Hi cofty!
Very early in my childhood I had come to believe we stem from more primitive forms of life and all had evolved by mere chance and necessity (J. Monod). I ridiculed ideas like T. de Jardin's of a universe evolving through God's word to a state he termed cosmic Christ. I considered it utterly foolish and narrow minded catholicism. I disliked and despised what I saw and heared this man named Christ supposedly was about.
I was not a happy child or youth but certainly felt I was happier and much more free than if I tried to be religious after human fashion. I still thi k so. When I came (as a young man) to read Paul and John and Moses and Koheleth it was surprise and revelation to me. These men were not the fools I had thought they had been. I have come to trust there is a just and mighty God. I still feel fear but would feel even more if I tried to deny the hope and perspective that my life has gotten. I am still less than most other people I know. I can not see, though, how returning to what I believed formerly (i.e. nothing really) would help in my case. However, I believe even a stubborn atheist (in the face of foolish religion) is closer to God in his being true to his inner heart and towards his fellow humans than many of the most religious who are liars and deceived by the thought of their own greatness.
Regarding the antiquity of humankind my trust in the concepts of much early history and dating is little. I am no witness. Historians and Biologists aren't either.