by yesidid 48 Replies latest jw friends
Nathan Nates : District Convention & Skit Fest
I laughed out loud at that one. Perfect. What fun! Let's pack a light lunch and some beverages in plastic bottles and go see some Deliverance skits! I love watching people move their mouths and flap their arms to recordings straight from Bethel. WhooHoo!
This is off-topic but Danny's post reminded me of this (from the 20 November 1978 issue of The Onion; aka p. 128 of Our Dumb Century):
Anthropomorphic Juice Pitcher Among Dead in Jonestown Cult Suicide
Cyanide-Laced Juice Found Inside Giant Pitcher's Glass Body
Deceased Container as Yet Unidentified
Enormous Pitcher-shaped Hole Found in Jungle Commune's Wall
FRENCH GUYANA --. Personnel charged with identifying the bodies of Jonestown cult-suicide victims reported yesterday that they have discovered a giant anthropomorphic juice pitcher among the 917 dead. FBI investigators discovered the male, 6'7", 400-pound pitcher while sifting through a pile of bodies which included that of People's Temple leader Jim Jones. While the investigators initially assumed the pitcher was inanimate, closer examination revealed arms, legs, hands, feet, and a crude but expressive face transformed into a hideous grin by the onset of rigor mortis.
The deceased pitcher still contained a small amount of cyanide-laced punch, investigators said, leading them to suspect that he may have been involved in the planning of the mass murder-suicide.
Criminal profilers in Jonestown say that the presence of the anthropomorphic pitcher may also explain the enormous, pitcher-shaped hole in one of the jungle commune's walls.
"This hole gives rise to some very disturbing questions: Was the giant, man-like pitcher, made of ordinary glass, so compelled by something -- religious fanaticism, perhaps, or an obsessive need to quench the thirst of others -- that he found the strength to burst through a brick wall?" FBI profiler Stanley Hallock asked. "Only exhaustive police work will determine whether this was a sinister pitcher who wanted to knock out hundreds of innocents or just a 'mule,' an unwitting deliveryman who wanted only to knock out their thirst."
Thus far, FBI examination of a tape recording made a People's Temple member killed in the massacre is inconclusive. Though most of the tape's content is muffled by static, at one point, a faint voice can be heard yelling an indiscernible two-word cry. The shout is preceded by the sound of collapsing masonry, described by investigators as a "crash" or "banga-booma" sound.
A Dubuque, Iowa, woman has been in contact with authorities regarding the pitcher's identity. Though her name is not being made public, it is believed she had a sexual relationship with the pitcher before he left America, presumably to join the cult.
According to the police, the woman reported that the pitcher had begun to act strangely before his disappearance, speaking of something important and wonderful he'd stumbled into, "a new awakening". The woman had asked him if everything was okay, and he simply said, "Oh yeah. Oh yeah."
In subsequent conversations, the pitcher is said to have become more eccentric, talking about new flavors with which to fill his pitcher, such as "Jammin' Jonesberry" and "Purple's Temple". He then left for French Guyana, never to be seen alive again.
I always feel bad for the poor Kool-Aid man. He had nothing to do with it. Does Flavor-Aid have a mascot?
At least they might give obey, obedience, conform, act upon, observe, comply, abide by, submit, respect, follow the FDS to the death, a break.
Or maybe not. It will probably be as well as, not instead of.
David
remember back in the early 70's when we had tracts that we HAD to deliver to "someone" at every door......no conversation was allowed---we were trained to just say that "THIS was a very important and urgent warning we were handing out to people worldwide---here is your copy (place it in the hand of the householder and walk away).......
OMG I remember that one! Geeze, I bet I must have placed 200 of those damn tracts in one morning!
I can't remember if I posted this, but at the last Circus Assembly (yes, I said circus, not circuit) which I did NOT attend, but was told about, the speaker announced that "every prophecy in Daniel has been fulfilled" and that they were just waiting for the other shoe to drop. So yes, I can see the pattern already gearing everyone up for next summer's assembly where they'll probably lay off bashing the internet for a while and focus on scaring the crap out of everyone again by announcing that Armageddon's a-comin' to get you. They'll probably have all kinds of "evidence" to show that "this wicked old System of Things" can't last much longer and that we'll be in Paradise sooooooooon so you better make sure you get those ten forty hours of Service in every month unless you want to suffer the Second Death!
Yes, they are in the toenails of the image.
We're actually just waiting for the paint on the toes to dry, and then The End will come.
Don't forget the sparkles.
Ya, it does have a "Millions Now Living" feel to it!!
