StarTrekAngel
JoinedPosts by StarTrekAngel
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23
The emotionally manipulative techniques JW families use.
by stuckinarut2 ini am really disturbed by some methods that jw family members try and use to emotionally manipulate us back into the organization.. one of our fellow posters here has had a family member send several photos of them as a child either out witnessing, and at an assembly.. no words - just those pictures.. it seems such an infantile and manipulative technique to employ?!.
do they think that we will all simply ignore the logical and factual reasons we no longer attend, just because we see some sentimental picture?
do they not see that this actually may reinforce our understanding that we were raised as children in a high-control religious group where we had to please our parents.
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Random Musing of an ex-JW between a rock and a hard place.
by StarTrekAngel inmany of you may recall pass postings of mine where i mentioned my plans of moving away from my current neighborhood.
mainly because my office got moved and now my commute is about one hour each way.
my employer is pretty flexible so showing up on time, for now, is not an issue.
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StarTrekAngel
Many of you may recall pass postings of mine where I mentioned my plans of moving away from my current neighborhood. Mainly because my office got moved and now my commute is about one hour each way. My employer is pretty flexible so showing up on time, for now, is not an issue. I do, however, have other reasons to make sure I am available to my subordinates but also can't phantom the idea of wasting two hours of my day, every day, just driving.
Moving would also bring and end to the PTSD feelings I get when I run into my ex-friends from the old hall. They have not come around to bother me at home but I know for sure they are probably hounding my mother in law, who had not bothered with asking questions.... until recently.
This new career path has brought about a nice bump in pay as well as nice, open relationship with the top dogs at the company. The future is bright for me and, in consequence, for my family. My wife decided to also go back to work a few years back. My mother in law has never been opposed to reduce her preaching hours in order to watch our kids in the summers and after school. We don't demand that she do anything nor do we ask her for money. Every now and then she'd bring a load of groceries or pay for a nice dinner. We've taken her on vacations half way around the world. All in our dime. If I had to actually lay down the accounting, I believe she is more than well compensated for her contributions.
In a way, we are the only choice that she's got and she somewhat knows it. Her JW son lives mere blocks away from us yet there is a much better chance that he'd see her in meetings than showing up around our house. This has little to do with our spiritual state. He's always been that way. Mother in law is diabetic and losing her eye sight rapidly. She not only has regular doctors visits to attend, but also needs to be watched because she does not take care of herself. My wife has gotten pretty good at analyzing her surroundings and knowing when she has been misbehaving. In the others hand, her son's idea of taking care of mom consists on taking her out once a month, from sun up to sun down and raid every restaurant and movie concession stand for all the wrong foods. It is up to my wife afterwards, to make sure she recovers from that.
Going back to our moving plans, we found this very nice development that just started no more than two years ago. If features very nice homes with all levels of schooling within walking distance, including a Texas A&M campus. With a 14 year old getting ready to make a college choice in the next couple of years, is the perfect place to raise a family and it puts me a mere 20 min away from work.
Like everything in nice, is costs a pretty penny and there are trade off. The builder requires several thousand dollars on deposit in order to begin construction of the home and, if your mortgage is approved, the deposit is credited to your account but it is not refundable is you decided to walk away from the deal.
This long story bring me to the hard place. After much deliberating and working on a relocation package with my employer, I am ready to tie the knot. I have a meeting scheduled with the builder to sign off this Friday. If I sign, this would be a point of no return since I am pretty sure I will qualify for the loan. But that is not the hard place.
The hard place is my mother in law, whom had hesitated for a while as to whether she will be moving with us or not. Yesterday my wife informed me that she had finally decided that she will..... but with one condition... that my wife returns to meetings.
Yeap.. there you have it. The captive organization that Mr Stewart of the ARC so finely pointed out is now in action. Despite being away from its clutches for years, I am back under their foot. If I go thru with it and my wife does not go to the meetings, MIL will most likely leave us. This means having to pay for daycare, and probably even a provider for her because we can't trust my brother in law. If we don't go thru with the move, my job is just going to turn ever more complicated as my boss' patience is going to wear out. Not to mention this new place is not only shelter for us, is also a good investment opportunity. Regardless of what we ultimately do, the line has been drawn and if we don't stand on the right side of it, the grief and anguish will still be there.
I am ever more convinced that there is no such a thing as leaving a cult. You avoid them, sometimes at a price. No wonder ex-cult members are often called cult "survivors". Surviving is what I will be doing, at least until my MIL passes away. By then, many of these opportunities now present would have probably passed me on. The last thing I want is to strain the relationship between my wife and her mom.
I have a bit over 2 days to decide what to do... wish me luck
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The emotionally manipulative techniques JW families use.
by stuckinarut2 ini am really disturbed by some methods that jw family members try and use to emotionally manipulate us back into the organization.. one of our fellow posters here has had a family member send several photos of them as a child either out witnessing, and at an assembly.. no words - just those pictures.. it seems such an infantile and manipulative technique to employ?!.
do they think that we will all simply ignore the logical and factual reasons we no longer attend, just because we see some sentimental picture?
do they not see that this actually may reinforce our understanding that we were raised as children in a high-control religious group where we had to please our parents.
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StarTrekAngel
Well if them sending a picture is bad, for sure. But try this
My wife and I are in the process of moving. Long story short (writing another thread about it) the mother in law is best off if she moves with us. Rather than appreciating the fact that we are building a whole room apart from the house just for her, she instead threatens to stay behind instead of moving with us. Unless, off course, my wife returns to meetings.
This throws a wrench in a lot of things. Moving expenses already committed, career paths, etc.
Talk about blackmailing
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Official statement: "Jehovah’s Witnesses’ Scripturally Based Position on Child Protection"
by neat blue dog ini'm not sure if this was mentioned yet, but at this week's meeting they announced (or will announce for those who haven't had theirs yet) the availability of a new official statement on child abuse that can be downloaded in the legal section of jwdotorg.
(funny it's in the legal section, it just shows their mentality and how this is really damage control.
) here's the link:.
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StarTrekAngel
I think the point that is always missed, regardless of how complete and sensible the updated policy might be, is that just like any good old cult, they speak from both corners of the mouth and they always will
When they speak of not shielding perps from the authorities, it sounds good for an outside reader
For insiders, that means you have all the rights to bypass the "don't sue your brother" rule if the perp has been found guilty by two witnesses. If they are not, and you go to the police anyway, you are still subject to their harassment and possibly DFing.
We need to have it clear, having been there ourselves, that when they say they don't shield abusers, it means and will always mean "abusers that have been confirmed to be so by the two witness rule"
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Fresh of the press. Bus driver for charter school faces six complaints of child abuse. He is also an elder
by StarTrekAngel inhttp://www.themonitor.com/news/local/article_1a041cb4-57c5-11e8-b066-5bb6aab897ac.html.
the man in the article is an elder for two local congregations to south texas.
one of which i used to attend.
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StarTrekAngel
I just found out thru my wife (she is in the legal field) that the lawyer mentioned in the article is your average Jane Doe. Not certified or specialized in anything
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Assisted living for older JWs
by StarTrekAngel ini am asking of your assistance at this time on a topic.
i know this has been briefly covered before but some of the link in old threads are no longer working.
the topic is these communities created for older jws.
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StarTrekAngel
What involvement, if any, is there from the GB or WT? Is this all private pay?
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Fresh of the press. Bus driver for charter school faces six complaints of child abuse. He is also an elder
by StarTrekAngel inhttp://www.themonitor.com/news/local/article_1a041cb4-57c5-11e8-b066-5bb6aab897ac.html.
the man in the article is an elder for two local congregations to south texas.
one of which i used to attend.
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StarTrekAngel
Holy spirit screwed up again.... first thing I thought as well
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Fresh of the press. Bus driver for charter school faces six complaints of child abuse. He is also an elder
by StarTrekAngel inhttp://www.themonitor.com/news/local/article_1a041cb4-57c5-11e8-b066-5bb6aab897ac.html.
the man in the article is an elder for two local congregations to south texas.
one of which i used to attend.
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StarTrekAngel
I have an apostate friend of mine who know him better. He may be either helping or has been moved from one congregation to another for assistance. I have not been to meetings in years so I am not sure but he tells me he is or was an elder on two of the three congregations that meet in that hall.
I am writting a letter to the editor to inform her of the connection to the JW
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Fresh of the press. Bus driver for charter school faces six complaints of child abuse. He is also an elder
by StarTrekAngel inhttp://www.themonitor.com/news/local/article_1a041cb4-57c5-11e8-b066-5bb6aab897ac.html.
the man in the article is an elder for two local congregations to south texas.
one of which i used to attend.
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StarTrekAngel
http://www.themonitor.com/news/local/article_1a041cb4-57c5-11e8-b066-5bb6aab897ac.html
The man in the article is an elder for two local congregations to South Texas. One of which I used to attend. Article was posted on a local paper last night. Well known and well respected elder. I never interacted with him personally. I will be following this closely.
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Assisted living for older JWs
by StarTrekAngel ini am asking of your assistance at this time on a topic.
i know this has been briefly covered before but some of the link in old threads are no longer working.
the topic is these communities created for older jws.
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StarTrekAngel
Hi everyone... have not been around here in a while
I am asking of your assistance at this time on a topic. I know this has been briefly covered before but some of the link in old threads are no longer working
The topic is these communities created for older JWs. Here is an example
They claim to have no association with the Watchtower. Are they playing the word game? Like, we are not associated with the Watchtower but omit to mention they are associated with the Christian Congregation of JWs?
An old thread in this forum mentions something about people having to pay for their own until their funds ran out. After that the place would consider supporting you if you had a good recommendation. But those links are no longer working
Wasn't there also a place for retired COs?
Any info you can send my way would be greatly appreciated. Wife chats with this older man who washes the windows at her office. Ironic, I know. The man also organizes trips to Bethel NY and was telling her about how in Canada they have this type of place. I wanted to send my wife some links to look over.