Great article, Outlaw. By the way, your pictures on people's post are always worth 1000 words haha.
startingover13
JoinedPosts by startingover13
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19
Depression, Medication, and Other Grey Areas
by startingover13 inone thing that i have noticed in my dealings with a lot of women in the congregation are deep, intense feelings of insecurity and worthlessness.
i use the term "worthlessness" very loosely because it can apply to many different situations, in the congregation, in the home, personally, etc.
over the years, and especially over the past 6 years, i've met sisters from all walks of life.
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Depression, Medication, and Other Grey Areas
by startingover13 inone thing that i have noticed in my dealings with a lot of women in the congregation are deep, intense feelings of insecurity and worthlessness.
i use the term "worthlessness" very loosely because it can apply to many different situations, in the congregation, in the home, personally, etc.
over the years, and especially over the past 6 years, i've met sisters from all walks of life.
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startingover13
The worst statement that I used to hear was ; "I don't want to have kids in this system." As if things have gotten so bad now that it's somehow unsafe or unwise to have a child. It's almost like an instilled fear or imcompetence. 'This world is evil and I'll lose field service time if I have kids." That's basically the mentality.
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Depression, Medication, and Other Grey Areas
by startingover13 inone thing that i have noticed in my dealings with a lot of women in the congregation are deep, intense feelings of insecurity and worthlessness.
i use the term "worthlessness" very loosely because it can apply to many different situations, in the congregation, in the home, personally, etc.
over the years, and especially over the past 6 years, i've met sisters from all walks of life.
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startingover13
Yes. And the sad thing is they often used the Bible to support their abuse.
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Depression, Medication, and Other Grey Areas
by startingover13 inone thing that i have noticed in my dealings with a lot of women in the congregation are deep, intense feelings of insecurity and worthlessness.
i use the term "worthlessness" very loosely because it can apply to many different situations, in the congregation, in the home, personally, etc.
over the years, and especially over the past 6 years, i've met sisters from all walks of life.
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startingover13
One thing that I have noticed in my dealings with a lot of women in the congregation are deep, intense feelings of insecurity and worthlessness. I use the term "worthlessness" very loosely because it can apply to many different situations, in the congregation, in the home, personally, etc. Over the years, and especially over the past 6 years, I've met sisters from all walks of life. One common theme is the fact that many are either depressed, neurotic, or feel that they don't deserve better than an insecure 20-something brother who is only good inside the KH. I've heard horror stories of horrible husbands who don't take into account their wife's well-being. I've ever heard a sister tell me about her ex husband and how she saw her sex life as nothing more than a wifely duty. Sad!!
As I began my fade, I began to talk about less than kosher topics with some of these women. Many were on medication (anything that ends with -pam is for mood swings, anti depression, etc). It was shocking to hear about the addictions to valum and other medications. Now, to be fair, Jehovah's Witnesses have normal body chemistry like all other human beings. Depression and other conditions are to be expected. But there was another trend that went hand in hand with this; the feeling of being internally flawed. "My (ex) husband/boyfriend corrected me because I wasn't submissive." And of course, the congregation gossip didn't help either. It was just shocking to me to learn that many of the friends, in my experience sisters, are fragile and insecure on the inside. Couple this with the constant measuring up to other families and the pressure to be all you can be (Army reference HA!), many people just can't take it. And seeking professional help is seen as putting trust in nobles.
Growing up in the truth, I would have never thought that many of the friends dealt with these issues. What's more, some JW husbands are cold, calculating, "spiritual" men. I've grown to realize that JW's face mental issues as much as any other people, if not more due to the high stress environment. I hope to get married soon. I feel that this knowledge will help me to at least take care of me and mine, and be a listening ear to those around me. More than anything to support my family emotionally and reassure them that their worth can not be measured in magazines placed, hours recorded in service, or any other worldy standard. Love God with all of you heart, and do your best to imitate His son. Nada mas, nada menos. Thanks for reading.
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'Lone Survivor' Movie....Amazing.
by startingover13 inlast night i was finally able to make it to the movies and saw 'lone survivor', starring mark wahlberg.
i did a little research beforehand about the film.
premise: 4 u.s. navy seals are trapped in the mountains of afghanistan during a botched attempt to capture a taliban leader.
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startingover13
Dazed, you'll love the book. Better than the movie in my opinion.
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'Lone Survivor' Movie....Amazing.
by startingover13 inlast night i was finally able to make it to the movies and saw 'lone survivor', starring mark wahlberg.
i did a little research beforehand about the film.
premise: 4 u.s. navy seals are trapped in the mountains of afghanistan during a botched attempt to capture a taliban leader.
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startingover13
Last night I was finally able to make it to the movies and saw 'Lone Survivor', starring Mark Wahlberg. I did a little research beforehand about the film. Premise: 4 U.S. Navy SEALs are trapped in the mountains of Afghanistan during a botched attempt to capture a Taliban leader. 4 Navy SEALs vs. 200 + angry Taliban soldiers. You can connect the dots, I'm sure. The title of the movie alludes to the fact that it didn't end well for the SEALs. Whatever the case, I read the book written by Petty Officer Marcus Luttrel when I was in high school. Great read as well. The film did its best to stick to the real story, although some explosions, hand-to-hand fights, etc were added. It also did a great job showing the perspective of the everyday Afghan civillians who are caught between the Taliban and U.S. forces. My whole family is Navy, so some parts were a bit hard to watch. Great film nonetheless. Check it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoLFk4JK_RM
P.S. I'd rather not have a long discussion about politics, U.S. involvement in the Middle East, etc etc. That's a topic for another post. Just wanted to promote a good movie. Have a good weekend all.
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What if the GB hired you as the new CEO of Jehovah's Witnesses?
by kneehighmiah ini'm pretending the gb decided to hire a ceo to combat dwindling membership and overall apathy.
here is a list of the changes i would make to the organization if i were hired as ceo.
feel free to list your ideas (serious and humorous)!.
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startingover13
Kneehigh, this is probably the best post I've read on this site. I agree with every single word. Good laugh, too.
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Putting Things into Perspective
by startingover13 insome time has passed since my disfellowshipping, and even more time since i've been to a meeting.
with the stress of finally moving out, university, and work issues, i haven't had much time to reflect on my past life as one of jehovah's witnesses and what it really meant.
as i left my hometown on the bus yesterday evening, i finally had some "chill" time.
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startingover13
Thanks to everyone for your positive feedback and insight. Have a great week.
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Putting Things into Perspective
by startingover13 insome time has passed since my disfellowshipping, and even more time since i've been to a meeting.
with the stress of finally moving out, university, and work issues, i haven't had much time to reflect on my past life as one of jehovah's witnesses and what it really meant.
as i left my hometown on the bus yesterday evening, i finally had some "chill" time.
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startingover13
Some time has passed since my disfellowshipping, and even more time since I've been to a meeting. With the stress of finally moving out, university, and work issues, I haven't had much time to reflect on my past life as one of Jehovah's Witnesses and what it really meant. As I left my hometown on the bus yesterday evening, I finally had some "chill" time. Time to think, reflect, and put things into perspective. As I sat at the bus station waiting to transfer, a pair of magazines caught my eye on the bench. It was the pair of Watchtower and Awake for the month of November. To shed some light on my background, I spent the final 4 years as a JW in a foreign language field. As Nelson Mandela said, if you speak to someone in a language that they understand, you'll reach his head. But if you speak to him in his own language, you will reach his heart. Now while I've paraphrased that statement, I believe that finally reading the literature in English reached me on a more profound level. Instead of reading in preparation for a meeting or field service, I began to read and understand the points that the magazines were making. Moral values, sexting, and the qualities of God were among some of the issues covered. It dawned on me in that moment that the problem was simple; growing up in the organization, I had never read the publications for personal application. The sad fact is that few JWs read the publications for leisure. It's mostly in preparation for meetings or field service. Any other time they have is dedicated to work, personal duties, and of course, the never ending cycle of "personal study."
As with any major enterprise, the WTBTS has its flaws. Part of the reason that my fundamental beliefs were shaken was because I was an idealist. I hadn't cultivated a relationship with God at all, but with an organization. A way of doing things, so to say. I believed that I was part of God's chosen people. I sought out the best in my brothers and sisters, ignoring all of thier faults. It wasn't until I came of age that I realized that Jehovah's Witnesses are humans first. Yes, I've experienced and heard ignorant and racist remarks while with brothers. Yes, 40% of young ones my age have been disfellowshiped. Yes, the warm "brotherly love" seemed to cool off once I began to struggle out here on my own trying to make my place in this world. Even more so when I went to college. But you know what? That's fine. God's love has still kept me happy. My amazing family has been there through thick and thin. And the few friends that I have held onto, in and out of the organization, have showed me what unconditional friendship and love is.
My point in all of this is that the practical knowledge and wisdom that many of the publications contain is useful. Money issues, family matters, and Bible based answers about common problems in life. The sad thing is that many JWs rarely delve into the deeper meaning of them. What's more, many "worldly" (I detest this word now) people know these things and teach them to their children from a young age. The benefit of having a father who wasn't baptized until he was in his late 30's is that I learned a lot of practical things from him. He's had a life before the organization, so his view of the world is more balanced and he used Bible principles in his life. My mother is also an example of someone that has truly cultivated a Christian personality. In my disfellowshiped state, I've had time to really get to know myself. I've learned that a personal relationship with God is the only way one can truly be a Christian. Forget the titles; Jehovah's Witness, Penecostal, Baptist, Methodist, etc. As one famous comedian said, "Forget the messenger, did you get the message?" I feel that I've grown spiritually. I have become more loving, compassionate, and balanced in my dealings with others. I no longer condemn someone because of their circumstances, or pity them because they sincerely don't have time for me on Saturday morning at 10 am. Those close minded ways didn't lead to happiness, rather contempt, fear, and depsite my best efforts, feelings that I could always do more. In closing, those 2 magazines at the bus station helped me put things into perspective. No, I won't be destroyed in a short amount of time. It's o.k to explore my talents and abilities. And finally, if I apply BIBLE (keyword) principles in my life, I'll be alright. There may be some bumps and bruises, but I will sleep better at night knowing that my life is worth something. That I used my 70 or 80 years (with special mightiness ) for good, and lived as a true Christian. Thanks for reading.
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Going Back for the Right Reasons
by startingover13 ini'm new to this site, but i have been following the topics for some time.
initially, it was during a deep search into the history of jehovah's witnesses, and yes, "apostate" sites.
i was born into the organization in 1989. my father was always more inclined to the organization than my mother, and soon after she was df'ed.
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startingover13
Hello all. I'm new to this site, but I have been following the topics for some time. Initially, it was during a deep search into the history of Jehovah's Witnesses, and yes, "apostate" sites. I was born into the organization in 1989. My father was always more inclined to the organization than my mother, and soon after she was DF'ed. I grew up in my father's house and learned the 'truth' until I became baptized at 15. The funny thing is that during my early childhood years and teen years, I always got to do "worldly" things at mom's house. Long story short, it wasn't long until my zeal and love for Jehovah was shattered by seeing the reality of the organization. Growing up as a Witness, I was very idealistic. The KH was a sanctuary, an oaisis in this dark and confused world. The pictures in the Watchtower/Awakwe of a large man in a wife beater with a bottle in his hand hitting his wife, or of corrupt politicians didn't make the world seem like a nice place to be. But as I grew older, got out on my own and began to meet people of 'the world', I began to think for myself.
Fastforward 7 years later, and I have recently been disfellowshipped for committing fornication with my girlfriend. She is a convert and was baptized at 20. Now, we are both out, and to make matters worse, we are from different countries. My life was a complete mess. I didn't know where to turn, what to do with regards to the love of my life, or even if Jehovah still loved me. It was then that I began to see the unconditional love of my father. He goes against 'counsel' and speaks with me on a regular basis. He plainly said that I was his son, and that he wouldn't let the lonliness and hurt consume his only child. He has been my rock during this difficult time, and he's helped me to put things into perspective. There is a difference between serving Jehovah, and serving an organization. I have explained this to my fiancee as well, and she agrees. We both were very idealistic, falsely thinking that JW's were a special breed. That no one would abandon us when we stopped going out in service for X amount of house. The fact of the matter is that JW's are humans just like everyone else. And that no human should come between our relationship with our Father Jehovah God. 8 men in New York will not dictate my career choice, only the Bible can do that. All too often the words "Bible trained conscience" are confused with "The latest issue of the Watchtower and Awake."
I have determined now to return to doing what Jehovah wants. Be a good person, a soon to be good husband, and a TRUE Christian. I no longer will let people measure my spiritually by some Earthly yardstick. I also want to take this opportunity to thank the positive and upbuilding comments of the users of this forum. I began to see that I wasn't the first one to go through this realization. One of my psychology professors said that changing a fundamental belief, or having your ideals shattered can be one of the most psychologically difficult times in life. Through my amazing father, loving mother, and fiancee, I have shaken off the shackels of unworthyness, feelings of uneccesary guilt, and sadness. I have learned to read about and embrace the positive side of Jehovah, the side of my loving Father that is happy with my best effort. I am determined to teach my family from the Bible, open their minds, and teach them the ways of true Christianity. Counting hours, reaching out for privileges, and lip service are NOT how to measure a person's worth. A wholehearted and humble service is the only kind that God wants. As for me and my household, we will continue to serve God through a balanced, loving, and authentic approach. No more serving an organization. No more fear. No more lip service.
Thanks for reading.