It sounds like things are starting to get messy now. I am really sorry to hear friends are getting involved and being spiteful. But it shows this is not an org with loving members. It sounds like your hubby is stressed and suffering mentally, like it has been said, cognitive dissonance.
Take things one step at a time, think clearly and methodically, don't get nasty if he does, children know theses things. My divorce and custody has been horrific. He won in court, but as far as the kids sre concerned he is a fu57ing ass78le.
I wish you all the best
Kate xx