I don't think I'm going to tell her that I used to be an elder
Sounds like a JW woman, who *is* really smart and has a sense of humor and competitive fun (you can tell, you're smart and playing WWF with her). It sounds like a friendship ... the JW bragging - are you two exchanging banter? I could see that. She sounds like a nice woman who needs friends.
I think your gut is right. An exJW elder is not 'who you are'. It's part of it, sure, but you are YOU, and have always been. Just enjoy the friendship ftm, and she may be a person who you reveal TTATT to, or not. Hope you are well, Minimus. xx tal