Everyone has their back story, and I really do feel that going to a memorial service, where *every single person, blood and otherwise* has shunned me since I was 20 years old, would be letting them re-offend me with their abuse. The last time, my grandfather's (maternal), it took me months to recover. And that wasn't in a KH, it was just the visitation at the funeral home. I was the ONLY ONE who visited Grampy at least 5 days a week in the nursing home. But I learned that night, to do my grieving alone.
Also, some parents don't deserve respect. Don't forget how many of us were sexually abused, and nothing was done. We have parents, parents who either knew, covered it up, or participated, so don't judge anyone if you have not walked a mile in his or her shoes.
I encourage anyone who is an Adult Survivor, either male or female, to search old content/threads for people's stories, and some really healing discussions. :))
So when y'all say 'of course', it makes me cringe. There is no 'of course' or so-called 'normal' behaviour in cults.
peace and love
**Edit: Grampy wasn't a JW, he liked Herbert W. Armstrong and the WWCOG, but he wanted to have a JW memorial service. He believed they had 'the Truth', but wouldn't give up tobacco. I miss you, Grampy!