The "return to the org'' and "I want to marry a servant of Jehovah" rhetoric is back in full swing. Today she made it clear that she plans make a career out of pioneering. Nevermind any "worldy" career. Money doesn't bring happiness, pioneering does. Lord...if you're listening, HELP.
startingover13
JoinedPosts by startingover13
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24
Loyalty to Org Over Everything Else
by startingover13 ini'm slowly beginning to realize that the person who i love the most is more loyal to an organization above all else.
some time ago, i wrote about how my girlfriend and i were both df'd for fornication.
i do believe that what we did was out of line, from a biblical standpoint, and i accepted my discipline.
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Loyalty to Org Over Everything Else
by startingover13 ini'm slowly beginning to realize that the person who i love the most is more loyal to an organization above all else.
some time ago, i wrote about how my girlfriend and i were both df'd for fornication.
i do believe that what we did was out of line, from a biblical standpoint, and i accepted my discipline.
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startingover13
I've promised myself that 2014 will bring changes. Data-Dog, you're right. One saying we have in my family is that once you're at rock bottom, the only way you can go is up. So this year and the years to come will be full of hope and progress on all levels. Professionally, spiritually, and in my personal relationships. I will keep the members of this forum updated on my progress as the months pass.
Thanks again.
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Loyalty to Org Over Everything Else
by startingover13 ini'm slowly beginning to realize that the person who i love the most is more loyal to an organization above all else.
some time ago, i wrote about how my girlfriend and i were both df'd for fornication.
i do believe that what we did was out of line, from a biblical standpoint, and i accepted my discipline.
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startingover13
I fear that these events will never be forgotten. I've known JW couples that were df'ed together, married, got reinstated, and now they're living their lives to the full, sometimes even with children. I respect a couple that can draw closer during the difficult times and deepen their love for one another. They depend on each other the most when all others leave them. I haven't felt that with my girlfriend. At times she has voiced that her family sees me as the cause of all of this grief. Even though she hasn't said it outright, I think that she feels the same way. I don't think there is any coming back from something like that. No matter how "spiritual" I become, even I get reinstated and become Brother All-Star. That saddens me because it's almost like I'm marked. The only people that have loved me unconditionally are my parents. I thank God for them every single day. For this forum as well.
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Loyalty to Org Over Everything Else
by startingover13 ini'm slowly beginning to realize that the person who i love the most is more loyal to an organization above all else.
some time ago, i wrote about how my girlfriend and i were both df'd for fornication.
i do believe that what we did was out of line, from a biblical standpoint, and i accepted my discipline.
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startingover13
Thank you all for the words of encouragement. I will be watching to see how she reacts if she gets reinstated. I've decided to give her some distance. That'll afford both of us some time to think and to evaluate what we want so that both of us can be happy. I'm realizing that I may need to love her enough to let her go, as stated earlier. Thanks again for your posts.
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Loyalty to Org Over Everything Else
by startingover13 ini'm slowly beginning to realize that the person who i love the most is more loyal to an organization above all else.
some time ago, i wrote about how my girlfriend and i were both df'd for fornication.
i do believe that what we did was out of line, from a biblical standpoint, and i accepted my discipline.
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startingover13
I'm slowly beginning to realize that the person who I love the most is more loyal to an organization above all else. Some time ago, I wrote about how my girlfriend and I were both Df'd for fornication. I do believe that what we did was out of line, from a biblical standpoint, and I accepted my discipline. While I've been out, I've learned how to measure people's worth outside of the parameters of the organization. I've also seen who are my true friends and those that care about me. Most importantly, my solitude has helped to me reach out to God on my terms and learn more about spirituality. I say spirituality because during my 20 or so years in the organization, spirituality was something that I never came to fully understand. It was also associated with actions. Service time, talks, comments, privileges, etc. In terms of truly getting to know God and examining my faith, however, I was lost. Over the past year I've began to see things clearer. I do believe that most Jehovah's Witnesses are good people. They want to do the right thing. Let's face it, many people on Earth need something to believe in just to feel like their life is worth something. It's the sad reality. They serve a god/gods out of necesity or tradition, not because they've truly come to appreciate what the idea of a god entails.
Over the past month, my girlfriend and I have grown further and further apart. As I'm coming to these realizations, our conversations are leaning more and more towards small fights. When I try and plant a seed to get her to think for herself, she becomes defensive and says that she misses the brotherhood, spiritual activities, and making Jehovah happy. Granted, I'm not faulting her for feeling good about the preaching work and being around like-minded people. My problem is the more I begin to have a balanced approach on things, the more right-wing she becomes to me. I love this woman to pieces, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. What I DON'T want, however, is to live a lie. I don't want to be married to a fanatic or someone that feels that we must jump through hoops as a family to somehow keep God's approval. The straw that broke the camel's back for me was a conversation we had earlier this evening when I asked her about the authenticity of her past ''friendships.'' As soon as she was announced as being disfellowshipped, her ''friends'' deleted her off of their social media site. What's more, all outside communication stopped, and the only people that still check up on her are a mutual friend of ours who has faded (changed religions actually), her family, and me. When I asked her where the love was in that, her response was; ''you don't think it hurts them to not be able to speak with me? You think they want to ignore me? I think it's loving because it reminds you of you error, and it prevents the sick ones from infecting the rest of the congregation."
I lost it. I didn't curse her or anything, I simply asked her to define the logic in that. Pslams tells us that as East is from West, so are our sins before Jehovah. He doesn't call them to mind, so why should we? What's more, I asked her to show me an instance that Jesus ignored or rejected a sinner that sincerely wanted to change his course. She couldn't. All she said was that the elders are the ones that have the authoritiy to speak with disfellowshipped ones. I was dumbfounded. I called her brainwashed (not a good idea in retrospect). Whatever the case, it ended bad, as usual. I feel lost. I know in my heart that I have a true desire to serve God and imitate His son by being a good example in the community and doing my best to reflect Christian qualities. But I feel as if this has taken a backseat to procedure, rules, an the outward appearance of repentance. She is going to write her letter soon to join the congregation again. The sad thing is that I feel pressure to write mine because she's flat out told me that she loves me, but she will have to stop speaking to me until I'm reinstated. She'll always be there for me though. (her words).
I am praying for wisdom. I love this woman, but it seems that she loves the organization more.
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Depression, Medication, and Other Grey Areas
by startingover13 inone thing that i have noticed in my dealings with a lot of women in the congregation are deep, intense feelings of insecurity and worthlessness.
i use the term "worthlessness" very loosely because it can apply to many different situations, in the congregation, in the home, personally, etc.
over the years, and especially over the past 6 years, i've met sisters from all walks of life.
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startingover13
Great article, Outlaw. By the way, your pictures on people's post are always worth 1000 words haha.
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Depression, Medication, and Other Grey Areas
by startingover13 inone thing that i have noticed in my dealings with a lot of women in the congregation are deep, intense feelings of insecurity and worthlessness.
i use the term "worthlessness" very loosely because it can apply to many different situations, in the congregation, in the home, personally, etc.
over the years, and especially over the past 6 years, i've met sisters from all walks of life.
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startingover13
The worst statement that I used to hear was ; "I don't want to have kids in this system." As if things have gotten so bad now that it's somehow unsafe or unwise to have a child. It's almost like an instilled fear or imcompetence. 'This world is evil and I'll lose field service time if I have kids." That's basically the mentality.
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Depression, Medication, and Other Grey Areas
by startingover13 inone thing that i have noticed in my dealings with a lot of women in the congregation are deep, intense feelings of insecurity and worthlessness.
i use the term "worthlessness" very loosely because it can apply to many different situations, in the congregation, in the home, personally, etc.
over the years, and especially over the past 6 years, i've met sisters from all walks of life.
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startingover13
Yes. And the sad thing is they often used the Bible to support their abuse.
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Depression, Medication, and Other Grey Areas
by startingover13 inone thing that i have noticed in my dealings with a lot of women in the congregation are deep, intense feelings of insecurity and worthlessness.
i use the term "worthlessness" very loosely because it can apply to many different situations, in the congregation, in the home, personally, etc.
over the years, and especially over the past 6 years, i've met sisters from all walks of life.
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startingover13
One thing that I have noticed in my dealings with a lot of women in the congregation are deep, intense feelings of insecurity and worthlessness. I use the term "worthlessness" very loosely because it can apply to many different situations, in the congregation, in the home, personally, etc. Over the years, and especially over the past 6 years, I've met sisters from all walks of life. One common theme is the fact that many are either depressed, neurotic, or feel that they don't deserve better than an insecure 20-something brother who is only good inside the KH. I've heard horror stories of horrible husbands who don't take into account their wife's well-being. I've ever heard a sister tell me about her ex husband and how she saw her sex life as nothing more than a wifely duty. Sad!!
As I began my fade, I began to talk about less than kosher topics with some of these women. Many were on medication (anything that ends with -pam is for mood swings, anti depression, etc). It was shocking to hear about the addictions to valum and other medications. Now, to be fair, Jehovah's Witnesses have normal body chemistry like all other human beings. Depression and other conditions are to be expected. But there was another trend that went hand in hand with this; the feeling of being internally flawed. "My (ex) husband/boyfriend corrected me because I wasn't submissive." And of course, the congregation gossip didn't help either. It was just shocking to me to learn that many of the friends, in my experience sisters, are fragile and insecure on the inside. Couple this with the constant measuring up to other families and the pressure to be all you can be (Army reference HA!), many people just can't take it. And seeking professional help is seen as putting trust in nobles.
Growing up in the truth, I would have never thought that many of the friends dealt with these issues. What's more, some JW husbands are cold, calculating, "spiritual" men. I've grown to realize that JW's face mental issues as much as any other people, if not more due to the high stress environment. I hope to get married soon. I feel that this knowledge will help me to at least take care of me and mine, and be a listening ear to those around me. More than anything to support my family emotionally and reassure them that their worth can not be measured in magazines placed, hours recorded in service, or any other worldy standard. Love God with all of you heart, and do your best to imitate His son. Nada mas, nada menos. Thanks for reading.
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'Lone Survivor' Movie....Amazing.
by startingover13 inlast night i was finally able to make it to the movies and saw 'lone survivor', starring mark wahlberg.
i did a little research beforehand about the film.
premise: 4 u.s. navy seals are trapped in the mountains of afghanistan during a botched attempt to capture a taliban leader.
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startingover13
Dazed, you'll love the book. Better than the movie in my opinion.