I absolutely love this movie. Accurate & I thought fair to JW’s. They’re not necessarily bad people, just deluded. My only complaint was the title: no way to get any JW to consider watching. Maybe that is the authors intent though, the movie was not for them, it is for us.
Posts by Anne
-
16Apostasy
by frozen2018 inhas anyone seen the 2017 movie apostasy?
set in britain, the story is about a family, a single mom and her two daughters, who are jehovah's witnesses.
i'm not going to give away too much of the plot, but holy moly!
-
-
-
5
Trying to forget
by Anne inok, right or wrong, i’ve attempted to ignore all jw related “stuff” in my life.
i fired my mom many years ago from babysitting for violating the no proselytizing to my kids rule.
shortened version of long story: i paid her for childcare (fair, going rate), super witness!
-
-
Anne
Ok, right or wrong, I’ve attempted to ignore all JW related “stuff” in my life. I fired my mom many years ago from babysitting for violating the no proselytizing to my kids rule. Shortened version of long story: I PAID her for childcare (fair, going rate), Super Witness! Brother visits (no kids, bitch JW wife- hates kids/ vs aunt who is biter she chose not to have kids because the end was sooo near). My not-so-bright parents decided to go Uber Witness & shun me for show & then Witness to my then school aged children. My tattle-tale children promptly told me how they didn’t like dear uncle & aunty, then how “weird” g-pa & g-ma were acting. After discussing with the g-ma & confirming attempted bible study with awful yellow Bible Story book of which nightmares come from, alternative childcare arrangements were made. “The golden child who went to bethel & is now married to a JW princess” went home. I then made a point of telling the grandparents I wanted them to have a relationship with their grandchildren. But... no proselytizing, because I know what I’m talking about when I say I don’t want that crap swimming around in their heads. I’ve never minced words.
I should have known how THAT would end. My parents somehow turned that around to I wasn’t allowing them to see their grandchildren. Wow, just wow! In my head, I’ve always wondered if it had more to to with my taking away my mom’s cush grandchild babysitting gig.
Fast forward a few years & their only other grandchild is living with us while going to college (niece/ my sister is DF since she was 16 for smoking of all dumb things to be DF for). My insane parents are full court press trying to get to know the niece (living in my house), while avoiding contact with my now teenage children. The niece is gay & she has grown up not liking how they treated her mom. My boys just think my parents are “crazy”. Yep. The de facto shunning is obnoxious, but is the best witness proofing.
So that has been the status quo for a few years. I’m ok with that, emotional blackmail doesn’t work on those who refuse to go on guilt trips.
So, why am I posting? Last week I ran into someone who remembered me from my wedding 20+ years ago at the KH hall. (Still married, I got lucky when he found me). I didn’t remember her, but she left the JW by choice too. Exchanged stories, she’s doing well.
The problem is, now I’m thinking about people I used to know & wondering how they are. I don’t want to go down a rabbit hole. It’s taken me time get over being a JW & I don’t want to stir up that process again.
Thank you to anyone who read the above rant- sometimes just getting it out is the best therapy!
-
65
I walked out of an Elder's Meeting
by AlmightyDog inwell here goes... i apologize in advance if this turns into a long and disjointed rant, but i just have to begin typing in order to keep from exploding.
i realize that what im about to say could seriously jeopardize my anonymity, but i think ive reached the point that i just dont care.
i want this to be over.. let me explain what caused me to rip up a letter and get up and walk out in the middle of an elders meeting two weekends ago.. our boe has been embroiled in a nasty fight for the past 2 years over a certain brothers business dealings.
-
-
Anne
Almight Dog, I'm sorry for what you are going through right now. I have to agree with the others that you have the perfect excuse to resign as an elder "deleted". I'd take it and run with it
I obviously don't know your wife, but I think I may know her type... Raised as a Witness to believe the most important thing is to marry a "spiritual brother". She has her version of the perfect JW life. As an elder's wife and elder's daughter she has a certain amount of status, akin to a woman who is married to a CEO in the real world. If you take away that status or identity and want to stay married, you need to replace it with something else, or else she will resent you for it. The people in the congregation will treat her differently if your not a member of their elite anymore. That may be a way to start her thinking. I think that if your still nominally a JW it will be easier to gradually get your family out and open her eyes, versus making you the enemy.
If she's not a "deep thinker" JW, study won't have much impact. She sounds more like a "social" JW. My mom is a social JW, I don't think she really cares about doctrine. She's just in it because my dad, some of her children, and all her friends are there. Arguing doctrine would get me NOWHERE with her, because that's not what makes her tick.
Not that your looking for advise... but if she has ANY interests outside of the JW's I'd start cultivating them. Get her to think outside of the JW world. If you can, figure out a way to have her make friends with people on the outside.
-
34
Question for Billy The Ex-Bethelite and others who had forgone college sometime ago.
by garyneal ini was talking with my wife today about college and i asked her about why the society makes such a big deal about witnesses not going to college.
in typical dub fashion, my wife tells me that they do not discourage college, but they do not encourage it either.
instead, they encourage placing kingdom interests first.. now i told her about you (billy) and how you were at bethel and are now starting college at the age of 40 (i think that is correct).
-
-
Anne
I think it was 1992 when they had an article come out that relaxed their stand on higher education. I was in my late teens and took that as license to go, waving that article at anyone who dared say anything.
A few years later when they backpedaled and became more anti-education I found it ironic that a C.O. tried to recruit my also college educated hubby and myself because of our degrees for Bethel. (We weren't even making half the meetings at that point!)
They don't want born-ins to learn critical thinking skills. Once you learn how to think you look around and realize what a load it is. In some ways they are right, an education does have an influence on people leaving the JWs. They are just not being honest as to the why.
-
8
Grr!
by doublelife inmy mil just left.
she came over to discuss why i don't want to go to meetings anymore.
i didn't go into too much detail but every time i would say something she kept responding with circular reasoning.
-
-
Anne
Grr!! is right. Your mother-in-law probably means well, as all the truly deceived do. She just wants you to be the perfect little JW wifey to her son so she can brag to all those in her social group how happy and "spiritual" the two of you are. She probably thinks she failed as a mother because she didn't indoctrinate her son well enough to choose a wife who would stay in the truth (lie).
It sounds like your husband backed you up. That really has her scared.
-
42
Well my "winter' yard decorations have caught the Elders attention !!!!!
by troubled mind inwow i guess the elders still do exisist !
i wasn't sure since they have only stopped by once in the last almost four yrs.. here is what has them all in a tissy........ i guess the lighted deer and lights on the railing screams christmas .....i was going for cheerful winter ,guess i overshot.. .
here is how the conversation went :.
-
-
Anne
Troubled Mind, your interaction made me laugh!! That's good, you didn't answer their question. I bet they were steaming in their boots.
We had a couple of elders come by before Halloween. I had a fall type wreath on the door and pumpkins on the steps. Not one word about them to my hubby. They asked him if they could help us "come back" and that "no one would throw stones". Hubby kept repeating, "if we need anything from you, we'll contact you". They finished up by asking if they could come back latter when Anne was home. (I thought THE MAN was head of house in JW land.)
Anyway.. it's probably a good thing I wasn't there. I may have asked them, "Do you want a pumpkin?"
Don't really care if they drive by and see our big Christmas tree in the window and lights.
-
28
To tell my parents or not to tell my parents...unfortunately that is a question
by feenx ini could use some perspective on something i'm struggling with.
first off, a little background info.
i am an only child and my parents, in addition to quite difficult circumstances we've all experienced, both personally and as a family while i was growing up, remain devout.
-
-
Anne
Everyone's family is different...., but if I was in your situation I'd put the announcement in the newspaper. I'd mention your fiance's parents in the announcement, but not yours. If you have any non-Witness aunts, uncles, cousins, etc, I'd let them know what was going on. I'd give the "worldly" family members "important" roles in the wedding. J.W.'s like to feel persecuted, I'd let them feel it. Same thing with the grandkids... put the announcement in the local newspaper and tell any relatives.
The problem with being the bigger person and letting them have a relationship on "their" terms, is you leave yourself (spouse and children) open for further manipulation. If they want a relationship, let them come to you since they are the ones who are doing the shunning. Then you can set the terms for the relationship. If they choose their cult over their child, you don't want them around your children.
It hurts to be rejected by those who are supposed to love and accept you unconditionally. Turn it around and make it thier loss. Your forming your own family.
Live your life, be happy.
-
71
ex wants to be free to remarry - ugh
by No Apologies inok, i'm sure i am not the first one to be in this predicament but it sure is a headache, my jw ex called a few days ago, apparently she has met someone (they're not dating of course!
) and she wants to me to hand over the golden ticket.
she wants confirmation either in writing or verbally to a third party, that she is "scripturally free" to remarry.. i have managed for years now to avoid any judicial action and my jw family members still associate with me, but that all could come to a screeching halt if i give her what she wants.. the only bright side is she totally robbed me on the divorce; if she gets married i am at least off the hook for "spousal maintenance", that would mean potentially thousands of dollars in my pocket.... .
-
-
Anne
You live in the Midwest, all JW's are extra crazy here. If you don't give her what she wants she'll get a couple of "the brothers" to do a stakeout. (Most normal people would call it stalking.)
-
17
Has anyone had Lasik Surgery?
by homeschool ineverybody whose had it says great things except their night vision is a lil off.
i went walking this morning & saw a duck but i thought it was a gopher at first .
do you know of anybody whose had lasik & is happy or unhappy with the results?.
-
-
Anne
I had lasik about 8 years ago, definitely worth it for me. The first day after was rough if I remember right, then all was good. Do you work at a computer or anything like that? Some have trouble with glare from screens after. Pick an opthamologist that has done a lot of the procedure, and ask lots of questions. In particular ask his complication rate, and what type of complications. This is not something that you want to base your decision on the lowest bidder (just don't pick the cheapest, pick the best, it's your eyes!!)
I have a friend who the laser malfunctioned somehow and wound up with problems. It was a fluke. He still wears glasses, and can see. Nothing is foolproof.
-
29
Hello id like to intruduce myself
by Belly inive been lurking this site for quite a while but for some reason never could muster up the courage to post.. let me give a little background on my self.. i am 18 and male an still living with my parents.
i was baptised at 15 basically against my will (by cracking under the pressure) but only truly broke out of the drone like mindswhen i was 17. since then its been totall choas in my life all of it stemming from the orginization of course.
my parents are the defenition of brainwashed wittnesses, my father even belives he is anointed.. after i got baptised i suffered from intense deppression and with a little soul searching, after a year i realized that i need some time for my self.
-
-
Anne
Is there any Profession, Occupation or Trade that interests you? If so, do an online search and find out what the qualifications are.
Junior or Community colleges are usually easy to get into and reasonably priced.
I took correspondece high school (stupid!!, stupid!!, never let anyone do it). I started out at Tech/ Community College. I was scared at first, but it was the first step.
Yknot is right, there are loans and grants available . I remember sitting at my kitchen table paying bills one evening when a few friends stopped by (back when I was still trying to be a Witness). One of them spotted my payment book for my student loan and his eyes bugged out. I then showed him my last paystub. At the time I was making 2-2 and half times more than him, so my investment made sense. I'm not sure how true this is, but the rule I've been told is don't borrow more for your education than you will make in your first year on the job.