The only positive thing about this whole article is that they eventually croak and turn into worm food. Gee, did I sound bitter? Hmmm... turns out I'm NOT that crazy about dictatorial policies that kill people...
Posts by Odrade
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7Gene Smalley and the Watchtower's Blood Transfusion Doctrine
by Dogpatch inin recent years the legal dept.
isn't he, barr and barber the last of the old gb?
aug 22 1965, p. 18. but awake feb 22 1975, p. 30 may have reimposed it.
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91
Newly Exiting JW's ( Last 5 years ) How are you Doing in Life? Let Us Know
by flipper inconsidering the fact we've had so many newbies here i thought it would be good to just open it up to you folks to see how life is going for you since you exited the witnesses ?
it's hard many times to move on- however with lots of ex-witnesses on the board here who have been through similar experiences - perhaps those of us who have been out awhile can give you someideas on how to move on in your post jw life to make it a little easier .
so fire away newbies and recently exited jw 's.
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Odrade
the family always got the short end of the stick
No kidding, huh? I feel sorry for my dad. He really tried, but he was often so tired, and always there were people "needing" his attention. And his obligations to the WTS made it so he really couldn't say no. I've known elders who resigned because they weren't able to spend time with their families, and felt their wives and small children were being neglected, but sadly they were often guilted into being reappointed.
What a waste of good minds and good hearts.
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91
Newly Exiting JW's ( Last 5 years ) How are you Doing in Life? Let Us Know
by flipper inconsidering the fact we've had so many newbies here i thought it would be good to just open it up to you folks to see how life is going for you since you exited the witnesses ?
it's hard many times to move on- however with lots of ex-witnesses on the board here who have been through similar experiences - perhaps those of us who have been out awhile can give you someideas on how to move on in your post jw life to make it a little easier .
so fire away newbies and recently exited jw 's.
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Odrade
I'm a little outside your "5 years or so" window, but things are going pretty great. Lots of laughing and joking, and new friends, and adventures. Business is pretty good (that business I created once I finally had free time to get some training...,) I have two spoiled rotten dogs - never "had time" for dogs before. We had a delightful time last weekend with some visiting friends, and had a lovely dinner and a couple of bottles of wine with no worries about getting up in the morning in time to go for Sunday Browbeating, I mean Meeting.
There have certainly been casualties of our exit - my mother no longer speaks to me, it has been almost 2 years, although I'm not sure that's a bad thing, it certainly cuts down on the crazy in my life. We don't have as much contact with husband's parents though, either, and that's kind of sad. Certainly don't miss the preaching from them.
The JWs come around here periodically, but I don't think they even remember who we are, or if we do, they skip our house, and send JW n00bs who don't know us, so we're not afraid to be out in the yard on a Saturday (and at this point, wouldn't be anyways.) If they come by, I just politely tell them "no thank you," and they're on their way.
I still get angry about all the lies, missed opportunities, lost years, but feel such a great weight off my shoulders and such freedom! I know active JWs can never believe that, but I never knew just how imprisoned I was until I was free of the WTS' iron shackles.
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Odrade
Lies, hypocrisy, cruelty.
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Sad news of a former JWD member
by talesin ini received a facebook message from his account today - bas has passed away.. .
a lovely young man, who joined jwd after dating a canadian ex-jw as a supportive person.
just wanted to pass on the news.. .
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Odrade
Oh what a shame, I'm so sorry to hear that.
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Some thing for woman to think about
by is there help out there inalmost all woman want to get married and have children.
if you are a faithful jw woman there is a good chance this will never happen.
70% of jw are woman and 30% are men.
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Odrade
Testify!
So true.
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82
Some thing for woman to think about
by is there help out there inalmost all woman want to get married and have children.
if you are a faithful jw woman there is a good chance this will never happen.
70% of jw are woman and 30% are men.
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Odrade
Yep, my dad is still in, (Let's not call it the "Truth," makes me retch, huh? LOL!) and heavily involved - Building committee, AH committee, he's one of those guys that gets lots of invites (out of town, out of state, out of country) to give the Memorial talks (and no, he's not "anointed.") To his credit, he always accepts the first one, rather than waiting to see which prestigious offers roll in.
In the past, that has meant he has been obligated to drive himself at his own expense to some little podunk 5 hours away, instead of getting flown in to Cozumel by the congregation. He believes it totally. I don't know what that does to him, to see this stuff happen. He must see it, I can't believe that he could live in such a vacuum, so I don't know how he deals with it. I've got to believe he just closes off that part of his brain and refuses to acknowledge it - which in some respects is just as reprehensible.
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82
Some thing for woman to think about
by is there help out there inalmost all woman want to get married and have children.
if you are a faithful jw woman there is a good chance this will never happen.
70% of jw are woman and 30% are men.
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Odrade
daring: Elders and MS, I would think. Absolute power and all that jazz. Makes men into abusers who may not necessarily be predisposed to that sort of behavior. It makes it alright, and once you've crossed one line of control, the next line is a little closer, until in no time flat you're coming up on tyranny.
You know, things are so stratified in the Organization, even within each KH, that it's impossible to get a true picture of people while you're still in.
I think of some of the people I knew when I was growing up, and how highly I thought of them. Elders who treated me like their own family, pioneers who were my closest friends. Then, after leaving, finding out that I was treated completely differently from my peers, who did not have the status that my family had. How, when they got in trouble, these men who I perceived as kind people that I could go to with any problem if I needed to, treated them like scum. The unkindnesses I heard about did not track with my own experiences.
I heard about men who were molesting their kids, I heard about servants having affairs with teenage girls, stories about stalkers... I learned about elders who told people that they could never measure up, and they'd never be worthy of holy spirit. I heard my friends describe judicial committees where they felt like the difference between being DF'd or just reproved, was whether they cried hard enough, not whether they were "repentant." (My best friend was blackmailed by her loving father into baptism - something I NEVER would have suspected of him.)
I think one of the things that kept me in for so long is that my dad was a really honorable man. I mean, the standards that he expected of everyone else... he held himself to the same standards, plus. He NEVER looked at another woman (and he had groupies, well they tried anyways, but not one of them ever got close.) If a sister called to talk to him, he would conference call in another brother, or else he would leave his office door open, and let her know that their conversation might not be private. He was by the book in every aspect he could control.
In some ways that made him harsh, but in others, it set the bar very high. Since he never waivered from his ethics, I think I came to expect that everyone else was acting honorably also. Imagine my shock when I started to see that wasn't true. Drunk elders and their drunk wives, cliques, affairs (hetero and homo), those weird wife swaps where two married people have an affair, and then the "wronged" spouses end up hooking up too, and all of the physical abuse! So many people I had no clue were getting beaten regularly and yet still coming to the meetings and giving talks about love and wonderful the JW family unit is. Gag.
Well, now I'm just rambling, but it just seems like the entire organization is one big fun house mirror maze, where you never know exactly what it is you're seeing.
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Some thing for woman to think about
by is there help out there inalmost all woman want to get married and have children.
if you are a faithful jw woman there is a good chance this will never happen.
70% of jw are woman and 30% are men.
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Odrade
Here's an interesting addendum to this discussion...
I was in New Seasons today having lunch (NS is a local boutique grocery store with a "gourmet" luncheon area.) I was sitting at a little table right behind a group of 6 women, all dressed up in church clothes and sensible shoes. I wouldn't have thought much about it except that ALL of them were in "service appropriate" dresses and skirts. Now, I enjoy eavesdropping as much as the next person, and I'll admit that even after 8 years out, I'm still pretty good at spotting a "car group." (Not to mention the fact that 3 of the women had packed their own lunches in little thermal bags, which tells me that they didn't just stroll over from an office with a fridge. Heh.)
At least 4 of them were married (rings), and the other two I couldn't see their hands. The topic of conversation was how to get "permission" from their husbands to do things. We're not talking BIG things, we're talking little things, like having someone over for dinner, or taking an outing on Saturday afternoon. They all agreed that their husbands would never give them permission to do anything if they asked outright. (One of the women said it took her years of him saying "no" to everything, before she learned how to get permission.)
They discussed the various methods they used to get such small bits of freedom (my take on it.) One woman described how she has to plan activities weeks in advance, so she has time to start dropping hints to get him used to the idea, so then about a week ahead of time when she asks for the "final" permission, he is more likely to say yes.
It was really very sad (and a little bit amusing too,) these were attractive, intelligent women. Obviously pioneers or close (why else would they be putting in a long Monday?) Their husbands had "duties" at the KH, so we can assume that at least some of them were servants, and yet these smart, lovely ladies, were living this life of subservient triviality. What a shame!
No wonder so many of them eventually act out!
I kind of wished I could have told them: "You know, on the OUTSIDE, women are allowed to be partners with their spouses." But of course, they have the BEST way of life, so I hope they remember that next time they want to buy an extra chicken so they can have a picnic lunch, and have to plan for a week just to get permission.
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Anyone look at this board while still an IN and ACTIVE JW?
by Mad Sweeney ini vaguely remember looking at this board a few years ago, before i ever considered leaving the borg, and being appalled at the evil and hateful attitudes i saw here and scared to death of reading any further.. now i go back through years and years of posts and there is no evil or hate there at all.
it's one of the most kind and welcoming boards i've encountered since the invention of the internet.. that is how well borg indoctrination works.
it is eerily like 1984. black is white.
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Odrade
My husband was reading here before we left. The day I made the decision to quit, he showed me the site.