ugh. Sorry. Maybe this will help, maybe not:
About 4 years ago we stopped going to the meetings, my little brother told me that if I didn't get "things" together he wouldn't be associating with me anymore. He meant it too, there were months when he didn't speak to me. Things have changed though, and even though he is still a loyal JW, this week he was sitting in my driveway on the truck tailgate, playing with my dogs and having a little chat.
Maybe he thought I was going to turn into a terrible person. I don't know. We're still not best friends, but things are nice.
Hang in there, and welcome to JWD.