How many here were mistreated by their "elder" fathers?

hubert

I am starting to notice some posts about ex-j.w.'s being mistreated, abused, by their fathers who were elders.

I wonder if this is quite common?

Hubert

I was physically and mentally abused by my elder father. I was sexually abused by him as well, but he takes care to point out that was before he was a JW. He just hid it for 25 years, and then the elders helped him cover it up. My father has stepped down as an elder, even though the body of elders in his congregation said he could remain one.

Lady Lee

My father was never a JW (my parents had separated before my mother started studying) But my 2 daughters were emotionally and physically abused by their father who rose to the position of elder. More than once I had to pull him off the girls when his punishment got went beyond a spanking. More than once it involved kicking them. And at the meetings he would pinch them to make them sit still. I would be furious when I would be changing them at night to see the bruises he left with his nails.

When I left their father he bribed the girls to stay with him and I was in ni shape to fight. But before a year was up the girls were begging me to let them come live with me. My lawyer had told me there was nothing he could do unless we had some kind of physical marks on the girls. The abuse got so bad the girls got their own lawyer to have the custody changed.

My oldest daughter who now has 3 children has told me she will never let her father babysit the kids.

freedomlover

I was emotionally and mentally abused by my elder stepfather for my whole life. The man is like a Nazi. He was extremely unloving, harsh, and unreasonable. Yet at the kingdom hall he was the model elder, treated eveyone so kindly, and then we got home and he transformed into the jerk that he truly was. Totally hypocritical.

garybuss

I was treated much better by my father than my mother. My father was only condescending, manipulative, controlling, and dismissive. My mother was abusive physically and verbally.

Billygoat

I was emotionally and mentally abused by my elder stepfather for my whole life. The man is like a Nazi. He was extremely unloving, harsh, and unreasonable. Yet at the kingdom hall he was the model elder, treated eveyone so kindly, and then we got home and he transformed into the jerk that he truly was. Totally hypocritical.

(((((freedomlover)))))) This is all too familiar to me. My grandmother once said that my father couldn't help it...he was a Gemini...a man with two faces. But I think she said that to cover up the fact that she abused him for years and that he had just become what she taught him to become. Andi

Riverview

Yeah my father was an Elder and mistreated (abused) me and my brothers.

He was a sicko.

chris.

wannaexit

My father was an elder for many years. He was a very emotionally disturbed man. He yelled all the time. I was always very afraid of him as was the rest of my family.

As a young teenager I would often ask my mother: "if Jehovah appoints the elders, then why would he appoint my father". Her answer was that in time Jehovah would see fit to remove him. Well Jehovah never removed him.

My father had two personalities. The congregation saw the kind one and his family saw the ugly one.

Through the years I've come to learn of many very disfunctional elders who treated their families like dirt.

These are the men that rule over other peoples lives. Makes me shudder!

wanna

Effervescent

Oh yes. My father loved to hit us. He even had a large wooden paddle that he'd bring out, and tell us to bend over the couch. We had to grab onto the back for dear life and try not to make a sound until it was over. If we made any noise sometimes he'd start over. I can remember many a time hiding bruises from the middle of my back to my knees when I changed for gym class. I don't know why, but I was terrified that anyone would see them and report my Dad.

This is the same man who would give talks all over the state about loving your children and having a warm Christian family. I think it's an Elder prerequisite to be a pompous hypocrite.

Virgogirl

Mine seldom spanked me, but when he drank, he was verbally abusive and said cruel things sometimes that made me cry. At the Hall he was distant because he was too busy with important elder matters and meetings in the back room.