i have been df for a nummber of years now and have recently been doing research via the web for the past few weeks.
mostly because my new husband has been also doing his own research because i have been saying for years i want to go back, but never have and he had questions about the religion that he didnt understand.
the only time i ever go to the hall is for the memorial.
Welcome Walker.
You have a child. Do you really want to bring your child up with being scared of GOD KILLING him/her?
You go back.... so does your child. Are you willing to disown your child when they do research themselves and know how "untruth" it is.
Turn your back on your child because they dug deeper than you decided YOU wanted to.
i'm a born again christian, friends with dawn and was studying to be a pastor.
my brothers starting to become a jw and i'm looking for information to help me out.
STOP HIM!
all the advice i know.
because you can make jokes and appear "happy" at the drop of a hat, meanwhile, you're being chewed up from the inside out.
because you can't learn to take one day at a time because your good days are always overshadowed by knowing that you're going to just slip back down again.
it's inevitable.
Shamus -
I joined the site you recommended. It is fantastic!!! Deborah seems to be a wonderful person!!!! She has personally emailed me several times.
I have found other parents going thru the same "helplessness" as I have. Thank you again for caring enough to give me insight on the forum you showed me.
You are a thoughful and wonderful person for helping me.
Faithfully yours,
deborah
i,m new to the site, my friend mouthy and i have knowen each for 37 years we lived in montreal ,now in ontario.i was a weak jw and she was sent to me to make me a strong one,i don,t know that it work, but we are good friends.and she is still helping me ,to get on this line.
i met some of you last week end at swiss chalet,hi gang.
Welcome Blue Eyes!!!
just wondering how it is that ordinary folk tend not think of jw's as a cult like, say, the moonies.
consider what it is that makes ex's so virulently opposed to the watchtower society that joe public doesn't even know about.
i'm talking about disfellowshipping and disassociation here, the way in which families are split, loved one's abandoned and friends made into enemies.
You are absolutely correct in my experience with asking others what they know about JW's. I just received a very lengthy email from a very dear friend, whose only association with JW's was a friend he went to school with and with me (we met in college). He has been reading a lot on Social Psychology and was analyzing me regarding my "obsession" with being a JW and not being able to completely let it go. (Tell my mom & family - I will never go back).
We have been friends for many years; this is the first time he didn't give the same redudant answers to my raves, typical non-JW answers of someone that is "trying to understand". It is like a light bulb clicked on in his mind about what I have been talking to him about for so long. This was the first time he referred to it as a cult, comparing it to remarkable control Jim Jones had over the belivers that were part of the Jonestown massacre.
A portion of his email to me:
...one of the biggest struggles you will ever have, putting that crap behind you, is removing the hook that was set to the bone by your parents. You brain associates that religion and its belief with your parents. The same folks that gave you like and raised you and loved you for all that time. In the deepest parts of your brain, you associate disowning that religion with disowning them......
What father or mother would put ANYTHING over the love for their children? What father or mother would ever allow a single hair to be harmed on their child?s head?
I'm not suggesting that they don't love you, but they are putting that cult ahead of their love for you and that is F...ED UP! period! no way other than that to look at it.
What makes it so painful is that you probably do what I and every other person on the face of the planet does. No matter how good or bad or down right evil a persons parents may be, we, as kids, will spend the rest of our lives seeking their approval.
An opinion of an outsider looking in at JW's. Once they get past the holiday and bood issues.
andy has joined jwd .
i thought i would introduce him to you.
his nickname is shaft.
Welcome Andy!!!
Join the land of the living.
because you can make jokes and appear "happy" at the drop of a hat, meanwhile, you're being chewed up from the inside out.
because you can't learn to take one day at a time because your good days are always overshadowed by knowing that you're going to just slip back down again.
it's inevitable.
KJ -
I don't know how old your brother is but I have the book "The Bipolar Child" author: Demitri Papolos, MD & Janice Papolos. It has help me in understanding what bi-polar is and how it mentally affects a person. Learning about the actual functioning of 'my sons brain' has helped me in learning how to deal with his behavior. You and your mom & dad may want to read it.
PM me if you would like. I have been going thru this in a large way for the past 1 1/2 years when it manifested into being out of control. I may not be able to help, but i know how to listen.
take care,
deborah
yes for some reason this morning on my way home from the sleep clinic, did i realize that with in an hour we were going to be at deaths door.
after arriving home this morning at 6:30 i was greeted by my husband ready to go out to the resturant for breakfast.
i needed first to bathe and wash my hair of the sticky glue they use at the clinic to hold the electrodes in place.
Thank God you are OK; you and the bus load of children.
because you can make jokes and appear "happy" at the drop of a hat, meanwhile, you're being chewed up from the inside out.
because you can't learn to take one day at a time because your good days are always overshadowed by knowing that you're going to just slip back down again.
it's inevitable.
Shamus - if you only knew how may hours i have tried to find a site to talk with others about this. Thank you so much for the site information.
I know that i may never understand "why"; but i be damned if I will ever give up on him like so many others have.
I try to never say "i understand" and to give advice; I am so tired of all the "perfect families" around me telling me "if I would only do this... or that....." it would "set him straight" and I hope to never be this way to others. I can only give you (((shamus)))) and wish you the joy and peace you so richly deserve.
love
deborah
because you can make jokes and appear "happy" at the drop of a hat, meanwhile, you're being chewed up from the inside out.
because you can't learn to take one day at a time because your good days are always overshadowed by knowing that you're going to just slip back down again.
it's inevitable.
Flower -
You have made a major step in knowing that it takes what is inside (and with help from others) to subside your state of mind.
I have seen it in my son, fighting so hard - knowing what he "should do". sometimes winning; sometimes losing.
You have faith in yourself, but are able to seek outside help as well. I hope my son is an intutive as you when he decides to face this himself.
May peace of mind and hope and dreams be with you,
Love,
deborah
