good advice here bro.........listen to it. i was EXACTLY in your shoes 5 years ago............ what do you do?
you can go to the hall and find some drone............ and then eventually......... your conscience will NOT allow you to continue to PRETEND........ and where are you at then........ you have a wife who probably belives with all her heart and soul and cant think for herself......... so then you gotta plant seeds which will be ignored for YEARS........... unhappy unhappy unhappy........... screw that........
you can stay where your at ( i assume thats local to where the cult knows you ) find a non jw girl to date........... have it automaticly assumed that your haveing sex with her the first time you get to spend five minutes with her alone.......... get counciled/marked/reproved/DF'ed lose all friends and family (unless your especially lucky)
you can start prepareing yourself for a couple moves........ move an hour away or so....... change congs........ move another hour or so away....... change congs again......... BOTH of these moves are SHORT TERM exclusively to throw the cult off your trail........... then either move again two hours in the opposite direction or if possible OUT OF STATE. no forwarding address............ good bye so long farewell.
where your from locally if you were active in the org you will be known in the district you served...... that was my problem.......... i couldnt so much as go to the mall without seeing 15 witnesses from any number of congregations....... so how am i gonna date when it is 1000% sure to get back to the cult leaders?
i was pissed........ at the time i was a 30 yr old virgin and didnt intend to remain that way for long. i couldnt take my time and look to find a nice non jw girl............. it wouldnt have mattered....... woulda took some flack and been DF'ed. instead i met a girl here and went to visit......... now she was like me.... had pioneered for several years and did all she could be before her doubts came at her full force........ so i even got to pretend that i was marrying a spiritual sister.................... parents got to go to the wedding and were happy........... moved outta state............... wonderfull.
then they thought i was just inactive for 2-3 yrs........ talked to them every weekend or at least every other weekend. no problems............. then they started askeing questions because my vocabulary had changed..... i spoke of GOD not jehovah........... so dad asked........ are you going to another church........ i ignored the question and kept talking about what i was talking about previous......... he wisely let it drop......... then my mom and sister came to visit........... they were to stupid to let it drop............ and i wasnt ashamed of my new much better choice........... so i told them they really didnt want to know.............. and my sister said........... YEAH I DO WANT TO KNOW......... so i gave them both barrels............ ready to defend the lord and all that. they went home the next day............... didnt call me for almost a week........... these are people that normally would have called half way home to let me know they were getting there safe............ and then 3/4 and the minute they got home............. so i knew the fix was in. from that moment untill I CALLED THEM to let them know they were gonna be grandparents........... they didnt speak with me. when i made that call.......... i would have been on that phone till the battery went dead under normal circumstances............ 3 minutes and they mysteriously HAD TO GO............. now i know their schedules and call accordingly......... they had NO WHERE TO GO that night.
since then my son has now reached a year of age............ mom and sis came for birth and were ignorant as hell. dad did not come....... i finally took the boy to see his non jw greatgrandmothers and stopped by on the way........ my dad knew when i was comeing into town......... made other arraingments and only got to spend 30 minutes with the boy......... and thats cause i stayed an extra 3 hours in their city before moving on. went to see family......... 3 hours away from them......... mom and sis came up and spent an hour or two with us......... dad didnt......... on the trip back he spent about 2 hours over 2 days with the boy........ then we came home.... i called when we got home to let people know.................. thats been thanksgiving time........... no response.
so a fade NEVER ends ...........so maybe im not DF'ed but the only reason i didnt want to be was because of my family........... now THAT dosent matter. so be forewarned........... you wont be able to say a damn thing about your REAL life to your family. but the rest of its EASY.............. no pressure...........
so move out of state............. start looking for a GOOD quality person to start dateing........ forget all the jw bulls***. make your own life for yourself, fulll of things YOU and your GF to be enjoy.