Posts by FreeToBeMe

38

coolest thing about your old KH?

by Lostreality in

jw
friends

.

at my old hall, after the new sound system was installed, it would pick up am radio.. i have never known so much about the seattle mariners as i did in the 3 months it took them to find a fix for it.

FreeToBeMe

As Shera,

It no longer exists as a KH.... there were never enough 'recruits' in the area I lived to justify the 'investment' of building a purpose-built KH, so they rented a property. Having moved there because the BOrg decided "the need was greater", we discovered as others had done before us, and have done since, that the local population decided otherwise.... their spiritual needs were satisfied elsewhere. Those of us who moved there pre1975 have since moved away and the Community continues much as it did before our arrival, only now without the influx of other BOrg victims prepared to sacrifice homes, careers, savings, et al for a false prophecy, the rent cannot be met and the one-time KH now sells stationery.... I'm reminded of the BOrg's pointing to Churches becoming Bingo Halls as an indication that a lack of people to fill the churches meant the churches weren't preaching truth. Nuff said... at least with the old KH being a Stationers its customer can now get a 'staple diet'.

40

Did You Think That You Would Be In Paradise By 2004?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i never did.

i hoped it could be true but i never took any stock in dates....what about you?

?

FreeToBeMe

Fortunately I've missed the 2004 fiasco, albeit I was in the BOrg for the 1975 one.

I remember leaving East Anglia in '72 "to move where the need was greater". Our parting comments to the 'Congregation' were, "the next time we meet we'll be in The New System" i.e. Armageddon would be done and dusted and we would be in 'Paradise'. Well guys & gals I have some truly marvellous JW logic good news to impart to you... I have meet some of that old Cong since and my parents moved back to East Anglia nearly 20 years ago, I guess that means we are in Paradise!!!!!

I reserve comment (not), that this idea of Paradise in which the WTB&TS still holds mastery over its followers doesn't fit the description provided in pre-'75 litterature. If this is what was meant by a JW CONcept of 'Paradise' be it now, or at some airy-fairy time in the future, then as others have posted, I'd rather be dead. Gratefully such is not the case and, having abandoned JW rhetoric I have a sense of serenity (calmness amongst some madness) that rests easy with me today.

Mind you, now you mention 2004, I wonder if this year might prove to be a turning-point for the WTB&TS, I hear all is not well at Crooklyn. Not that I'm concerned for the Corporation... hmmm, best I stop now, I sense a ramble coming on.

19

Finally!!! Run in with JWs...

by Tashawaa in

i've lived here for about 1 1/2 years and haven't seen a single jw.

i read all the posts where there have been run-ins, people called on, elders talked to, etc.

and couldn't hardly wait for my turn.

FreeToBeMe

Way to go Tashawaa, and its a credit to you that you've been able to react in such a way so soon. I cannot claim to have been so benevolent and would angrily chase them down my path for years after I left. Now I'm courteous and simply reserve my comments to a "No thank you" I used to add "I'm not interested" but that provided then with a route in with "you're not interested in living forever in paradise" to which I replied at the time "Not your interpretation of it". That successfuly ended the exchange. The courteous route has benn very successful over the years and on only one occasion has it been challenged when an over enthusiastic older JW woman literally put her foot across the threshold as I was closing the door. I felt the old red mist rising but simply kept my comment to a "if you don't move your foot you'll be hurt." She moved, the door closed. I know there are those that engage the JWs in debate (if you can call it that), I find that pointless, all it seems to do is provide them with an opportunity to further reinforce their assumed rightness in their dogma and they become more entrenched. A waste of my time and energies which are better served in helping those who have seen the 'truth' of the JW BOrg, and are looking to escape. Not that I tell them what to do, I just encourage the process they've already begun, provide sources of information and let them decide for themselves on what way out to choose. I found your posting refreshing, it's nice to know that there are others who don't feel a need to 'witness to witnesses', thank you.

29

Donald Rumsfeld caption time,

by William Penwell in

.

"oh crap, am i in a lot of doggie doo doo.

FreeToBeMe

I left my teeth in downtown Basra

my butt in ol' Baghdad

30

Are you a blood donor?

by nicolaou in

so many of us on this forum have criticised the watchtower society for their obscene blood transfusion/fractions policies.

quite right too.. it begs the question though; what are you doing about blood now that you have a more tolerant and informed perspective?

it's a rhetorical question.

FreeToBeMe

I have donated blood and would accept the gift of such from another should it be deemed necessary. I'm only too aware of the 'official' line promoted by the JW BOrg., and it smacks of blatant hypocrisy to me... can't accept blood but can accept blood fractions made from donated blood, p-leeeeeeeease!!!! With regard to the medical profession's use of blood, my experience hasn't been of an over-reliance on this valuable resource. Whilst having chemo-therapy a few years back my blood count went haywire and it was thought I might need a blood transfusion. They tried everything they could to improve my blood count. As good fortune and their skills would have it, my blood quality did improve without the need for a transfusion. It has been my experience then, that blood will only be used as a last resort. Most of the medical profession are, imo, highly respectful of the gift they are furnished with... but then again, seeing as I am now a part of that profession I am somewhat biased.

29

Mental health issues

by YellowLab in

how many of you have experienced or are experiencing any mental health related issues?

were/are any of these issues related to you being a jw?

do you feel many dubs still in "the truth" have mental health issues but are afraid to seek treatment from a "worldly" psychologist or psychiatrist?.

FreeToBeMe

Like Frank, I too had therapy but not for a good while after I left the JW BOrg. When the BOrg and I first parted company I went it alone so to speak. I wasn't a great one for making friends and engaged in largely solitary pursuits, be it with reference to work or with regard to leisure activities. I was a loner. Having looked back over my past experiences I have come to realise that being a loner wasn't a natural course for me but, one that was imposed on me by the application of JW rules and dogma. Having been abandoned by BOrg membership (incl. family) prior to walking and then dealing with the subsequent rejection by them, simply because I didn't fit in with their self-centred doctrine, trust was an issue. If I couldn't trust BOrg membership and my parents, then who could I trust?

I made the erronous decision of thinking no-one, and remained as alone out of the BOrg as I was in it. 11 years ago that had to change, and so it did (13 years after I parted company with the BOrg.) It still amazes me how I lasted so long, in those early days there was truly nothing to draw support from. Anyway, paranoia, depression, anxiety and other emotional disorders associated (for me at least) with a life of isolation and a lack of trust had to be dealt with. I chose to avoid medication, and given some of the experiences I've heard others have had with regard to meds, I'm glad I chose as I did. All I can say is that therapy worked for me, albeit I'll accept it isn't everybody's cup-of-tea. I finally went with a therapist whose philosophy and practice was based upon a Humanistic approach, it worked for me. I'd tried a number of other therapeutic schools of thought (e.g. psychoanalysis, sociopsychology, jungian and adlerian therapy, hypnosis, aromatherapy and acupuncture) all to no avail. Mind you, given my life's experiences it's hardly surprising that a Humanistic approach was the one I settled for.

19

Losing Salvation

by ClassAvenger in

i witnessed to a jw and he accepted that salvation comes through faith only, and the works come later showing that you are a saved person.

but he continiously argues that salvation can be lost according to our behavior.

what do you all say about this?

FreeToBeMe

Being saved from the need for salvation (lol@myself) I can see an error commonly made by most who claim 'christianity' in regard to an opinion on faith. Faith is a concept and like other concepts of, for example, value, freedom and consciousness, is not open to the same empirical analysis and measurement attached to more tangible subjects, for example, distance. If one accepts that faith exists, then there is no rational need to measure it, or for that matter to ascribe a value to faith based upon how much effort is expounded (e.g. according to JW logic a JW pioneer has stronger faith than the JW crippled in bed with arthuritis.) In my opinion, the need to measure or otherwise quantify faith says more about the person who supports that view than the idea of faith itself. There also exists the problem of defining 'works' without which according to St.James 'faith is dead.' JW logic lends itself to defining works purely as observable behaviour recorded on time cards. I await the GB spies who peruse these forums reporting back to Brooklyn, and Brooklyn then redefining 'works' as the result of some 'new light.' Maybe they have done already; I've been away a while.

5

What can you do?

by bigboy in

does anyone know what you can do if you know of someone who was sexually abused and you have told the police and norris and love but nobody does anything?

i am almost at my wits end with this watchtower.

please help me deal!

FreeToBeMe

Have you considered what it is that the survivor of the abuse wants? You may rightly be appalled by what has occured, however what does the survivor want? If the survivor is beyond the age of majority (nominally 18 yrs) then the decision to pursue the matter through the appropriate legal channels is theirs. Sadly, most cases of childhood abuse do go unreported, but that's no reflection on the survivor.... ultimately (unless there are particularly extenuating circumstances), the survivor decides how they will deal with it, regardless of what other people think should be done.

40

Raised a JW... did you have a childhood?

by ignorance is strength in

personally i was quite serious at a young age.. there was no "boys will be boys" growing up.

personally i feel kind of cheated out of a childhood by an organization that forced you to think that "everything around you was going to be gone soon so you better grow up, start publishing, and giving talks.

" did any of you experience a less than stellar childhood, especially because of the lack of holidays and socially-isolating religion gowing up?

FreeToBeMe

Sure, just like everybody else in here I had a childhood. Like some in here it was also a JW childhood, with all the usual difficulties associated with being a part of an Organisation that in practice is highly critical of children and yet conversely, treats its membership as such.

Do I grieve the loss of my childhood? In a way I do, but what I am actually grieving is an illusion of how I would have liked it to have been. This illusion is based upon how I think other nonJW, or more libreal minded JW childhoods may have been, parties, friends, fun, freedom etc., etc., etc. The reality is somewhat different, as one previous poster has explicitly mentioned.... she knew the difference between chemotherapy and radiotherapy at a very young age, and watched as her mother died. Given the choice, I would rather contend with the abuse survived in my childhood. The reality is, at one level, it was a childhood, my childhood... it could have been better, it could have been worse, it was however simply my childhood. The fact I remember it means I did have one.

I may also grieve that I'm no longer a child, but that's a process that every adult person has to negotiate regardless of religious, political, philosophical ideals. Some negotiate this process well, some poorly, some like me reluctantly. Reality and illusion make strange bedfellows, however reality is difficult to accept at times, no problem... when it becomes painful I can indulge illusions and for a time allow myself to be the kid I would've liked to have been whilst getting on the floor and playing with my own children.

DID I have a childhood? That's not the question for me, it's more DO I have a childhood?. Simply yes. It's past is retained in my fallible memory and added to with present experiences.

48

Tiring of Anti-JW causes?

by ashitaka in

jw
friends

i'm kind of burnt out from being pissed off at jws.

tonight, while talking to a friend who left at the same time i did (several years ago), we both spoke of our apathy towards the whole anti-witness movement.

recently i helped in several anti-jw actions, and i thought i made a difference, although it was a pittens compared to others who have come before.

FreeToBeMe

Ashi,

I, like some others in this forum, have been out of the Org. for a long time (23 years). If I'd spent the last 23 years 'fighting' the Org... well I doubt that I would've survived emotionally. I'm not some great shining beacon, nor a disgruntled apostate on a mission to purge the world of JWs... though for a time I went through that period in my life too. I go about my life today extending kindness to those that wish what I have to offer. It appears to be paying dividends again, as it has done on numerous occasions previously... here's what happened last night

My brother rang...

He was df'd a while ago, I don't know why, though he mentioned something about being forced to make a decision having da'd himself. It seems he was 'pursued' and given the 'if you ain't for us you're against us' treatment. Anyway, in spite of that he has kept up weekly (at least) contact with our parents and had dutifully fulfilled a number a roles including being of considerable help with practical and manual tasks. As most of you appear to know, the rules regarding association with df'd family members had become a wee bit more relaxed. I add that in my case the rules were strict when I was df'd and have been strictly adhered to for the past 23 years, with a few exceptions (like when my expertise is required). As you may also be aware, following recent exposure of Org. policy, the strictness has been reapplied and reinforced as a 'closing ranks' strategy is employed. Now it seems that my father has had his driver's licence withdrawn. He's now too blind to drive. He asked my df'd brother to take him and my mother to a meeting, which he dutifully and happily did. On the way home he was told that Father had been 'reminded' of the association with df'd family members rule and therefore lifts would no longer be acceptable. My parents also added that they did not want my brother to call round again and that his help and company was unwelcome. My brother can be quite an angry guy. It seems that he is in a state of shock that renders anger futile. The poor kid is in considerable emotional pain. He's also lost and doesn't know which way to turn. I see it as him grieving the loss of his parents only they're still alive. One thing he is resolute about and that is NO JWs. We have been getting closer of late and I'm am delighted that he thought to ring me and sound off. One thing I see as very important is being able to use our past experiences as a way of helping others. He has food for thought... he also been provided with a means of treating our parents with kindness, as I believe that they are truly spiritually, emotionally, mentally (and as it happens diagnosed as physically)sick people. I'm also delighted to be able to 'be there' for my brother when he needed me. No recriminations, no judgements. Just support. He's unaware of the support that I have with me, and you guys are a valuable part of that support... thanx. I strongly suspect that if I'd still been the angry disfellowshipee that I was 23 years ago the last thing he would have done would be to contact me. When I ask myself why I continue as I do, plodding away getting on with my life, and why I spend the time I do in forums such as these... last night's phone call from my brother reminds me how worthwhile it is. I have a very full life today, I have a great life outside of the Org.,... and forums such as these are just one part on my full and meaningful life. I don't forget my past nor wish to close the door on it, if I forget then I might start to repeat past errors. I do however use my past (warts and all) as a way of helping others, I get out of me... and in the process I'm able to help (amongst one or two others) my brother. What a great life, and how powerful is the ability to be able to forgive. FreeToBeMe