Hi ilikecheese,
So sorry to hear about your ordeal. I can understand the willingness to believe there is a place where our loved ones go. I believe and always have since I can remember is that once you're brain dead, there are no more thoughts left and no more existence.
I believe this as I have never spoken to a dead person who is in a happy place. I have never had any supernatural experiences.
I hope you can figure this out if you need to
Kate xx