Nosferatu, thanks for the advice. Don't worry, I have zero intention of getting baptized . . . I know that'll put me into an even deeper hole than the one I'm in now. The possibility of getting officially DF'd/DA'd is too risky, and makes fading way harder . . . well, I wish for the best for both of us! And I look forward to reading your autobiography when you finish writing it.
Vanant
JoinedPosts by Vanant
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51
How Long Were You "In Transition" Before You Left The Organization?
by minimus inweeks, months, years??
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51
How Long Were You "In Transition" Before You Left The Organization?
by minimus inweeks, months, years??
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Vanant
I think I accepted the fact that I was doubting when I started reading this forum this year; that was the beginning of the end for me. Since I had been lukewarm in love towards the org for some time already, I didn't think I had anything to lose by reading "apostate" things. After reading about all of the scandals, people's experiences, and doctrinal fallacies, I knew for sure that it wasn't the truth. Now I'm in a physical transition period: I still need to keep the appearance of working towards baptism because I still live with my father (who would most likely become violent if I were to tell him the truth); it helps that I've been able to get out of going to meetings because I've been sick (the only good thing about being chronically ill). This charade will probably end once my family splits up sometime next year. Of course, I still have some emotional issues to work through, but at least now I'm positive that JWism is nothing but BS.
Actually, now that I think of it, it was quite early on that I first began mentally drifting away; I think I was about 10 or 11 years old . . . I would daydream about leaving the organization someday and becoming a witch. (I had the habit of sneaking in fantasy novels from the library and hiding them in my sock drawer; thank dog for the library!) But I still believed it was the "truth" then; I just knew I couldn't possibly follow it. Later on, I abandoned thoughts of leaving, and accepted that I was going to die in Armageddon. I went through the motions of becoming a publisher and studying the literature, but in my heart I felt that I had no future. What a cruel organization that makes children feel that way. :(
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Do You See In Yourself Continuing Jehovah's Witness Traits?
by minimus infor all of those either out or on their way to the freedom exit door, do you still see traces of your old jw self that rears its ugly head?
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Vanant
Since I made my decision to leave the borg early this year, I think I've made a lot of progress in removing JW traits from my psyche . . . it helps that I've already been mentally "worldly" in some aspects for a few years previous, such as feeling supportive of issues like feminism, gay rights, blood transfusions, etc. These feelings were actually fundamental in helping me move away from the organization, and I think the progress I've made this year has been in releasing myself from guilt for feeling that way. However, I still hear that nagging little voice whenever I read news articles about bad conditions in the world . . . the voice that says, "wasn't this prophesied?" I try to reason with myself that people haven't changed now compared with people historically, and technology may soon be able to change conditions for the better.
Another problem is that I still have an irrational fear of demons, even though I don't believe they exist . . . even sleeping with a nightlight alleviates the fear only a little bit that something is lurking in the shadows . . . it's hard getting over something that was profoundly terrifying to me as a child, especially since it was made real to me by my parents telling me of their own experiences with the demons. I hope someday I can read ghost stories without feeling tense...
And then I also have great difficulty interacting normally and sustaining friendships with others, something I blame at least partly on the JW upbringing.
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Are Jw's that important?
by integ insunday's talk on avoiding satan's snares brought out an interesting point that the human government's very soon will be turning all their military and political might on god's people here on earth, because of the fact jehovah's witnesses would be perceived as such a dangerous threat to the governments of the world because of their christian neutrality.
which begs the question.....when the hell were the witnesses ever a dangerous threat to anything besides logic?
they really are so freaking full of themselves.
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Vanant
I always found this idea confusing . . . I tried to rationalize it by thinking to myself that the governments wouldn't be afraid of such a tiny organization in itself, but of Jahoho's wrath . . . but then I realized, how could they be afraid of Jahoho if they have no reason to believe in him, or that there's any kind of divine force behind the org? Dub-style logic falls flat on its face once again . . .
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Convention Report
by Euphemism ini just got back from my convention yesterday evening.
i'll be trying to catch up on the posts as time allows, but there is a very large volume; so if i miss any personal replies, please forgive me.. this was my first convention since i became mentally free, and it was just painful to sit through.
i used to be one of those dubs who actually enjoyed conventions.
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Vanant
Euphemism, thank you for posting such an articulate and informative article. I feel so glad now that last year's DC was probably my final one . . . and I hope this year's will be the last for you.
Blondie, interesting that you mention a "treasure map" . . . I think many dubs only read the Bible because they think of it as a treasure map (to eternal youth)!
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Fw: As Bro Sydlick was saying the closing prayer
by NikL ini just had to pass this on to you.. it is an e mail that is making the rounds.. what do you think of this.... (beware!
gagging may be expected).
the 41,000 friends at the international convention in michigan .
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Vanant
One can only hope that he was crying out of guilt/disgust for what he must've been saying . . . o_O
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A reality check for JW's and ex-JWs...
by logansrun ini'm currently taking a course in cultural anthropology to fulfill a college requirement and thought i'd share something from one of the textbooks we are using.
in the book, "extraordinary groups -- an examination of unconventional lifestyles" ethnographer william w. zellner relates his findings when he spent some time studying the jehovah's witnesses.
he relates of an experience he had when attending a convention: .
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Vanant
Hmm . . . ::googles up the Equal Rights Amendment::
"Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.
Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.
Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification."What's the Watchtower doing taking a political stand? And on something like this . . . hmph, leave it to them to support something as barbaric as sex discrimination . . .
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43
What's in a name? Teenyuck?
by leddfootdja ini find all the different aliases people use on here to be pretty entertaining.. what does your name mean to you?
why did you choose it?.
i assume teenyuck, for example = tina spoke by a young child.
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Vanant
My name is taken from Persian/Zoroastrian mythology (very similar to Jewish mythology); it's the name of either the star Altair or Vega (forgot which), and was one of several guardian stars that carried out the dirty work for Ahura Mazda. I've always liked to read about mythology . . . it's one of the things I can finally do totally guilt-free now that I've (mentally) left the borg. :) I found this name interesting in particular because it looks like "vacant," which is what the borg thinks all non-dubs are like spiritually . . . yet now that I've become an atheist, I feel more spiritual than ever before. (Also, I'm a linguistics nerd who loves beautiful sounds in speech, such as the way the [t] comes so softly and voicelessly after the [n] at the end of this name...I'm kind of weird that way...) (sorry, probably not making sense here...maybe it's time to go to bed...o.o)
Anyway, I'm a newbie here, so hi to you all! :D ::waves:: -
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Did anything a householder said ever make an impression on you?
by Alleymom incoming at this as a householder rather than an ex-jw, i'd love to hear from any of you about comments from householders that made an impression on you, back when you were active in the door-to-door work.
since the jw's first knocked at my door 13 years ago, i've done my best to give them something to think about every time they knock at my door.
i always introduce myself by name and try to get their names.
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Vanant
I'd been in the Spanish-speaking circuit for most of my life. I do know Spanish, but don't speak it very well and prefer English, so when I've gone out on service, I would leave the talking to my partner and space out most of the time. So I can't recall any specific statements householders have said that've made an impression on me, but I do remember actions . . . I remember getting yelled at, having had a gun aimed at us, arguing with die-hard atheists and born-agains, etc., typical experiences that JWs point at and say, "See the hard hearts of the worldly!"
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Which way will the Society go because of the Internet?
by be wise ini've only learned the truth about this society over the last 5 months or so, so i'm not sure what the difference is to say - 2 years ago.
do you think the society will now get even more cultish in it's methods of teaching and more heavy handed if they feel things are slipping?
i don't feel i'm being over the top here because i've experienced very heavy handed talks at the assemblies and kingdom hall in the past that are just plain scare tactics but this just makes people ask more questions ??
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Vanant
I think the days of growth among the English-speaking territories are basically over, partly because of the Internet. But there is still growth in the third world, and they don't have the kind of easy access to the Internet that we do . . . even in the US, there is a digital divide between the poor immigrants and the assimilated Americans. Hence in the Spanish-speaking congregations I've been in, the territory was always far more receptive than in the English, and those people definitely could not afford internet access. I think that as they assimilate, growth will slow down, but then there's still all those people in the developing countries getting suckered in . . . :( Mexico, for one, is doing slightly better compared to decades past, but internet access and computers are very expensive and out of the reach of the vast lower classes.