by hubert 31 Replies latest jw friends
i think what hurt the most was not the actually beatings i took... or the words my father used... it was the fact that my mother just sat back and let it happen... never once did i hear her tell him off... i guess thats what you get for being the unwanted adopted child... but she just sat there and let it happen, she knew and didnt seem to care... makes me wish my real parents had lived...
the infamous one
Yes
I should NOT have read this right after I ate lunch.....it seriously made me sick to the point of throwing up.
My heart goes out to each and every one of you. My children were often 'disciplined' by their father with a huge oak paddle. Most times it was to excess. I was one of those mothers that sat back with tears streaming down my face while my child looked at me before they were 'disciplined'. I was the mother that all the other kids asked, 'Why don't you stand up to him, Mom? Why do you put up with this, Mom? How can you let him do this, Mom?" I seek forgiveness and understanding to this day. I don't know why. It's all I knew how to do and I'm sorry. (my kids have never expressed any resentment towards me over this since they have grow up, but my guilt remains)
We used to get in huge arguments over it but I was told that unless I could come up with a different answer, that is what he would do to keep them in line and 'save their lives'. None of my suggestions were ever the right ones. I'm so very, very sorry.
Maybe some of your moms were like this and feel the same now? I don't know.
i think what hurt the most was not the actually beatings i took... or the words my father used... it was the fact that my mother just sat back and let it happen... never once did i hear her tell him off...
That's another thing I struggle with. My step-mom, who truly did love me as much as she could, didn't ever stop him when he was beating us. Funny thing though...I don't EVER remember him laying a hand on her. It was always us kids. From what she told me years later it was because of her that when I turned 16, the naked beatings stopped. I may have gotten grounded or slapped around, but never did I get spanked after that. They got married when I turned 10. Why did it take her 6 years to get him to stop???
Billygoat...is your Step-mother still around to ask her? I feel so horrible....
yes, my sister and I both were beaten with a belt regularly. My dad (elder) could whip his belt off in one smooth move, and make a snapping sound. Sometimes we had to pull our pants down. Once I remember my mom pulling my sister's pants down, she was brusied from her hips to her knees. My mom said to my dad...how would you like it if I pulled her pants down in front of the elders? Of course she didn't.
The last belt beating I got was on my graduation night from highschool....because I wanted to go out and do things with my "worldly" friends. It was so bad that night, that I called the elders myself. They said they couldn't get involved...it was family matters. Never again did I go to them for any help...
lisa
I just read BillyGoat's post about her father.
I know he is your dad, but .... it is making my blood boil thinking about it.
All the best ...
-ithinkisee
It was so bad that night, that I called the elders myself. They said they couldn't get involved...it was family matters. Never again did I go to them for any help...
I did this once. We were very close to our bookstudy conductor in Hawaii. He really was a wonderful man, to this day I really respect and miss him. I met him at a diner, close to my high school, to tell him about my father's behavior. B.K. told me that he couldn't really do anything, but pray for me. Since it was a family matter and since my father wasn't breaking any laws, that he couldn't do anything.
Never again did I go to the brothers for help either. Bastards. They're quick to get involved when there is some little sexual tidbit to wrap their ears around, but they can't help when it's obvious a housefull of children are getting beaten with belts when they're naked??? *shaking head* God's people my @$$!
Sorry. Remembering that really pisses me off!
Wow....I never read this till today because only me, my husband and son and daughter were 'in' so it didn't apply to me!
I was my fathers shadow growing up, if you seen him you seen me. He was and still is the BEST father anyone could ever ask for and my husband is the same way!
I feel for ALL of you!
My father was an Elder, then P.O. in our cong. His mouth was worse than a sailor's. F**k was a very popular word for him, as was S**t, God D**nit, etc. My Mother and him fought a lot, and there were lots of choice words and name calling used. One time when they were fighting, my mother slapped him, and he started strangling her until she was turning red. I jumped in between, and yelled at my father to stop it. My mother then proceeded to beat the S**t out of me, as she said that she had deserved what he was doing to her, and I had no right to try to stop him. There were many times when my father would say to me "I hate you", "Your not my son", "You make me sick". All of this, and he had the Kahoona's to get on stage and give talks, and pretend to be a wonderful example of family life.
I guess the time I caught him smoking a cigarette in our garage doesn't count as mistreatment, so I guess I won't mention that...
