In ancient cultures, and some today, banishment was considered worse than death. I guess it depends on your emotional strength (most born-ins are not raised to have healthy thinking patterns, etc.), so for many the banishment is very real and painful.
If you are one of the 'special' ones who also grew up in a physically and sexually abusive home, isolated from teachers, other children, etc., the injustice does feel 'great'.
In spite of that, healing is possible. A victim mentality never did anyone any good. Work towards good mental health, learn to love yourself and others, and you will realize that life is not a bowl of cherries, and everyone has pain, whether physical or psychic.
I'm pretty much over it, except when health issues get severe and one is 'all alone', it does get very rough and that's when the feelings of depression really kick in.
Everyone's journey is different. Some people may wish they *had* been killed. We all handle life's ups and downs in our own way - harder, and a bit scary at times, no matter how long it's been or how old you are, when there is no family to 'be there' for you..
