Prisca,
I'll be bold enough to say you might be addressing one of my responses from another thread. If I'm wrong, please excuse me. If I'm correct, you know which one I'm talking about. I think Trevor made an excellent point:
A normal mind will listen to all the facts and then form an opinion. Witnesses will not allow the facts into their minds, either by walking away from the attempted breach of the wall or letting the wall prevent the attempted intrusion. As far as they are concerned they already have all the facts and their commission is to convince you that they have the truth.
The thing I STILL struggle with as an ex-JW is not forming an opinion too quickly. Thinking I have ALL the facts because of my experiences only. How narrow-minded and self-absorbed can I get?! For instance, just because child-molestation within the WTS didn't happen to me, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. That would be pretty selfish, right?
Take posting on this board for example. Kent posts an article with his usual "colorful" style. Yes, they are laced with profanities, BOLD LETTERS, exclamation points and sometimes rudeness. My first question after reading it is, "What is the message? What are the FACTS that he is trying to convey to me?"
Other questions I ask myself:
Am I the only one involved in this situation?
If not, how are others affected?
What are others reactions to this situation?
What is their perspective?
Why are they reacting that way?
What is in their background to form their opinion?
Is the delivery of a message skewed because of their personal opinion?
Does my opinion matter?
Am I giving it to share a differing perspective or am I doing it just to stir the pot?
Of course, I don't physically go down this list everytime I read a controversial post. But separating fact from emotion is imperative for me to GET THE MESSAGE. If I let my personal opinions about profanity or BOLD LETTERS get in the way, then I may miss out on facts or information that I need to be aware of. Do I want to be close-minded like that? My answer is no.
I have been in and out of therapy for over 10 years to de-program my JW mentality. (JW viewpoint = "My viewpoint is the ONLY viewpoint that's valid.") Am I officially de-programmed today? No. Prolly won't happen. But damn, I'm going to work my butt off the best I can! What does that mean now? I listen to all the viewpoints. I search for facts. I form my opinion, which can change if I get more information. I DON'T necessarily always feel a need to share my opinion. (Sometimes that does more damage than good. Besides, does anybody else really want my opinion?) And then let time prove to me what is "truth".
Andi - breaking down my "wall" brick by brick