If there is any way of documenting the adultry, do it! It may come in handy in the future when custody of children becomes an issue.
I'm sorry for the crap you are living in. I wish you well!
carm
My first topic, my struggles with the dubs.
by the_leander 25 Replies latest jw experiences
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dedpoet
Greetings leander, welcome to the board
I really feel for you, and I sincerely hope that things do turn out well for you
take care my friend
dedpoet
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Kaylen
Leander,
Welcome to the board. . Hopefully we can all help each other.
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the_leander
I'd like to thank everyone who has responded to my initial post, I'm sorry I've not been able to reply as freely as I should have, but whilst I don't mind the idea of someone who knows everyone involved reading it online, it would cause undue pressure for me if the missus read it first hand until I'm ready to make my next move (or maybe even a few moves after).
I've studied a little of the history of the witnesses here and elsewhere online, and know their tactics inside out.
I was once in one of my darker, more stupid moments a scientologist, which whilst it was a terrible move (thats typical British understatement, if you didn't guess), did come with some perks - an innate understanding of how to control people and spot such tactics being used on others. I vowed never to use what I know against anyone when I pulled away from them (and have kept that vow), but I made damned sure I was up to snuff on spotting such mechanisms being used on others.
I even made the point of going through in exacting detail what those controls were after each home visit, from body posture, to the use of emotional blackmail and the loaded language. Each time, I made sure she understood precisely how they were attempting to control her. Hell, on a couple of occations I ended up telling the woman who used to do the visits to sit back as her body language was opressive (Which went down quicker then a lead balloon I can tell you - they really don't like this stuff being pointed out to them).
I am however, at a loss to what my next move is, certainly, I cannot go on treading on eggshells as I have done for the past 20 or so months, and if I go to war, (courts etc) the victory would at best be pyrrhic... I guess what I'm asking is, what are my other options? -
vitty
Do you want to get her out or do you want to leave her ??
Its different with everyone, what they respond to. If you want her out, that can be quite difficult but not impossible. Find out what she dislikes or disagrees with. There is usually something!
After reading your story, she has given herself to the WT knowing all the pain it has caused, but now she has a child it has huge pulling power. She thinks this will save her and her baby from sure death, this is the reason I went back in the org when I was 24. My husband followed me in 5 years later, if he hadnt I dont know what would have happened, maybe I now be alone in the org or out earlier than I was. Who knows ? I was in for 20 years and my adult daughter is still in. You must do something now for your child. I dont know if anyone has pointed to posts made by ITHIKISEE but he showed his wife the error of the WT and now they are both out ! He did it really well without her feeling threatened.
Good luck
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BluesBrother
Hello and welcome..
Many of us here are now unbelieving mates. I have been treading on eggshells for several years now , since becoming technically 'inactive' in J W parlance, as my wife maintains her very strong faith, even if health stops her being so regularly involved in the congregation . Yes, we are called "Followers of Satan" "Doing the Devils work on the internet" etc
Your situation is very extreme and very sad. The root of it though is very common, Grandparents want to have their grandchild , simple as that. Unbelievers like us do not count at all. The posters here have made some good suggestions, All I can say is "Good luck " and best of wishes