Posts by Liveandlearn

41

Looking for advice

by Liveandlearn in

jw
friends

hello, i've finally been approved here so it's time for my first post.

i got disfellowshipped a few months ago as i was unrepentant in my judicial.

i'd lived with a situtation for a long time.

Liveandlearn

I've lied my entire life. does lying a bit more matter? not really.

No theres no urgency. there's enough time to wait a few years, but i don't want an accident to happen and for me to be shunned at a funeral or not be able to go to a hospital. my dad's got failing health although its not urgent but when he flairs up he can deteriorate in a matter of hours.

ABiblestudent, you're right. I'll give the guy a look

jgnat..... thanks for this. i forgot about reporting and the formality, hours on reports for this and that.

Fading seems like the best option. I dont care about attending the odd meeting once every few months so even if my parents are strict i'll do the barest minimum to stay under the radar. xmas and birthdays aren't an issuelike visiting the doctor right? I've learnt i still feel the urge to get things done quickly, like I can't get the imminent end of the world out of my head

92

Young man walks out of Glasgow convention and commits suicide

by jambon1 in

jw
friends

last weekend.

so unbelievably sad.

rip.

Liveandlearn

I could do the same, walk around the convention talking to people but never feeling part of their lives. now being out its because friendship depends on you living up to THIER standards. nonJW friends are there for you no matter hpw many times you f**k up or even if you're doing things that they don't agree with. friends in the organisation are only friends if you're at the meetings, underlining your wt, answering up, reading the bible, out knocking, being perfect..... hell, i had friends who wouldn't speak to me because they didn't agree with my car choice. it's all about them, god forbit you stumble someone by wearing a brightly coloured shirt and tie or skirt just over the knee

i'll never forget how lonely i felt at conventions especially as a teen newly baptised.i didn't feel warmth until i realised that nonJWs will look out for you no matter what

41

Looking for advice

by Liveandlearn in

jw
friends

hello, i've finally been approved here so it's time for my first post.

i got disfellowshipped a few months ago as i was unrepentant in my judicial.

i'd lived with a situtation for a long time.

Liveandlearn

As mentioned in the title I'm looking for advice. with respect I don't have to justify myself for anyone nor have my current relationship questioned, I'm looking for people who may have been in a similar situation who can help me work out the process of how to do things. I've been lied to a good portion of my life, have seen hypocrisy in people dodging taxes then answering up about cesars things to cesar. If i get back in then maybe I can subtly open a few people's eyes to what's going on around them. but that's by the by. My motivation is for my parents

My partner's and family all know about my past and present (although they are all staunch athiests and won't ever be able to understand religion in any sense) and is happy for me to do what it takes to get back in for my parents sake. They're happy to support in any way possible, regardless of the short term pain. We're confident in our relationship but it's new, we're building a relationship and I don't want to get rush married to tick a box for the elders. Love and commitment would be nice but its seeming impossible

whichever way happens it seems I lose.

41

Looking for advice

by Liveandlearn in

jw
friends

hello, i've finally been approved here so it's time for my first post.

i got disfellowshipped a few months ago as i was unrepentant in my judicial.

i'd lived with a situtation for a long time.

Liveandlearn

It's insane laverite. Had they had brotherly affection for the weak and those who've fallen an supported them I wouldn't be in here reading up about the building sales and other interesting facts. Shunning isn't to help sick ones back. It's to hold their family ransom. I absolutely feel no guilt and will get back in by whatever means Necessary. I feel so much pity for the ones who think they're actually doing th rights thing by following their rules to the letter

41

Looking for advice

by Liveandlearn in

jw
friends

hello, i've finally been approved here so it's time for my first post.

i got disfellowshipped a few months ago as i was unrepentant in my judicial.

i'd lived with a situtation for a long time.

Liveandlearn

I've just read the disfellowshipped talk at the assembly. It's bribery. NO mention was made of returning for god but that they want to be part of the family. so I don't feel guilty about my plan now. They use shunning ast a way to up their member count and they fully know people come back because if it. at least the average hrs in the cong will go down when I'm back

41

Looking for advice

by Liveandlearn in

jw
friends

hello, i've finally been approved here so it's time for my first post.

i got disfellowshipped a few months ago as i was unrepentant in my judicial.

i'd lived with a situtation for a long time.

Liveandlearn

Thanks for all your comments. The guilt isn't about the society. As I say, I'm happy to believe what I believe. Whether they're right or wrong is of no consequencen. The guilt is the hurt I've caused everyone I've known over the last decade in particular my parents. A f2f is impossible, they won't entertain even a phone call. They've made it clear. Good for them for sticking to their morals. I admire that and maybe if I had their faith I wouldn't be in this situation. Nor could I destroy their faith for my own selfish means. If they're happy believing what they believe then at least they have some happiness despite my disappointments. Ignorance is bliss in some situations and I'm happy to play long one last time Jwdughter your warning hasn't gone unnoticed. Thank you Patient my parents are far too involved. They've thrown themselves into it even further as their reliance and distraction I would say Lisa I was wondering about this perhaps I could move out and be reinstated. Is someone with a worldly partner ever going to be reinstated though? I wouldnt think so Thanks for all the love and wishes. Says alot when people who say they're a friend won't even help out when they're needed. They're quick to judge and not open to listen

41

Looking for advice

by Liveandlearn in

jw
friends

hello, i've finally been approved here so it's time for my first post.

i got disfellowshipped a few months ago as i was unrepentant in my judicial.

i'd lived with a situtation for a long time.

Liveandlearn

they are completely shunning me, even texts asking for their meeting times went ignored. They say they have to do things gods way and by his arrangement. it breaks my heart seeing how they're following this to the letter. they use the 'not even greeting' logic, which i understand

I just want to stop this guilt. i don't care about super strict people crossing the street when they see me, if that makes them happy i'm not going to care. I do care about my parents and i know from speaking to less strict people theyre in tears at the meeting

i've had a scan here and seen something called fading. What is that?

I havent spoken to any elders about coming back, the coordinator has seen me on the back row a few times and smiled and i know some have spotted me in the audience. Am i suposed to speak to them about this so they know my intentions?

41

Looking for advice

by Liveandlearn in

jw
friends

hello, i've finally been approved here so it's time for my first post.

i got disfellowshipped a few months ago as i was unrepentant in my judicial.

i'd lived with a situtation for a long time.

Liveandlearn

laverite, I appreciate the honesty. I am young and I know i have a lot of growing up to do. I just find the injustice of it wrong and hard to swallow. The only thing I'm doing different now to a year ago is living with someone

41

Looking for advice

by Liveandlearn in

jw
friends

hello, i've finally been approved here so it's time for my first post.

i got disfellowshipped a few months ago as i was unrepentant in my judicial.

i'd lived with a situtation for a long time.

Liveandlearn

nugget, I am, although my partner comes from a similar background and is happy to do whatever's needed

laverite, I feel like that's how i've liven my entire life and that's quite sad but with elderly parents, and seeing them hurt i can't win. I either live my life how I want and break thier hearts and live with that guilt every day, or do what i have to do to make them happy for as long as they're alive. I'm out of a situation that was making me not want to live, being disfellowshipped served that purpose

41

Looking for advice

by Liveandlearn in

jw
friends

hello, i've finally been approved here so it's time for my first post.

i got disfellowshipped a few months ago as i was unrepentant in my judicial.

i'd lived with a situtation for a long time.

Liveandlearn

thanks for your replies, can't believe i forgot this bit! I was in arush writing this! I was married, now divorced. I wanted a way out from that as the elders didn't seem to think we should seperate. It was the only way to be free. I want to see my family again, but I don't want to be bound by their rules. I stayed in the truth for every else's sake but mine. now i want back in to speak to my parents, brother and sister an I'm happy to jump through hoops if that's what it means

I broke the rules, I got culled. But i know loads more who did the same as me but don't tell anyone. why should I be punished when they can get on doing the same without recompense?