Hi, I am brand new here. Just browsing so far though makes me think that I may be spending a lot of time with you guys. In searching for info I stumbled across this board because I have just run into a problem with the witnesses. I was brought up a witness, baptized, pioneered (didn't go to university), MS. Became disillusioned with the hypocrisy, the generation was the last straw for me. However I was married - unhappily - but had two lovely children. Thus my strategy was to drift away gradually unoticed. It is about seven years since I went door to door, about four since I went to a meeting and almost three since my wife and I split. We are now divorced and I am currently living with a wonderful understanding woman. I still see my children regularly, in fact they are upstairs sleeping as I type. My problem is this. About three months ago I got a call from an elder I barely know asking me to meet with them. I refused and refused to talk to him. This week I got a letter by registered mail inviting me to a judicial committee to discuss alleged adultery. When my wife and I broke up I told her that I would tell her when she had grounds for scriptural divorce as she did not at the time. This I did as I had seen too many poor witnesses unable to remarry. She told the elders, as I expected she would, but I told her that I would deny it to them if they ever confronted me with it. This was two and a half years ago! Now they are acting. It has taken me by surprise as I thought I was away. Ordinarily I would not care and just dissassociate myself but I don't want to risk losing my children when and if they are baptized. So I think I am going to attend and just deny it. Say that my girlfriend and I are just sharing accomodation and that nothing has ever happened. My question is how successful do you think this will be, or are there any other suggestions? Thanks Atlantic P.S. I will try to be briefer in all my subsequent posts.
Hi all and advice please
by Atlantic 23 Replies latest jw friends
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gypsywildone
I would write them back threatening legal action. I know some have done it successfully. Somebody will know. And welcome to the board. They really are sick, aren't they! Trying to drag you off to kangaroo court so they can try to get juicy details of your sex life.
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concerned mama
Welcome to the board, Atlantic. In the recent past, is a thread about how elders assume you are having sex if you are alone together at night. I don't think you have a hope, using that excuse. I think too many people will know what the truth is and you will be caught.
This is jgnat's thread for newbies.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/58215/863175/post.ashx#863175
There are lots of good links on it, to do your own research.
I would say that if you want to protect your kids from being baptized, that you make sure they learn all about the WT, and how it is completely illogical. Could you REFUSE legal permission for your minor children to be baptized till theyare adults, and that would give you time educate them? Amazing has a thread on freeing your family both on this forum somewhere, and on the www.freeminds.org site.
There are lots of others on this site who know so much more and can give you other suggestions.
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Thirdson
Atlantic,
There is a very good form letter you can use to reply to the elders. It follows the basis that they acknowledge who they represent and whether legal representation will be sort by them in the course of the inquiry. On such a basis the letter writer will also seek legal counsel and have the right to have legal representation and meetings with the elders.
It's enough to scare the Sh*t out of most elder bodies and they drop any idea of pursuing you.
I will try to the find a link unless some other poster quickly comes up with it.
Welcome to the board too.
3rd
Here you go try this link. I think there is a more form version of this but the idea can be gleaned from it.
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Sentinel
Personally, I don't feel that you owe a reply to "them". Just live your life like you have been. If and when your X-wife gets an attorney regarding support and custody issues, you can respond to any legal requirements as you desire.
Perhaps it might be better at this point if you keep your private affairs out of the hands of the borg members. This is truly between your X-wife and you. Obviously, you are not planning to "return" to the borg, and you are currently with someone else. This would obviously free her from any obligation. Usually if people get divorced, and move on to new partners, the ties are forever broken and the other mate would be free in JW eyes to move on.
If you don't give the borg the power, they have none. I wish you alll the best. This is obviously very emotional and involves little ones.
Glad you came here. You will find friends, support, love and compassion.
/<
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68storm
Hi Atlantic,.....Welcome to the board!
Having never been a witness, I can't understand why ex witnesses always ask this question. My reaction would be the legal threat, or better yet, the cheaper route of a good beating! IT IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS! My 13 year old's step father was trying to preach to him and me offering to feed him through a wood chipper did the trick. Thus far he clammed up.
I feel that your children's future is of much more importance. Do everything in your power to educate them about wts. I was married to one for 25 years and thank God out of four children, none are robotic. I understand that it is very difficult to open their minds if they were brought up as witnesses, but it has been done. I, for one, would not have the patience that some have, in order to accomplish this. I was fortunate to be in a position where my children always had the opposing view of things.
Please do not stand by and have them ruin their lives. You can research information on the web that is of great help in achieving this slowly and lovingly.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey.
68storm
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SLOAN
Thirdsome's advice is very good. It does scare the shit out of them and is USUALLY enough to get them off of your back. Then they are too afraid to DF you ; in most cases. Good Luck!!!!!!!
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Dismembered
Welcome;
Please read the link below for some "pointers" I'll do the same as he did if it ever happens to me!
Enjoy & read slow
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Mulan
Say that my girlfriend and I are just sharing accomodation and that nothing has ever happened.
That won't work, as another poster already said. There is the "appearance of immorality", is how they see it.
As for writing the letters, that others have suggested, I have yet to see one of those work. Our niece wrote one and it was disassociated at the next meeting afterwards. She had her lawyer help with it, after copying one from this board. Even though she stated it was not a disassociation letter, and threatened legal action if an announcement was made, they did it anyway.
They have all the cards, and all the rights, it seems. Religions CAN and DO have the right to shun members who break the rules. It's all part of what you agree to when are part of their world..
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Yerusalyim
I say send the letter threatening legal action if they harrass you....bring up the possibility of suing for alientation of affections if the kids should EVER shun you. DO NOT have ANYTHING to do with the JC.