If You Could Write Articles For The Watchtower What Would The Titles Be?

minimus

If you had the power to print millions of Watchtowers & Awakes and YOU could see to it that the articles that you wrote got to all the readers, give a sampling of what the articles highlighting "spiritual food" would say.

maybesbabies

"Chocolate: The new spiritual food."

"Do you feel like Jehovah has abandoned you? Drink beer, it helps!"

"What to say to unbelievers: Right on!!"

mustang

For the WT: "Denial: Spiritual Food at it's Best".

And in the Awake: "The Ostrich: National Bird of Brooklyn's Finest Publishing Company".

Mustang

SanFranciscoJim

"God's Kingdom of a Thousand Years Has Passed - and You Missed It"

"The Preaching Work Is Complete - Door to Door Judgment to Commence"

"Apostate Literature - Getting the Best Out of It"

"The Wonders of the Internet"

"Same Sex Marriage - Is It For You?"

"The Seven-Headed, Ten-Horned Wild Smurf"

Big Tex

Minimus Injured in Skiing Accident

dmouse

'Drinking Straws - how safe are they?'

'Beware the voice of friends'

'Thinking - is it for you?'

'Down to our last six billion - God loves a cheerful giver!'

'Fun? - Forget it.'

'Listen up you slackers, EVERYONE can pioneer!'

'Gifts in men - how to wrap yours'

How the hell do you remove a picture once added?

(That's a real question BTW, not a Mag title!)

Gopher

"Love, compassion, understanding -- WHY missing among false Christians"

"Assisting others through hard times -- more important than prophesying"

"Tolerance and open-mindedness -- qualities to be emulated"

Sorry about the two-part titles separated by a dash.... I know that's very Watchtowerish!!

worldlygirl

"Edjucashun - Hoo Needs It?"

"Masturbation: It WILL Make You Go Blind, You Know"

"Family Headship - How To Keep Your Bitch In Line" (actually, this would just be in the secret elder's manual)

Swan

Keep in mind that these are very tongue in cheek:

Having the Godly View of Fax Machines

Those Amazing Australopithecines -- by the Awake correspondent in Ethiopia

Listening to the Great Plumber

Viagra -- Is It for Christians?

Broccoli -- God's Green Gift

Beware of Formidable Modern Day Apostates (Study Article)

Modern Day Apostates On the Move (Study Article)

Questions From Readers -- Why Did Noah Forget Velociraptors?

The King of the North and the King of the South Meet the Wicked Witch of the West (Deep Study Article)

The Scarecrow Meets the Great Wizard and Gets a Brain; Do You Have One? (Deep Study Article)

The U.N. -- Another Great Suck-up Article

Pedophiles -- Why Do We Protect Them? (Study Article)

Pedophiles -- What Have They Done For Us Lately? (Study Article)

Miracle Oatmeal -- God's Amazing Food

The Christian View of Clothes on Pets

Watchtower's 125th Anniversary -- Who Would Have Thunk It! (Study Article -- Special Anniversary Issue)

125 Years of Declaring the End is Coming Soon (Study Article -- Special Anniversary Issue)

The Biblical Definition of "Soon" (Deep Study Article -- Special Anniversary Issue)

Lot's Daughters -- Were They Really Sluts?

Onan -- Why He Maybe Had a Good Idea (Deep Study Article)

The Modern Day Onan Class Pulls Out (Deep Study Article)

Child Abuse Victims -- Do We Really Care?

Is the Song of Solomon Too Sexy for Christians?

Brothers -- Watch Your Gourds! (Deep Study Article)

Storing Up Treasures in the Great Gourd (Deep Study Article)

The Bible's View of Toe Rings

Those Amazing Armadillos

Getting a Life -- Is It for Christians?

minimus

VERY FUNNY--------Here's a few more...."Do You Pray For Your Elders And The Governing Body?"......"Faithful Men of Old-----Leo Greenlees"......" Ewart Chitty Loved The Brothers"....."Does Your Life Revolve Sex or "The Truth"?......"Young People Ask: Why Do I Get So Horny?"

If You Could Write Articles For The Watchtower What Would The Titles Be?

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