My first topic, my struggles with the dubs.

by the_leander 25 Replies latest jw experiences

  • TheListener
    TheListener

    I'm glad you found us and posted Leander.

    Welcome to the board.

    I really feel for you. The situation you're in is dificult at best.

    I couldn't tell from your post (perhaps it's just me) but how long has your wife been reinstated? There are times when a newly converted witness or a reinstated witness goes through a zealout period. They tend to calm down after a year or two. Not everyone but a large majority. Perhaps she's still in this zealout period and will slowly become more apathetic toward the truth in time.

    Not much consolation I know.

    You have a right to live a happy and productive life. You also have the right to teach your children your beliefs, even if your family's beliefs differ.

    Please feel free to vent to us. That's one way we can support each other.

  • searching4?
    searching4?

    I am so sorry for what you are going through. As a parent, I can't imagine what it must be like to have no control over the way your children are exposed to the witnesses. I strongly feel that marriage is important and sacred and everytrhing should be done to save your marriage, and it sounds like you have. I commend you for that. You sound like a concerned and loving father and I hope that through your love your children will have a balanced upbringing. Best Wishes to you and WELCOME

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    WOW leander! You really have had the nasty end of the JWs. I too really feel for what you;ve been through. You are exemplary as to whats RIGHT with non jws and whats wrong with those caught up in it.

    I wasn't sure - but are you back with your wife or planning to be now?

    best wishes

    crumpet x a fellow brit

  • Legolas
    Legolas

    Welcome to the board!

    I am sorry you are going through this.

    They have 'real' love don't they...NOT!

  • toby888
    toby888

    I feel your pain. Keep strong. There is nothing wrong with you... it's the stupid cult.

  • Sheepish
    Sheepish

    This must be totally devestating. My mom did the same thing to my father, in that she returned after the first child was born.

    My immediate advice is, don't contribute to making her a martyr. Love her all you can.It probably won't be long before she wearies of it again. Something will come up, and she needs to have you to lean on. Especially work on your relationship with your children, otherwise they will become estranged, and will believe anything told to them about you.

    We're all here for you.

  • AlmostAtheist
    AlmostAtheist

    Wow, welcome to the board. Sorry it's under such circumstances.

    I hope you can get some help here in helping your wife, or soothing your pain at the very least.

    Dave

  • Plummet
    Plummet

    Welcome

    Sorry to hear that your wife is dying to you in the same way that she died to her family. Thats sad.

    I hope things get better for you.

  • forsharry
    forsharry

    oh man...your post tore at my heart. I am SO sorry to hear that this is happening in your life. ::HUGS::

    You have friends here...you can rant and blow off steam if you wish...it's not the perfect solution, but you will find understanding and support here, and that can be a good start.

    As far as what to do? Wow...you're a good man, leander. You're sticking through crap that most people would have given a person up for. I can't imagine just how difficult it is with children either...but I think others have said it and it might be a good course of action for right now...just show her you love her (if that is the case :). Don't argue about her beliefs or try to make her read or listen to things that are against the jw religion...cause it will only hasten her departure from your side. I would however, if you haven't done so, tell her the very same line you told us about how she's dying to you now that she's back in the religion. That was hitting it head-on.

    Other than that? Yet another heartbreaking post of how this cult ruins lives, loves, families. It's not right. It's just not right.

    Sad Cross-eyed

  • MerryMagdalene
    MerryMagdalene

    Wow. Rough road.

    As you can see, you'll get lots of support here, but you may want to get other support as well. Friends, family, professional counseling to assist you in developing more effective ways of dealing with this. Your son will need you to be strong and a set a good example for unconditional love and personal empowerment. So, like many of us (X-JW or not), you may need to repair and strengthen your self-esteem.

    a pathetic excuse for a human being, and now, to finish off the job, they're putting on the full show for my 20 month old son, I'm going to have to watch as they destroy him, as they destroyed her, and render him unable to function without industrial strengh meds, just like his mother.

    You don't have to watch them destroy your son. You can find ways to counteract that. But, as it is not likely to be easy, you need to develop your mental, emotional, and physical strength and develop strong outside support. One step at a time. Start small and work up. Don't try to deal with everything all at once.

    FaithHopeLove

    ~Merry

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