JWs show up at my dad's surgery. (page 3)

LittleToe

Eewwwww - that situation sux. You did well to keeop it together.

How's your dad today, and are you holding up ok?

I am sorry for the way y'all were treated. I guess your Mom felt as tho' the only 'real' help would come from these 'highly trained' Elders. It is sad that she had to lean on him during this stressful situation.

My Dad was not a JW, when my JW Mom needed a blood transfusion a few years ago. 1/2 of my family are JW's. 3 Elders from the "Hospital Liaison Committee' showed up to make sure the WT tenets were followed. My Dad was trying to respect her wishes, but knew nothing about the different blood fractions that JW's can take with a 'clear' conscience and my Mom had not been specific. I very much doubt if she had ANY understanding of it. She was not able to communicate by this time.

The Elders and my JW relatives convinced my Dad that she could not accept ANY blood products. There was nothing ever said to him (I later found out) that let him know for instance, that she COULD have taken Hemoglobin.

Hemoglobin comprises 97% of a red blood cell, the remaining 3% is basically the outside membrane of the cell. Hemoglobin is the only part that carries oxygen, which was the only thing she needed. Yet, the WT says JW's can take the inside of the cell, but not the outside -- with the inside. Does that make any sense ??

I was later told that the reason my Dad & other non-dubs weren't told about this other 'conscience matter' choice of hemoglobin, was "We thought it would be confusing to him (my Dad is an engineer & physicist) ...that some Witnesses could accept things that others could not. It's important to show that Witnesses believe the same all over the world."

I kid you not. By the way, my Mom died, uselessly over that nonsense. My JW relatives were proud she died 'faithful.'

*sigh*

Rabbit

Hellrider

Rabbit: You and your father should sue them for it! My family was in kind of the same situation, when my mother had her cancer-surgery, but we threw out the "sisters" that were there for "spiritual support" (upholding the blood law...), and basically forced our JW-mother to accept the blood tranfusion. Is she hadn`t, she would have died (the doctor was astonished that she had even survived the surgery). So we made her have the tranfusion, she recovered, and lived for almost two more years. She had no conscience problems about the blood (as we knew she wouldn`t, kind of hard to explain, she was a...strange woman), because us "forcing her" made it possible for her to "lay the blame on us". The "blood was on our hands", so to speak...

If she had felt that she had to say no because of the sister, and died as a consequence, I would have fu##ing gone medieval on their fat a§§es. I say you should sue!

caz

Hi there Darth,

I hope that your Dad continues to improve and I am sorry that your own Mum ignored you and your sister at a time when you needed to hold together. I know that would have really hurt!

When my Mum was dying, I remember the resentment that I felt every time my (then) jw sister and her hangers off attended the hosp' and nursing home that mum stayed in. My Mum wasn't a witness but they insisted on reading the 'Holy scriptures' to her every visit when all I wanted to do was to sit and hold her.

But after losing mum, they convinced me that i should study too because she was going to be "resurrected" and I would never see her again because the "end" would come during my lifetime and that would be that unless I was a jw.....yadda yadda yadda, you know the rest!!! Then whilst studying I had to undergo a major operation . It was an internaly performed surgery and the risk of a large bleed was quite high.

I was terrified about the op' but also because I had 7 children who needed their mum. So how did I let them convince me that I should opt' for NO BLOOD products should the need arise?

I was sitting there telling the aneasthesist that i was to have no blood ( with them standing right behind me), the surgeon was concerned and as was the aneasthesist as was i, my heart wasn't in what i was saying at all but I was surrounded by jw's and all the anti blood literature.

I was cajoled into it for sure, i was convinced that i would never see any of my family again in the new system if I didn't do it their way!!!

Thank the universe that nothing went wrong but I dread to think of how my children would have coped if it had......I really wasn't putting their well being 1st and I'm a good Mum......as i'm sure yours is.....they are very clever at making a woman put her children in 2nd place!

CaZ

Ps: I'm sure it's not an issue but if anyone is wondering why I always make my posts so large, it's not because i'm trying to be noticed!! lol!

It's because I have trouble reading the smaller print and I do it automatically.

Mary

Bottom line is that my mother had plenty of support there for her......but when my mother totally blew us off for this stranger we both felt totally unappreciated and unloved.

Yes but as Witnesses, they're told that people at the Hall are their "real family"...forget about your worldly flesh and blood. Dumb assholes.

I didn’t think about this until she mentioned it but Cody was there to intervene with the blood issue if necessary. If I had realized this while I was there that perhaps I would indeed have told him to leave.

So now they're there to make sure that non-Witnesses refuse blood transfusions too eh? My god..........

I guess the positive news is that my dad's surger went well. He spent the night in an ICU but has now been moved to his own room.

Glad to hear this. If Tweedle-Dee or Tweedle-Dum show up again, you should tell them to get the hell out and don't come back.

jgnat

First of all, I'd want to strangle the receptionist! That was a life-threatening surgery, and may have been the last time you had to talk to him. For that alone, I'd be writing the administration.

The HLC guy? Annoying as heck.

Your mom? Blissfully unaware.

Sorry you had to go through that.

When your dad's better, get him to write up his wishes in regard to medical care, and to designate someone to represent his wishes. That was a close call!

Billygoat

((((Darth)))) I'm sorry your momma treated you that way. She's blind. She can't see you for what you really are. A great son.

Andi

Darth Yhwh

If it ever happens again, I would ask him directly what purpose he is serving and who requested his presence. Put the spotlight on him and make him explain everything he does. Turn it around, so he is the outsider, not you and your sister.

Atypical, this is good advice. I was thinking about how I would react in this situation if it happened again and I agree with what you’re saying here.

Rabbit, I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. This is a terrible tragedy and is typical of what JW families are going though around the world. The WBTS’s position on abstinence from blood not only doesn’t make sense but is also directly responsible for loss of life. The WBTS is blood guilty in my mind. You mentioned the “Hospital Liaison Committee”. That’s exactly where Cody was from. I couldn’t remember the acronym on his ID badge or what it stood for until I read your post. Thanks for sharing your story. It helps to realize that I’m not alone in this kind of experience.

Caz, thank you for your kind word and for sharing your story as well. I’m sorry to hear about your mother. I’m also glad that you pulled through your personal ordeal.

Thanks to rebel8, daystar, LittleToe, hellrider, mary, jgnat, and Andi for your support. I knew that every one here on JWD would be able to appreciate the difficulty I had to endure.

On a positive note. My dad is home from the hospital today. If he can manage to take it easy and follow the doctors orders all should be well for some time. We haven’t actually talked to the doctor yet. No one in the family has been present when he’s come in to see my dad and you can’t rely on my dad to pass along medical information from the doctor accurately. LOL My dad has an appointment in another week to go back for a check up so I should get more information regarding his overall prognosis and restrictions then.

The other thing that bothers me is that my dad would make a decision like this. My father agreed to go along with a bloodless surgery option on his own free will, although I'm sure it was done under pressure from my mother and misguidance from the WBTS. To date I’ve made trying to talk some sense into my mother regarding the WBTS’s lies my priority. This ordeal has got me thinking that I perhaps I need to begin the educational process for my father as well.

bebu

Wow, that sounds like a horrible experience! The fact that your dad came thru it salvaged the day, though, like you said. Whew!

If you have to go thru something like this again, I hope your mom can understand that you hoped that your family could support each other. Maybe your dad can ask her to simply try to get along with you, for his sake!

You made some very good points to your mom. I hope they haunt her.

bebu

CountryGuy

Glad to hear that your dad is well enough to come home. I know how frustrating it had to be to sit there though that while your dad was in surgery.

CountryGuy

JWs show up at my dad's surgery.

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