't miss. The LONG prayers.

~Bobbi (who is just so HAPPY to have that over with for another year!!! )

28

Memorial anyone?

by basics-for-me in

jw
friends

anyone got plans to attend the memorial?.

i am going again this year.

not out of duty or for anyone else but for myself.

lost_and_searching

Unfortunately......Yes, I'm going. But only because of the pleasure it will give my mother and the smile it will put on my Dad's face. My three kids will go with me (even my college 22 year old 'cause he loves his Nana), but only because they support me (that way I have SOMEONE to look at and roll my eyes with. LOL) I do this once per year and only in respect for my parents. I swear, once they are gone.......I will never set foot in a KH again. But while they are alive......I will attempt in this small way to bring them some happiness. I still have no idea what the heck I am going to wear. (Remember, that used to be the BIG issue for women. LOL)

So......I am sitting here sipping on my 2nd Vodka with Grapefruit Juice. It is 6:00 pm and it starts at 7:30 pm. I bet I can down at least one more drink to make myself more anesthetized for the occasion. LOL I sure wish I had the guts to "partake". Maybe something to look forward to for the future when Momma and Daddy are gone!!!

~Bobbi (getting up to pour myself that 3rd drink.....)

23

At last!

by leddfootdja in

i registered 2 months ago but never received the email with a password.

i thought the admin had something against me!.

anyway, male 28 y/o ex-jw as of 7 years ago from the sterling heights(detroit), mi area.

lost_and_searching

From another "Newbie".....Big Hugs of WELCOME!!!

Speaking for myself, I just wish I had found this place sooner! This is the first time in my life I haven't felt alone concerning my feelings towards JWs. (I was born into the org 42 years ago, but made my escape when I married my wild Catholic husband 22 years ago.) My parents and sister still have not given up hope that I will return to the fold someday. But even as a child and teen, I knew the JWs were NOT for me. Since I always held back from being baptised, the society couldn't DF me when I slowly left. Which has really helped me to be able to stay close to my family since there is no need to shun me.

Anyway, this group has been such a source of joy and comfort to me. I come here daily to read messages...at times I have even posted questions that I had been needing answers to. NEVER have I felt that there wasn't someone "out there" listening to me...and sending me their support. I hope you find it as great as I have. (I am here now just to get inspired enough to go to Memorial tonight. I only do it to please my 79 year old mother, and it is getting harder every year. You know, if it wouldn't give my mom a heart attack, I would just take a big gulp from that 'ol goblet of wine!!! LOL! )

Now, I just can't wait for the "powers that be" to get the function fixed that will allow me to add a picture and more info to my profile!!! It sounds like fun! And, I want to get involved, too!!!

Happy Easter to all! ~Bobbi (who happily celebrates all the bunnies and eggs of the Pagan Fertility Season. heeheehee)

4

John's "Revelation" on a Greek Island...doing good drugs?

by lost_and_searching in

hey everyone.....first, let me say thanks to everyone for answering my past questions (cross vs. stake, etc.

) i have gotten the best answers from all of you wonderful people!!!!

as for my current question, the doctor i work for was raised mormon (and thinks about as highly of that organization as i do of the jws.

lost_and_searching

Hey everyone.....first, let me say THANKS to everyone for answering my past questions (cross vs. stake, etc.) I have gotten the BEST answers from all of you wonderful people!!!!!

As for my current question, the doctor I work for was raised Mormon (and thinks about as highly of that organization as I do of the JWs. LOL) He is going on a cruise through the Greek Islands next week and would love some info before he goes. It is said that the "Apostle Paul" wrote the book of Revelation while on a specific Greek Island (Patmos). But my boss and I have both heard stories that there is something special about this island, as it is the only place where a specific hallucinogenic plant grows wild. (Which would certainly explain those "wild dreams" LOL).

Has anyone else ever heard of this theory? And if so, does anyone have the name of the plant or any more info? Maybe a site where I can find more information before he goes on his trip?

Thanks for any help! ~Bobbi (who in honor of being raised JW, makes her adult birthday celebrations last an entire week!!! LOL)

11

Easter is coming...so what IS up with Cross vs. Stake?

by lost_and_searching in

jw
friends

i was raised jw.

yeah!!!!!!

) and my parents and only sibling (sister-15 years older than me) are still strong in the organization.

lost_and_searching

I was raised JW. I'm almost 42 (Birthday-April 8th!!!! YEAH!!!!!!) and my parents and only sibling (sister-15 years older than me) are still strong in the organization. There was always one question I wanted to ask.....but was afraid to. You know....afraid because I just didn't want to subject myself to the L-O-N-G lecture that would follow my question. :o)

Anyway, where in the heck do the JWs come up with the idea that is was a Stake and not a Cross that Christ was crucified on? I have been asked so many times by other people (knowing that my ignorant-self was raised JW) where does the idea of the "Stake vs. Cross" come from? Where does the Society get this stuff???? I remember a bit from my youth....I was told that the Romans weren't even using the cross at that time, it was a straight stake, but I would love to find out WHERE to find this out for myself. Go figure........I think it would be cool to prove to myself that family is wrong on this point. (yeah, I know they are wrong on LOTS of points, but let's not go there right now. LOL)

Thanks in advance for everyone's input! ~Bobbi

26

Memoral time kids...... anyone going?

by Pepper in

i don't about you all but being raised a jehovah's witness was so ingrained in me that going to the memoral seems the right thing to do at this time of the year.

so i for one will do it for no other reason other than i was trained that way, and of course i like the song they sing its touching and i am a big sinner lord have mercey!

pepper

lost_and_searching

Yep....unfortunately, I will be going. I suppose it is the ONE thing I can still do to bring a smile to my parents' faces. They are both 79 and it just means so damn much to them to have me sitting beside them this one time of the year. (Believe me, "wild horses" couldn't get me to any other meeting during the year.) But, in my 42 years of age, I have never missed a Memorial and while my children have been raised as "heathens" (according to some), they will be sitting in the row next to me, also. They do it out of respect for their grandparents and as a way to give me some moral support, too.

I sure do have to laugh at the faces of the congregation members. The old ones (and they are dying off really fast) who remember me as a child, hug me and tell me to get back to meetings, but the others just shun me and look away. I think they are afraid to talk to me because I might be disfellowshipped or something. (I'm not.....you have to get baptised in order to be DF'd. LOL Thank goodness, I always figured a way to get out of that one. LOL)

So I will sit next to my mother on April 16 in our local KH and wish I was at home with my Catholic-raised husband drinking an ice cold beer and looking at the sunset out the window. Oh well, it is only one hour out of a year, right?

Hugs, ~Bobbi

lost_and_searching

Posts by lost_and_searching