Hello Poppy! I don't make many post here although I have been around here a long time. I was moved by your situation and the doubts about the credibility of the WTBS. So I thought I would post my two cents worth. First, it sounds as if you want to leave the plantation (called the org). You need to lay some ground work and take stock of the situation you are in. For example you have a husband who is still in. Is he reasonable? How does he (or other family members) react to you missing the meetings? There are many post here about the best way to fade and fly under the radar of the elders (sometime known as the gestapo). As your powers of reason begin to come back, you will begin to see the WTBS in a much different light. Caution: do not become confrontational! This only feeds the feeding fenzy that the org has programed the dubs to engage in. Please keep posting as this will be a source help in your journey out to freedom. (note: freedom is not free)