tions about hello everyone, i'm new here,,,

by telltruth 51 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Candlestick02

  Feedback on going to the KH w/ your friend. Hmm. I think it'd be beneficial for YOU to go...maybe go to another local congregation and walk in on your own and sit in and listen. Or go to a different time that she goes to. (You can always use the excuse that someone you work with -- who goes to yet ANOTHER congregation far away invited you -- cause you walking in by yourself you'll get questioned on to what do they deserve the pleasure of your 'visit.')

  I just see it as a very sensitive, and potentially volatile thing if you even bring up to your friend that you want to go with her. Undoubtedly she'll have that little inkling that is normal for all JW's to have (even if you are sort of on your way out) to go 'oh my, what if he changes for Jehovah? what if he likes what he sees and then becomes one?...then I'll have the best of everything.'

  I'd say you're teetering on the edge of really confusing her if you want to go and appear interested -- attending with her shows interest. It's not like another religion in that you can go and hear the stuff. That being said, I think you SHOULD go, if you want to...and hear just what is being 'fed' there. But, IMHO just not together.

  Plus, take it from me... everyone and their mom will see that you're there "with" her (even if you're not WITH her) and then that'll start the rumor-mill. "Hey, did you see sister so-and-so had some guy sitting w/ her? I wonder if that's her boyfriend." "Maybe he's from another congregation." "Let's go introduce ourselves to him to get the scoop." (They have no lives, remember? anything is juicy gossip...ESPECIALLY if it's a JW who could potentially be dating an unbeliever.)

  While you're at a KH, pay attention to the focus that is placed on an individual's allegiance (my word, not theirs, although implied) to Jehovah AND the organization. That's what a lot of it boils down to. The organization is in their minds the SAME thing as Jehovah God himself, so adhering to any and all policies stemming from the organization are seen as coming from God.

  Let us know how it turns out. Sending some good vibes your way so that things work out the way you will be happy.

  Candlestick
• 

  xjwms

  Hello and welcome
• 

  MerryMagdalene

  I think Candlestick has a good point about not getting your friend's hopes up. If you want to go check it out for yourself, get a feel for what it's like, it might be better if don't go together and don't advertise the fact that you are going to go on your own.

  I was raised JW and, after I left, would return occasionally to check into it again (usually at my mother's request), see if I was being unfairly biased, see if it held any appeal I might have overlooked, and I can honestly say I didn't find anything to draw me back there on a long-term basis. All I would generally feel was pity mixed with disgust and a bit of boredom and frustration. But that's just me. Other people have other experiences.

  Best wishes!

  ~Merry
• 

  jgnat

  Sorry for not responding earlier. I've been busy.

  Let's see, to blend in (which I recommend. You'll get more honest feedback) wear a suit and tie. Carry a small briefcase. Clean shaven, short hair. Let's see how long it takes them to figure out you are NOT a JW.

  If you DON'T want to blend in, they'll probably discreetly assign an Elder or MS to sit with you. To NOT fit in, wear a t-shirt, have facial hair.

  Watch to see who gets attention and who doesn't. You may be love-bombed, with lots of attention and welcomes and offers. Count the number of times you are touched.

  In the public talk, see if you can spot any broad generalizations and false assumptions. Does the conclusion match the facts?

  Most interesting for non-JW's is the magazine study at the end of the Sunday meeting. This event is choreographed in the most remarkable manner. If you want to blend in, you'll need the magazine being studied that week, highlighted. If you don't bring a magazine, someone will give you a spare. Keep in mind BEFORE THIS WEEKLY STUDY this article has been read, re-read to highlight, and read again for the reminders, at home, by everyone there. During the magazine study, they will re-read the article again and comment on each paragraph. Count them, that's four times read through. For a Jehovah's Witness, this is called meditation. I call it memorization, or perhaps, hypnotism. Nevertheless, most will have forgotten the salient points within minutes. You can test this out at the end of the meeting when someone invariably asks, "Wasn't that a good talk/study?" Ask them right back which was their favorite part.

  P.S. Sit near the back if you can. You may notice a few who slink in at the beginning of the meeting and discreetly leave before it's over. These are disfellowshipped JW's who are trying to get reinstated. They are not permitted to talk to anyone there. It takes at least six months of this to be reinstated. And they can't skip any meetings.
• 

  Candlestick02

  good points, jgnat.

  One more thing, if you DO want to blend in, also no earrings or facial piercings (hey, you never know)... and don't bring a Bible if it's not the New World Translation. If you have a King James or something else you'll be spotted as a fake.

  TTFN

  CS02
• 

  telltruth

  thanks so much for the feedback so far. just to clarify: this is for research only. the working plan is to present myself if questioned as someone who is interested/open to "the truth" and wanted to observe the congregation for myself. thank you for your... insert appropriate response here...

  but I am just comfortable being here at the moment, perhaps we can speak another time. i'll let you know, thank you. i am free of any face metal,etc. so won't be a problem there. i also am clean cut, neat in appearance, cordial, etc. by nature so none of this will jive either. in a suit half the time so once again, no problem. i had planned on being open about non-jw status if questioned, merely considering/interested, etc.

  also my friend will not be made aware of my attendance before or after... again i will and do not support jw anything. also recognize the potential for this being viewed as positive by my friend, so as was suggested, this will be kept to myself. futhermore, i have a short work related trip out of province coming soon and will attend while i'm there. please everyone who has something, anything to comment...do. i continue to await your posts. thank you so much everyone.
• 

  Check_Your_Premises

  TellTruth,

  As I told you before, and you appear to be heeding this advice, don't "try anything" to open your loved ones eyes until you study that book.

  In the mean time, by all means gather any information or ask any questions you want. The key is not to ask a question, whose answer is "jw are bad". Rhetorical questions are also probably not a good idea.

  You need to start doing something, and now is as good a time as any. You have to cultivate a persona or a character. Kind of like an actor. You are some one who is "open to the truth" (that is lingo for beleiving the dub version of truth). Seeking truth is your highest motivation. What that means is you are willing to look at facts or information that could cause you to reasonably conclude that the jw are the one true religion.

  Now the way to keep this persona and not have it be phony, is to actually mean it. Let me explain. You are operating in an open paradigm. The jw will like this at first because you are open to their gibberish. They will eventually be irritated by it though, because that also means you are willing to look at facts and info that might lead you to the conclusion they ARE NOT the right religion. They will be annoyed by this, but they can't defend their position that you shouldn't look at such things in any rational way. They will mumble something about apostates. This is just for future reference mind you. Don't go causing any trouble yet.

  Just work on your persona. You are interested and open. And start thinking of these folks as victims, not hostiles. It will make you more believable, and it is actually what they are.
• 

  telltruth

  good day everyone. have picked up copies of both of hassans books. if anyone can add suggestions for additional material, please do. actually anything anyone had add to help would be appreciated. i understand that everyone hear has their own life to live, so any time or words you can send my way just know... they mean everything to me. thank you all so much.
• 

  jgnat

  Nice to hear from you again. By the way, would you like to tell us more about your ladylove? What features make her so appealing?

  I figure we don't do this nearly enough. People in love, love to talk about it!
• 

  telltruth

  nice to hear from you jgnat. in order to protect my friends privacy, and let's face it, safety; all i can really say is that she is just one of the most kind and thoughtful people i've met. the jw aspect of her was kept from me for some time and as we grew closer it came out as though it were a confession of sorts. she seemed almost ashamed. she was afraid to speak of it at all at first. so i just let her know that she should feel open to discuss her "religion" or anything for that matter. and things progressed. i have the succinct impression that she is testing the waters of freedom, developing "thoughts of her own" in fact i know she is, this is the person who connected with me and the connection continues to grow. i am doing my absolute best to avoid any mistakes as if i fail my thoughts are she may not have another chance. i often wonder how or why our paths crossed and have come to feel that i am in the situation i am as i have the right qualities to help. i just feel it in my head and heart.