Good day Beaker,
I am so sorry to hear about the friction between you and your ex wife. DOES IT EVER STOP?
Whatever you decide to do, be sure to get yourself a copy of the booklet "Preparing for child custody cases." I ordered mine from Winess Inc. (Run by Dwane Magnani.) It was the best investment that I have ever made.
During my deposition (At the request of my ex) I felt like I was cheating on an exam. Every question that was asked by the jw lawyer, was in the book. I was very well prepared and we negotiated joint custody that same day. (She was always after sole custody)
She left seven years ago (My son was only six) and we are still at it today. I am sorry to tell you that (In most cases) they will never give up.
It is not in your best interest to be a nice guy. I did exactly that and suffered for it. They are not reasonable people at all. If I had to do it over again, I would certainly go for the jugular immediately. (Hind sight is always 20/20)
Today, my son is 13 years old and has been living with me for the past 18 months. I have an agreement that states that she is not to take him to the meetings (Or any other nonsense) unless he is willing to go. She still plays mind games with him. She has people that he liked calling him and putting him on the spot about attending. So far he has made me proud and has always refused.
I don't know what your beliefs are today, but I (Being a very nominal Catholic) had much success showing my son the Gospels. I found it so easy to refute any of the jw nonsense using the Bible. I also made sure that we celebrated every Holiday in a big way. I always stressed that with me he had a choice. We have a very open relationship and he can discuss any concerns without me blowing a fuse. (His mother is totally the opposite, its always her way or no way.)
I want to wish you all best in this very difficult situation. It is always so heartwrenching to hear about the breakup of families because of this sect.
If you need more info or support, please send me a pm.
Best regards,
68storm