by tetrapod.sapien 100 Replies latest jw friends
if any of you feel like praying and having your prayers heard and answered, feel free to send a prayer to me at [email protected]
i hear all prayers, and answer all prayers. i will try to fulfill those within my powers, but i will be honest with you homo sapiens and say that i will not be able to fulfill all of them. but pray anyways. tetragod will hear and answer.
or you can post your prayers here.
cheers my lovely subjects,
tetragod
I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.........
You pick the winning numbers for me almighty tetragod! I believe!
biker chick, thanks for playing praying.
let's go with 24, 27, 45, 13, 62, 8
and THAT, is an answered prayer. best wishes,
tetragod
hear me tetragod
The Lord's Prayer
Our Flying Spaghetti Monster,
Who art in orbit around Ramen 324,
Hallowed be thy Noodly Appendage.
Thy Pasta al dente, They Sauce be done,
On earth as it is on dishes.
Give us this day our daily meatball,
And forgive us our diets,
As we forgive those who eat fried chicken.
And lead us not into starvation,
But deliver us from tofu.
For thine is the Meatballs,
And the Pasta,
And the Sauce,
Now and forever.
RAmen.
From the Book of Pasta: Chapter 23
1) The Flying Spaghetti Monster is my buddy; I shall not starve.
2) He maketh me to lie in green parsley: He leadeth me beside marinara.
3) He filleth my stomach: He leadeth me in the paths of satire for entertainment’s sake.
4) Yea, though I walk through the world of the low-carb craze, I will fear no diet: for thou art with me; thy noodly appendage it comforts me.
5) Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of Parmesan: thou annointest my salad with oil; my beer foameth over.
6) Surely meatballs and garlic will follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of good food forever; RAmen.
O' Great One,
People pray to you under a variety of names -- may I inquire, which is the right one?
And is there any way for me to make a few bucks off those that don't know it yet?
In SNG's name... Amen.
Dave
Oh Great, Powerful and All Wise Tetrapod, may your praises be blasted in unison by a thousand marching bands on College Football Saturday. Thank you and Simonized be your holy name for the squirells digging holes in my yard. Your blessings are abundant as shown by the number of divots I have to repair, and your munificence manifest in providing plenty of rodents for us to enjoy at our humble table. I ask that you continue to provide a food chain for our family, and a personal note, where have all our left socks gone? Thank you for your indifferent benevolence, in Dick Cheney's Holy Name, Amun.
Tetragod pray that I will be able to sue my doctor successfully for damaging my vocal cords. Also, pray that I have strength to keep working and to make good decisions regarding my life.
Thanks
Tetragod?!!? Puhhleeze. Behold! I offer you all the kingdoms of the world if you bow down in one act of worship to Satan, The Doodle!
-Sincerely,
Satan The Doodle
tetragod- 1
all other "gods"- 0
u/d(of the goes with results class)
At first i thought this was baloney, then I figured, "Why not? I need a new hat."
So I went into my innermost chamber and prayed to TetraGod. Having laid my burdens upon him, I dismissed my concerns from my mind.
Later that morning, while leaving the Original Pancake House in Ballard, I found a rain-soaked Mariner's baseball hat in the gutter snagged by the front passenger side wheel of my Suburban Asault Vehicle. I'm running it through the dishwasher right now. When it dries I will have the hat that was the secret longing of my soul.
Thank you, TetraGod!
...just for the record, though - I'm a hetero sapiens, ok?
