telltruth,
Wow. Seems VERY familiar. But then again, a lot of people have gone through a similar experience. I wholeheartedly agree with what others have posted... it's going to be one hellofa time. I was in your girlfriends position 7 years ago. I met this guy at work who was THE person for me. First I kept it a secret from him that I was a JW. (I know, I was a bad girl.) But then, when I saw that this was a for real thing, I told him. I expected to lose him right then and there, but he stood by me. Looking back now, I wonder if he would have, had he known 1st, what all the JW's believed (he was naive to it all), and 2nd and most importantly, what a toll it would take on both of us.
We (together) went through some VERY, and I do mean excrutiatingly painful moments together (you name it, we got it thrown at us).
I, much like probably your girlfriend feels, felt HORRIBLE about putting my boyfriend throught that. Empathize with her on that. It's beyond words difficult to be able to walk away from, or let alone allow yourself to think HONESTLY about something you've known your whole life (I think she was a 2nd or > generation JW). Plus, at this point she's probably feeling like she needs to make a decision. You or the family/friends/religion? Be prepared for these inner struggles that she'll encounter as she starts to distance herself from the org. She MAY flip-flop too. She may one minute think she needs to end things w/ you. Then she'll want to have nothing to do w/ the religion.... It's all gonna come at you two like a tidal-wave, or avelanche, or whatever else disastrous and devastating that you can think of.
The advice that was given to you already is great. My boyfriend did the same. He always would just ask me questions. He was very intelligent and logical and MOST importantly he was coming from a place of UNCONDITIONAL love. I didn't get that within the organization, and that led me closer and closer to having a clear enough head to do some of my own investigative research on the matter.
You'll have to let her do that too. It may not happen quickly either -- but your support and love will mean the world to her.
Oh yeah, and I can give you the 'happy ending' too; my then boyfriend and I were married a few years ago!! I've been disassociated (unofficially) these last 7 years and couldn't be happier -- for leaving the borg yeah, but mostly for meeting my best friend, my blessing of a husband.
One more thing (sorry): one thing that REALLY made me think was, my husband would always say 'Man, I just don't get how a religion can be so judgemental. Doesn't the Bible say 'Judge Not Lest You Not be Judged'?" Those words didn't phase me at first, but the more and more I heard them (patiently, of course) it really started to sink in.
I wish you two nothing but the best. You're to be commended for doing all of this (already) for this girl. Hang in there & please keep us posted or keep asking questions.
Candlestick
