Mother strikes again - My sister doesn't even get a funeral

by Lady Lee 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    I am so p*ssed off

    My mother just called and has taken over all the arrangements. Granted it's her daughter that just died but she hated my sister and took out all her rage on her. Not that the rest of us got anything good. She hated us all equally.

    No funeral service. Can't put everyone out now can we? Why make the effort to go and pay our respects when none of us could get along with her when she was alive? What she really doesn't want is some kind of mixing with the unclean apostate.

    I had to bite my tongue.

    Robin will be cremated (OK by me) and then it seems she is going up north with my mother. Well it's about f**g time she takes her daughter home.

    No service - nothing. Forget we might have some feelings and a need to mourn and say our goodbyes. Well seems we can do that anywhere - right?

    What am I talking about - she doesn't have any feelings. And because she has no feelings she thinks the rest of us have none either. It's just one more burden - what was it she said? I forgot but it will come back to me later but it was "me me me"

    I will talk with my brothers and see if we can arrange a time for us to get together and just talk. That will be easier without her sitting there judging everything we say or even worse trying to tell us about the resurrection.

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    (((( LL)))))

  • jstalin
    jstalin

    LL - don't let your mother wipe your sister's memory off the face of the earth.....

  • Es
    Es

    Big hugs, why not hold your own service like you said, at least you will have the chance to say goodbye.

    es

  • hubert
    hubert

    Have your own private service with your brothers.

    Light a candle together, and talk to each other about your sister.

    ((((Lady Lee)))))

    Hubert

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz

    I'm very sorry to hear this, Lady Lee. Witness parents can be very cruel.

    I think getting together with your brothers for a 'remember' is a good idea.

    ((((((((((Lady Lee)))))))))

    J

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    (((((((Lee)))))))) You are in control of what you want. You know what it is. Why not do it?

  • misspeaches
    misspeaches

    ((((LL))))

    It doesn't matter how much life experience you have under your belt your mum is still going to try and take control of your life in one form or another.

    Don't let her.

    Why not have your own memorial service with your siblings. Invite her along. Let her see that you all can honour your sister and pay your respects without her.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Well I'm waiting for my brother to get back to me. Mother was going to call him after she got off the phone with me.

    In the end this will be so much better to do without her. Not that any of us wants to see our mother dearest. And I want to see her even less than my brothers do. If just me and the boys meet (well 2 of the 3 because we don't know where the other one is - again) we can do our own thing.

    Interestingly when I talked to my mother last night she thought the oldest of the boys had moved to Vancouver. Seems he is fed up with her too. She knew nothing of his wife's illness and that he was still in Toronto. It seems he hasn't talked to her in well over a year.

    Yup one big unhappy family.

    These deaths sure stir up a lot of the old crap.

    You know she was like this when our father died. I couldn't have cared less but my youngest brother was having a hard time grieving for the father he never really had. He rrespinse - "So!" Not one shred of empathy for her son's loss.

    Why the h*ll am I bothered by this. I KNOW this is how she is.

    I guess somewhere inside of her I expect to find a real person with a heart.

    Will someone please smack me upside the head and smarten me up

  • GoingGoingGone
    GoingGoingGone

    ((((((((((((Lady Lee))))))))))))

    Have a private service with your siblings and anyone else who cared about your sister and who you want to include. Only include them if they are capable of real feelings and empathy for what you and your siblings are going through now. Talk about your sister, talk about your feelings, or do whatever you and your siblings feel is appropriate to honor her memory and recognize the pain you feel right now over losing her.

    Whatever you decide, I wish you peace.

    GGG

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit