Bruja-del-Sol

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Posts by Bruja-del-Sol

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  27

  What does freedom from The Watchtower look like in the life of a former JW?

  by JustMeNonJDub in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  thoughts?.

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  After I left every tuesday and thursday night I would think "aaaah so wonderful, I don't have to go to a meeting tonight". Every saturday morning I felt so free, because I didn't have to go out into field service and could stay in bed if I wanted to, and every sunday morning I was so happy that I didn't have to go to yet another meeting. Those thoughts and feelings lasted for over five years, and finally it became normal to live my life without the WTBTS.

  I think these feelings lasted that long, because of the huge amount of guilt I always felt when I didn't attend the meetings or field service when I was still a JW.

  Another thing that bothered me for quite a while was the fear of demons. The first nights after I left my ex-husband I heard noises and 'felt' things. I know now it was just my anxiety, 'cause I was soooo scared... I really believed demons were out there to 'get' me. I lived at a (non JW) friends house for a while and she wanted to watch the first Harry Potter movie... I managed to watch the first ten minutes or so and then couldn't handle my anxiety anymore, so I ran away to my bedroom, feeling very afraid because I thought the demons would come after me because of watching that movie! Took me some time to get over that and realise that nothing would happen to me, no demons, no Satan coming after me... it was only the lifelong programming by the WT, that when you're DF'd you're in the hands of Satan and I believed it.

  Now I am totally free of those fears. I even became a witch, something I was always fascinated by (even as a child) but I thought witches were evil and bad... until I met someone very nice who told me she was a witch. I couldn't believe it... she was just lovely! So I started reading lots of books about witchcraft, I wanted to know what it REALLY is, and found that it matched exactly with how I feel about things, about life. And then I found that there is a proper training to become a real white witch, so I did that and now I'm an initiated witch. Nothing Harry Potter like, just living in harmony with nature and using the forces and powers that nature provides us and the power of thought, which is the true magic.

  Being able to live this way and not caring about people liking it or not (my family hates me for it, they have no idea what I do or believe, but just the word 'witch' to them is like a red rag to a bull) is pure freedom to me. And having a husband that supports me in everything is the icing on the cake!
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  48

  What Was Your First Experience In Exposing Yourself To "Apostasy"?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as a young teenager, i would look at "apostate" books at the city library.

  i was always intrigued as to what was sooo bad and other than a few writings of some that seemed like they hated the witnesses, i would clandestinely look at literature, especially in "christian" bookstores.. it took years for me to finally disconnect.

  i will say that ray franz' books enlightened me the most!.

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  I got DF'd after I had left my husband, because he asked me to tell him if I slept with somebody. So when I did after a short while I was honest with him and told him, so he would be free to remarry. I only wanted my freedom back, never wanted to limit his life in any way. Within five minutes after I left his house, he called the elders. Five minutes after that they called me to ask me if it was true and of course I admitted it, that was my promise to my ex. So that was the start of my exit. Two weeks later I was DF'd, but still believed that in a way they had the 'Truth'... I figured that it all made sense, I overstepped the boundaries and got what I deserved and lost my family, friends, social life, everything in the blink of an eye.

  Three months later my ex told me the elders came to call on him, because they had seen me with our children, playful and laughing. They told him that was not appropriate, I was a danger to their spiritual health and he shouldn't allow them to see me for 'social contact' (our children stayed with their father after I left him, so they came to me every other weekend and whenever they wanted to be with me).

  He showed them the door. He was grateful for what I did for him, giving him his freedom by being kicked out for adultery, and told them that regardless of my beliefs or feelings towards him, Jehovah or the religion, I would ALWAYS remain the mother of our children and he would not allow anyone to try and come between our children and their mother. He never ever set 1 foot back in a Kingdom Hall again, he had doubts for years and as a couple we had heard stories like this, about elders trying to put a wedge between parents and children, and we always told everybody that those stories were lies, such thing never happened, JW's would never do that... yeah right! They do... and tried it with us, taking advantage (at least attempting to) of the hurt and pain of a man who had just been left by his wife. But he stood up against them. When he told me, he said it was mainly because of how I treated him after I left. I never asked for a lot of money, let him and the children keep our house, we owned a company together but I let him have it to be able to keep his income safe... all I wanted was my freedom, out of the marriage and away from the pressure of the religion.

  If I'd known beforehand that he would leave the cult himself within 3 months after I got DF'd and that he would have a 'wordly' girlfriend, I would have never done it the way I did! But at least I do have my freedom.

  Anyway, his encounter with the elders, about the children visiting me, and his leaving the JW's right after, was the trigger for me to start looking on the internet. And there I found lots of information about what's really going on there and that it's just a cult. It took me a year to understand it all, and a year after they DF'd me I went to the KH for the Memorial Service and gave them a long letter I wrote, which boiled down to the fact that I wanted them to stay away from my children, and that I would NEVER return to this cult. So practically I'm DF'd and DA'd
  
  Around that time I realised that I would die, just like anybody else... no 'destroying in Armageddon', just ordinary dying when my time comes...

  Well that's my 'apostasy'-story in a nutshell.
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  9

  Prayers

  by Rattigan350 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  when i read online forums about when someone dies or something bad happens, people comment saying "sending prayers".. i wonder, why, what for?

  prayers have not brought anyone back from the dead.

  have they healed anyone?

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  The effect of prayer has been scientifically proved: http://blogs.christianpost.com/biblical-spirituality/scientific-studies-on-prayer-does-prayer-really-work-13400/ (just searched in Google for 'scientific proof on prayer')

  And yes, you might have bought the things you eat, but 'someone' or 'something' has provided the source for anything and everything you own: I call it the Universe and Mother Earth, others call it God or Jehovah, or Nature. Everything we have comes from a natural source, wether it's herbs, food, plastic, you name it...

  Gratitude and Love have been proved to be the most powerful energies on earth. So why not say 'thank you' to Nature (or whatever you want to name the source), won't do you any harm. I say 'thanks' a lot, whenever I see or experience something that makes me feel happy or grateful, when I feel love for people or animals etc. It has made me feel a lot happier than the 'prayers' in the cult, which felt more like an obligation than something heartfelt.
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  29

  Hi

  by LucidChimp in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been lurking here for a year or two now (since i stumbled across ttatt and was stumbled by it), i even started an account some while back and asked a couple of questions.. but i never actually stood up and said hi... so hi, my name's jon and i'm a dubaholic.. .

  i was "born in" in the 80s - and grew up on a liquid diet of cheap suits and revelation book pictures (i mean really, group after group just staring at the pictures while not listening, i must have spent more time staring at those pictures than i have any work of art in my life, literally hours at each lurid picture).

  i "left" in my teens, but apparently lacking any kind of actual sense, returned to studying with a childhood friend from the congregation in my twenties (although i was never baptised, my entire small family were dubs, so i saw more witnesses than "worldly people" on a regular basis.. they love bombed my arse for years!)..

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  Hi LucidChimp, welcome aboard. I like your style
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  35

  Celebrate my first post of many :)

  by Mellow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi everyone, my name is mellow (some names have been changed) lol.

  as no doubt many of you were, i was born in.

  i am now in my mid 20s living in a jehovah's witness household.

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  Welcome Mellow, nice to have you here, this is a very comforting place with people who understand what you're dealing with.

  Sunny greetings from Southern Spain
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  41

  How many have read 'Crisis of Conscience'?

  by tornapart in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for me it was the book!

  it opened my eyes.

  i started it thinking it would just enlighten me about how the organisation works.

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  Yep, read it too. At that time I was learning about TTATT, about a year after I was DF'd. This book was what took away the last doubts and set my mind free of all the guilt I always felt because of the JW-beliefs. At first I felt like I had wasted 33 years of my life, but soon I was grateful that I was young enough to start a new life.

  What I liked about his way of writing is that he sticked to the facts, no hatred, no judgement, just his experience. Wonderful man, so sad he's no longer amongst us...
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  8

  Latest WT lesson typical example of why meetings are such downers

  by JimmyPage in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here's what i gathered from the most recent wt study: 1. all your problems are your own fault, or 2. the ones that aren't your fault are satan's fault.

  3. don't blame jehovah for anything, and 4. more importantly, never criticize the ones who claim to represent jehovah.. this is a typical meeting nowadays.

  there are all kinds of possibilities to emphasize positive qualities and experiences.

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  Haven't been to a meeting in 10 years, and I don't think I've missed out on anything. What a crap they're preaching...
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  4

  Why I can never escape abuse...part 2

  by KariOtt in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  she came home for a long weekend.

  since i was working 2 jobs and going to school mom wanted to keep my son all weekend so my sister could spend as much time with my son as possiable.

  durring the weekend my 2 year threw a temper tantrum.

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  What a story... don't know what to say... except that you're an incredibly strong woman! Thanks for sharing your story
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  48

  Proof of a Kingdom Hall being sold to a church!

  by Sittingstraight1212 in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  it cracks me up if you bring this subject up to a witness , they always try to convince themselves that i'm reading into this!!!.

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  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpqwknq31ie&feature=youtube_gdata_player.

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  The building we used about 25 years ago in my last congregation was no longer safe to be used as a KH... so they said. So plans were made to build a new hall... and then they sold the old hall... to a Baptist Church!!!

  Up until today it's still used as a church, so the whole 'it's not safe anymore' was a scheme to get us to approve and pay for a new hall.
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  47

  just when you think you've made friends with a "normal" person

  by Hortensia in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  rode over to the farmer's market with a couple of neighbors, nice women, seem sensible.

  the driver stopped in the middle of a block and stared at the coca-cola truck that was parked there.

  she said, "do you see the round tower?

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  Bruja-del-Sol

  Just live and let live... luckily we're not all the same and we can decide for ourselves what we want to believe and what not.

  I soooo love my freedom of thought!