cruzanheart -
The odds are overwhelmingly in your favor that your son is perfectly normal. I honestly don't mean to alarm anyone - I am going through this feeling "guilty" stage for not "tying together" Ian's asperger's behaviors, even when they were pointed out to me. I guess I feel it is my duty to help other parents be aware of it, (even if it does not apply to their child/children), because of the importance of early treatment. I really do wish I had been more open to his preschool teacher - instead of being angry with her for suggesting such a thing! I truly thought she was nuts when she suggested I look into it, because as far as I was concerned, he was really not all that different from other children his age. In fact, I attributed my son's "slightly different" behavior to his obvious intelligence (many Asperger's children have very high IQ's, and my son is one of them). In fact, just from watching Sesame Street, (and probably from books I read to him), he learned the letters of the alphabet and their sounds by the time he was two years old. By the time he entered preschool at three, he was reading - and we never taught him to do that. Whenever he would use very big words for a child his age (for example, when the school psychologist was doing his IQ test and asked him what a bird was, he replied "an oviperous noun." She had to look up "oviperous" to realize it meant an animal that flies) - I was proud of him for being so smart. When he went through a phase of intense interest in international landmarks, (especially the pyramids and the sphynx), other countries and their different flags and languages, again, I thought it was just because he was precocious, and so darn intelligent. Even when he could spend what seemed like forever expounding upon whatever intense interest he had going at any given time, I didn't realize that he was not recognizing my non-verbal cues of boredom - I just thought he talked too much. Yes, I could get him to change the subject, but within a few minutes, he would generally sluff off so he could be in his own world where it was okay to think and talk about whatever interest he was fixed on, or, he would find someone else to listen to him. He never really lectured any children his own age about other countries (for example), but he would bring it up with them as though it were normal for all 5- and 6-year-old children to be interested in that particular topic. Again, I didn't notice that he was not picking up on their non-verbal cues of boredom - or that he didn't sense the natural flow of a conversation - for example, when the other person wanted to speak - even though they were classic signs of autism/asperger's.
Although I noticed his lack of social skills, especially in regards to him telling other children what fantasy game they were playing, which character they were to play, and what they were to say and do, I thought it was because as an only child, he was accustomed to having things his way because he never needed to negotiate with other children. Even when he became downright belligerent with the other children if they didn't do things exactly the way he had them in his mind, I thought he was just being rude, and that we weren't working with him enough on how to be nice with other people (even though we discussed it a lot). When he would eventually retreat into his own world to play the game he was trying to get the other children to play by himself, I thought it was just because he preferred his own company. I didn't realize that he was exhibiting what is referred to as "rigidity". His inflexibility or ability to allow other children to have input in a fantasy game (or even to eat a hamburger for dinner when I'd told him I thought we'd go out for pizza) were all part of the bigger picture - called "Asperger's Syndrome."
As far as his slowly developing large motor skills (like running in a kind of immature way) and having difficulty learning to ride a bicycle with training wheels goes, I attributed that to the fact that my husband never really spent a lot of time in active play with him. In fact, at times I just thought he wasn't interested in riding a bike, or was just being too lazy (at seven, he still has not mastered riding a bike with training wheels!). I didn't realize these are also classic autistic/asperger's symptoms.
Even though I was aware he was different and that he exhibited some of the characteristics of autism/asperger's, I took note of the fact that my son did not have speech and/or stuttering problems, he didn't appear to be sensitive to touch, or didn't engage in ritualistic activites such as spinning, or knocking his head against a wall. Because he didn't exhibit any of these characteristics, I just KNEW his preschool teacher had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. What I didn't realize is that not every autistic or asperger's child has every single symptom, and of the symptoms they do dispay, each child will have varying degrees of that symptom. Now that I realize that, I feel extremely fortunate that my son only has a few asperger's characteristics, and the ones he does have are very mild. The prognosis is very good for him, thank God.
When faced with a diagnosis of Autism or Asperger's, Asperger's is definately the lesser of the two evils. It is also recognized later than Autism. Where as most autistic children are diagnosed by the time they are about 3, most asperger's children aren't diagnosed until about 6 or 7, or whenever they enter school. This was the case with Ian. His teacher was telling me that he was having trouble concentrating on his work, not completing assignments, cried easily, and was putting up a fuss when asked to move from one project to the next - even when he knew that he would have to. At first we thought it was ADD, especially since the screening that was done showed he was at-risk for it, but the ADD diagnosis only explained part of the symptoms. I insisted to the school that the other symptoms were due to his high intelligence, and to placate me, they gave him an IQ test. It was during the IQ test that the school psychologist became very suspicious of Asperger's. She also suspected he was depressed. This did not go over very well with me, as I wanted everything about my son to be normal. But further testing proved the diganosis to be correct, and although it may seem like the story ends here, it truly is just the beginning - in terms of getting my son the help that he needs. I feel encouraged that the Ritalin is helping, and so far the school district has been very cooperative, but most of the families I know with autistic/asperger's children have really had to fight for everything their child needs. I know that eventually I probably will have to also.
At any rate, when I read your first post, I felt obligated to ask you about these things, again, only because early intervention is so important. Even if your son does not have any disorder along the autistic spectrum, it would be worth it to me to share this in case another parent sees this and recognizes their own child in my story.
Thanks for listening,
D
